


Mirror, Mirror

by Sourlander



Series: NaNoWriMo [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Armitage Hux Can Sing, Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Armitage Hux has to do a job he's not too fond of, Brendol Hux's A+ Parenting, Eventual Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Gingerpilot, Heartbreak, Implied Kylux, M/M, Millicent the cat - Freeform, Musical, Past Child Abuse, Past Kylux, Romance, Teacher AU, nerdy stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 67,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sourlander/pseuds/Sourlander
Summary: Armitage Hux starts a new job at a new school. It's taken him years to get out of his father's grasp and this is the only choice he has left now.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Armitage Hux
Series: NaNoWriMo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995502
Comments: 152
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a project I started for NaNoWriMo. I'm plantsing as ususal, and I'm gonna try to update as often as possible, because updating is the best motivation for me.

** Mirror, Mirror **

** Chapter 1 **

It would take him forever to get used to this. To waking up early. To stumbling to the tiny kitchenette to make tea at six o’clock in the morning. He’d always prided himself in being more than just efficient. He’d trained himself to be. Of course he would get used to this. He had to.

As he was leaning against the kitchen counter, he did his best to ignore the chink in the tile beneath his big toe. He had chosen this, he told himself, staring at the water turning sluggish brown in the water of his mug. He had decided to come here, to the end of the world. He had decided to take this job. And he would get through this. One day at a time, because that’s just what it took sometimes. He’d done it in school, at university and during the first few years in London. Well, how hard could it be?

Frowning, Armitage Hux watched the tea leaves swirling around the strainer in the tall white mug. It could be fucking hard. And he doubted this town would make it easy on him. The soft chirping on his phone announced that the tea was done and he picked up the strainer and emptied the sodden leaves into the appropriate container, fully intending on burying them in the one flower pot on his balcony after school. That’s what he needed. A schedule. He’d meant to prepare one the day before, and the day before that. The problem was, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Because doing it would mean giving in. It would mean admitting that he’d failed utterly and accepting this. That his father had won, even if his father would never call it winning. Armitage’s life goals were crushed and it had happened so damn quick. Only two weeks ago, he’d been in London in a brand new apartment, riding the wave of euphoria after getting his dream job. Closing his eyes, he rubbed his forehead. Well, that life was over, wasn’t it? His father had made sure of that.

Clearing his throat, he picked up the carton of one percent milk and let a couple of drops fall into the mug. He preferred watching the browinsh clouds taking up the dark contents of his tea to looking out of the clean, semi-open window and onto the street. What the hell had he been thinking? His stomach lurched after a brief look at his watch. He still had time. Time to take a shower, get dressed and get to school. That damn school in this damn town. With a low grunt, he took a sip, revelling in the familiar bitter taste on his tongue. Well, at least he had that. And he would take his time with this one piece of home.

A soft bleeping sound turned his attention back to the phone. A message had appeared on his screen and he pulled a face. Because it was the only thing he could do to keep his insides from churning. “Damn you,” he muttered, turning the phone so the screen was facing the counter rather than him. He had no interest in being reminded of what he’d been forced to give up. He preferred being angry to feeling miserable. And damn, he was missing it already. The rush he’d felt every single time the stage manager would call him forward and he’d already been there, waiting for the musical queue. Waiting for the strings to sweep him away. To slip into somebody else’s story and let himself be that person.

A short-lived dream. And he should have seen it coming, shouldn’t he? The problem was, he hadn’t spoken to a single person in the company about leaving, and these messages were bound to appear more often now. They thought, after all, that he’d dropped out because of a family emergency. They were expecting him back. Well, good luck waiting. Ignoring the searing heat and the dull pain in his chest, he took another large gulp of tea, set it down on the counter started toward the bathroom, ignoring the glaring sunshine outside on the dusty road.

One day at a time. That was what he needed to do and remember. That was what he had to tell himself every single morning, or else he’d go insane. He stepped past a couple of neatly stacked empty boxes and pushed the door open. Another task for that afternoon.

Make a schedule. Clear away the boxes. Start planning lessons for the next few weeks.

One day at a time.

He threw a glance into the bedroom, at the neatly made bed that held no trace of what had happened there the night before. Normally he was not the kind of guy to go into a local bar and pick up the first guy he laid his eyes on. He really wasn’t, but the aching in his chest had become unbearable the night before his first day at the new job, and it was either that, or spend the night in this damn apartment with nothing but a bottle of expensive whiskey. Somehow, sleeping with a stranger, no matter how disappointing it had been, was preferable to waking up with a hangover. The hangover was something he would’ve regretted and sex was something you could just pretend had never happened simply by throwing the guy out, changing the sheets and making the bed. And there was no way he could do this again anytime soon. Not with the new position he’d found himself in. This was a small town and he sure as hell couldn’t start sleeping around.

Letting out a huff, he looked at his face in the mirror and found himself grateful that the shadows under his eyes weren’t too dark and the sneer not too apparent. He’d have to work on that too. And he hated seeing himself like this, because for the past ten years he had managed to make that person disappear. To forget that jerk his father had forced him to be, hadn’t been there in the mirror every time he looked. And within a day that guy had returned. Like a reverse Scrooge. And wasn’t that just ludicrous?

A loud crash made him whirl around. “What the…” He took a step back to look into the living area. Small, shabby, sparsely furnished with a chair, a table and kitchen furniture. He really needed to get stuff to put here. And then his eyes travelled to the open window and the scrawny ginger cat sitting on the counter. It was just sitting there, staring at him with huge green eyes. “What’s up with you?” Armitage shook his head and stepped into the kitchen again. “Get out!”

The cat kept looking at him and wailed once, but otherwise just sat there.

With a sigh, he stepped closer and a sudden pain shot up his foot as something sliced the skin. “Fuck!” And then there was it. The slippery hotness of blood beneath is foot. Cursing, he looked at the tea mixed with blood on his kitchen tiles and he felt the minutes ticking away. “Damned cat!” he hissed, looking up at the animal responsible for smashing his one and only mug. “Off! Get out!” he shouted, but still the animal wouldn’t move. He dropped into the chair and started picking the shards of white porcelain from beneath his foot as his heart started racing. Late on the first day on the new job. Well, if that wasn’t just perfect.

And then the cat made that sound again. Looking up, he watched it move closer, balancing on the kitchen counter one paw at a time. Within seconds it was right next to him, the green eyes hovering only inches from his own. “What now?” he prompted. “Gonna scratch my eyes out and make the day perfect?” But instead, it just hopped off the counter and sauntered towards his bedroom. “I don’t believe it! Get out!” With a smack his foot landed on the tiles, surely leaving a great crimson print behind as he was ready to follow the damn cat and throw it out. And then he heard the second alarm from his phone. So much for the time he had set aside to overthink what he was going to wear. He only had ten minutes left before had to be out the door. Cursing under his breath, Armitage strode into his bedroom, grabbed the cat without thinking twice and pulled his hands back at once. It hissed and jumped from the bed to hide underneath and Armitage looked open-mouthed at the scratch marks on his hand. “Don’t you dare pee on my carpet!” With a low grunt, he deleted the message he’d received about half an hour ago and headed for the shower. He didn’t need Dopheld Mitaka asking him when he’d be back in London to feel miserable.

The dust on his windscreen was probably the biggest difference to London. It was dirt that would take going through a car wash to get rid of. He’d prefer constant raindrops and mud. Anything but this. Anything but searing heat. _Well, you chose this. You made the decision to come here and leave your home._ The thought didn’t help much. Far from it. If this was a holiday, he might enjoy this, but the mere thought that this place, that the city of Anchorhead, with its desert surroundings and the tiny harbour was supposed to be his home now, was devastating. It would be years before he could get back to London. Maybe he’d never go back. In fact, it was more than probable he’d never see that place again.

“Forget about that for a second, will you?” There was no use wishing himself back when it’d been he who had left it all behind for the sake of a shred of dignity. At least that was what he told himself, because it was the only way he could pull himself together and make his way to the High School at the other end of town.

He drove past the by now almost familiar buildings and small-town shops. Next to no big chains, mostly local stores. Who’d have thought that stuff still existed. Even the bookstore was independent. He wasn’t sure if he should be impressed or devastated by it. Well, at least he didn’t have to worry about the clutch at the moment with his damaged foot. He was pretty sure the wound had stopped bleeding, but he wasn’t exactly looking forward to walking again and feeling the sting and the blood seeping into his socks.

And then there it was. That school. He’d been there a few times already, twice just to memorize the route he’d have to take every morning from now on. Twice more he’d been here to talk to the principal and he couldn’t say he was too comfortable at the prospect of working for her. Leia Organa was certainly not a woman to cross and the way she looked at him, he got the weird feeling that she could see right through him. Yet another reason he should have paid more attention to his clothes that day. But there was no use worrying about that, he thought, as he pulled up to the teacher parking area and got out of his miserable, old Volkswagen, ignoring the stares of the five or so students waiting by the two cars already parked in the student area. Picking up his brown leather bag from the backseat and slamming the door shut, he headed for the main entrance, trying to ignore the stinging pain in his left foot as he made his way inside. Already the sun was burning on his neck. It was only a matter of time before the freckles were his constant companion again.

He walked straight past the teacher’s lounge, heading for the principal’s office instead. He could only hope this day would be over soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. Still at Hux's first day.

“Leia, can we please talk about the budget again?”

“Since when are you worried about the budget?” The sardonic smile on her face was infuriating. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t pestered him about it about a million times.

Poe scowled at her, as he hurried to keep up with her. “You saw the giant hole and the mouldy floorboards in the gym floor, right? If we don’t get the money to get that fixed, all we’ll be able to do in that gym is play _The Floor is Lava_ if we don’t want the students to fall through.”

“Your sense of humour is delightful, as usual, Poe. My suggestion is: go outside. Make a parkour out of the parking lot?”

He suppressed a groan. She wasn’t wrong. He knew their budget was already stretched to the limit, but he couldn’t just ignore this, could he? “Can you see me laughing?”

“No, but I also know you can be a good actor.”

“Leia.”

“Poe.” She stopped walking so abruptly he almost ran into her. He carefully took a step back. They had only just entered the school, had only just met in the parking lot and already they were fighting. “You know as well as I do, that we simply cannot get any more funding. It’s either the gym or teachers. Which is more important?”

Poe bit his lip, placed his hand on his hips and shook his head. “That’s not what I’m talking about. We need to get other sources for funding, then. These kids need P.E., and they need to be able to exercise outside of the sun.”

“They also need to be taught by some _one_ , not just some _where_.”

“Not saying that’s not true, but I think we should look into more options.”

“Good thinking. You’re vice principal, I’m gonna leave that to you.” Though not entirely unexpected, Poe still felt like he should say something more. He should tell her that this wasn’t just his business. That she had to be as involved as him if they wanted to keep this school running. She seemed to read his thoughts, though. After a few seconds of looking at him, her brown eyes softened and she shook her head. “Poe,” she said quietly, putting a hand on his arm. “We’re going to pull through this. And I promise we’ll talk about it some more this afternoon, but right now I have to greet the new guy. And so should you. Can we postpone this?”

The new guy. Sure. Poe hadn’t been there for the interview, but he knew that they needed him. “Sure,” he sighed, hoisting his bag over his shoulder again and starting to head for the office again. He did his best to ignore the stains on the walls and the floor. This school was severely underfunded, and, yes, the gym wasn’t the biggest problem this school had. But just seeing it felt like a punch to the gut. “What’s his name again?”

“Hux,” Leia said. They were close now and through the glass door separating the main corridor from the administrative part, he spotted Dave, the school’s secretary, already busy at work sorting papers and taking down notes and he paused, holding the door open for Leia. And there it was. The reason why this school was worth going to. Worth staying at. Because, despite the problems, it was a place where people came together. Where all talents were valued. And Dave, who had just picked up the slack when their old secretary had died of a heart attack, had stopped just being a dad taking his kid to school, and was still working here five years later.

“Hey guys!” he said as Leia and Poe walked in and Poe’s eyes fell on the thin, pale red-head sitting opposite Dave. “Mr Hux here has been waiting for you for ten minutes.”

So this was him. The new guy. He looked up, an almost imperceptible blush creeping into his cheeks as he was addressed like this. Quickly he came to his feet and Poe noticed that the man’s shoe’s were the exact same shade of blue as the tie. That guy had seriously taken care getting dressed that morning. Expensive jeans, a crisp white shirt, hair immaculately styled. Clearly, the man put a lot of effort into making a good impression. How many years teaching experience did this man have? Poe couldn’t remember, but he forced a smile as the sea-green eyes locked with his. “Hey,” he said and the man licked his lips, still looking incredibly nervous.

“Morning.”

Poe blinked, slightly taken aback. You didn’t hear a British accent here very often. Rey would be thrilled. He broke into a real smile now. That guy had a nice voice. And the girls would swoon over him. Poe could already hear the chatter in the corridor after Hux’s first class.

Opening the door to her office, Leia nodded at Hux. “Good Morning, Mr Hux. Come along with us.”

Hux picked up the brand new leather bag and slung it over his shoulder. Poe made room for him and he caught a whiff of expensive aftershave as Hux passed him. “Please, take a seat,” he heard Leia say and then Dave cleared his throat.

“What?” Poe prompted, making Dave grin before the former car salesman turned his mis-matched eyes back to the paperwork. Bills. Great.

“Nothing,” Dave said, then added in a whisper, so only Poe could here. “The guy is nervous.”

Poe snorted. Who wasn’t on their first day? “What’s new?”

Dave grinned up at him and leaned back in his chair. “Do you want to know which teachers have already called in sick, or not?”

“Poe!” Leia sure didn’t sound happy.

“You know what,” Poe whispered to Dave, “let Leia deal with that.”

Hux had already sat down, as had Leia. She raised her eyebrows at Poe as he entered, her chin rested on her folded hands and she was smiling knowingly at him. “How many?”

“Your problem,” Poe smiled at her, feeling good. He loved giving back.

Her grin though didn’t bode well, but she didn’t retaliate and looked instead at Hux again as soon as Poe had closed the door behind himself. “Mr Hux, this is my vice principal, Poe Dameron. Poe, meet Armitage Hux.”

_Armitage_. Poe found himself smiling as he sat on the edge of Leia’s desk, remembering all too well the first time he’d applied for a job at a school and the vice principal had come in and sat on the principal’s desk. The principal had scolded his colleague right there in front of him. Good thing he hadn’t gotten that job. “Welcome at Mouldy Gym High.” Poe said, coaxing a polite smile from Hux, who appeared to be even more insecure.

“Poe…” He could hear Leia’s eyeroll before he saw her patient smile as he turned around to look at her.

“I’m gonna let this drop, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are.” Leia chuckled. “No, Mr Hux, it’s really not all that bad here. Let me kick this off by something else. We’re all on first name terms here. I’m Leia. Don’t you dare call me Principal Organa. Not to my face anyway.”

At this, Hux laughed in earnest and Poe watched his slender shoulders relax. “Right. Won’t happen, Leia.”

Leia nodded. “Right. Did you find your way here okay? You emailed Dave a new address last week?”

“Well,” Hux looked up at Poe, then out the window for a brief moment, “Well, I couldn’t very well stay in that Motel forever, could I? I got an apartment at the other end of town.”

“Hang on,” Poe burst out and Hux’s head snapped around. “You moved here just for this job?”

“Does that surprise you?”

Poe bit on his lip to suppress a laugh. Not a lot of people who hadn’t been born here lived here, except when they needed to. That guy must have been really desperate to get a job in the middle of nowhere, and Poe had to admit, that was quite intriguing.

“Back to the topic at hand,” Leia said behind him, but Poe didn’t turn to look at her this time. He folded his arms over his chest and kept observing this man in his impeccable clothing. High cheekbones, full lips. And that voice… that accent. Oh yes, Armitage Hux was seriously going to be a major topic for student swooning. Well, it might be, if he smiled more. “I’m glad you found a place. That’ll make things easier for you. I’m sure you’re eager to get started.”

“I am.” Hux was still sitting with his back straight, legs crossed and hands folded over his knees. And only now did Poe notice that he two socks of different colour.

He found himself smiling and quickly moved his eyes up again. He really didn’t want to make this guy even more uncomfortable. “Do you know your way around the school yet?” he asked, pushing himself away from the table and moving over to the filing cabinet by the window. The parking lot was buzzing with students now.

“Only from my car to this office, I’m afraid.” Hux said and Poe was relieved to finally see a genuine smile on his face. _There we go._

He turned around, Hux’s file in hand, cursing himself for not having read the CV yet. But there was no time for that now. “Yeah, sorry about that. Things have been really busy here. You have the first period off, right? How about I show you around and then you can get acquainted with everything.” It wasn’t ideal. It really wasn’t, but that’s just how things worked sometimes. “Physics and Music, right?”

“Yes,” Hux said, “though I only studied Physics at university. I haven’t really done anything with it since.”

Poe shook his head and casually flicked the file back to the CV. He had to hold back a gasp. Oxford. Really, that wasn’t bad atall. He didn’t think he’d ever been in the presence of an Oxford alumni. Well, there was a first time for everything. Hux had teacher training and some minor experience, he saw, but then Hux had stopped teaching about ten years ago. Poe didn’t have time to read the rest, because Leia was speaking again and he quickly closed the file.

“I’ll introduce you to the rest of the staff during lunch break. We don’t really have time to do that now.”

It was all he could do to fight the scowl as he followed Dameron through the hallways already packed with students. Somehow he’d never expected an American high school to look exactly like they did in the movies. But there they were: the metal lockers. Just looking at them reminded him every single step of the way that he was actually here. He didn’t even need to listen to chatter of the students to be reminded of it.

“Here’s the library,” Dameron said, opening the door to a vast room filled with shelves upon shelves, several desks and a couple of old-fashioned computers in one corner. And for the first time since leaving Organa’s office, he felt like he was entering a truly clean room. He’d forgotten this was a thing. That libraries were among the cleanest places in schools.

He nodded. “I forgot to ask, do you have wifi?”

Dameron pulled a face and closed the door again. “We’re planning on getting wifi in the next decade.”

Armitage found himself smiling, though he would’ve liked to scream internally. Maybe he should have spent more time looking for another job after all. Well, this was a start anyway. And it hadn’t been to hard to get this job, thanks to the phone call his former boyfriend had made to Organa. Ben Solo wasn’t on excellent speaking terms with his mother, but one phone call had been enough to secure an open mind. Well, and it didn’t look like too many people wanted to come here and teach anyway. He fought for an empty expression as he threw one last look at the computers, before following Dameron out into the corridor again.

“Funding’s been a bit of a problem to be honest. Not a big surprise, really the wharf is pretty close to shutting down for good. Lots of people are losing their jobs.” Why was this sounding like an apology?

Armitage raised his eyebrows at Dameron and nodded. “Well, at least there’s electricity.”

Dameron’s laugh wiped all thought from his head. It was loud and ringing with genuine mirth. Armitage just stood there, looking at this black-haired man with the stubble and the incredible laugh, who was now his boss and he felt the smile coming on again. “I’m glad you can be funny,” Dameron said, clapping him on the shoulder just as the bell rang for the first lesson and the students reluctantly started heading towards their classrooms. “Come on, let’s get you to the Physics lab.”

“What are you teaching when you don’t show new guys around the school, then?”

There was that grin again. “P.E. and English.”

“Ah, so you’re the football coach?”

“Nah, that’d be Rose Tico. She’s small, but she has that team under control like you wouldn’t believe. I prefer soccer to be honest.” Dameron shrugged and started walking again. “Your football.”

“I don’t follow sports much.” He felt almost stupid for saying it, but that was just it. And he wouldn’t even start telling Dameron about the five years he’d played tennis, because then he’d just feel ridiculous.

“Sure.” Dameron nodded. The hallways was empty already and they didn’t have to go far to get to the science department. “Here we are. Behold the physics lab,” he said, unlocking the door and pushing it open to reveal tiled tables with multiple electric outlets hanging from the ceiling, a massive blackboard at the end of the room and Armitage heaved a sigh of relief. This didn’t look perfect, but it looked okay. More than just okay, actually. He could even see an old projector dangling from the stained ceiling. He could work with that.

“You’ll be sharing this place with two other teachers, though Rey is in here most of the time. I see you only got three lessons of Physics a week?”

“Yes,” and he had to admit, he wasn’t too hung up about that. He’d liked the subject well enough, but his heart was set on something else entirely. Well, that was as long as these children here were willing to learn and teaching Music didn’t drag him down too much. God, he was almost sure teaching mostly Music would make him miss London even more. He pushed past Dameron and through to the door leading into the lab and took out the set of keys he’d just received from Organa. The door to the storage area was safely locked and a brief look at the equipment here. Neatly arranged and everything looked okay. Well, that really wasn’t all that bad. He could work with it.

Taking a deep breath, he leaned against one of the shelves, grateful Dameron couldn’t see him just now. Relieved he had a few minutes to himself and catch his breath. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted a desk, strewn with folders and a couple of USB sticks in a saucer. A quick look at his watch told him, that he needed to get going. He was already tired.

Dameron was sitting on one of the desks when Armitage came back into the room. “What do you have there?” he asked, pointing at Armitage’s hand. “Looks vicous.”

“Hm?”Armitage looked down at his hand and only just remembered the cat. It had still been sitting under his bed when he left and his stomach flipped at the mere thought of what that beast might be doing in his apartment just now. “Cat.”

“Oh, you already got a pet? Geez, you’re really settling in fast, huh?” Dameron jumped off the table. Why was he so fond of sitting on desks?

“Not exactly,” Armitage hissed, shoving his hand into his pocket. “Just a stray that made its way into my kitchen this morning.”

The right eyebrow moved up slightly and Dameron nodded, though there was no further comment on the cat situation. As they walked along yet another corridor, Armitage chanced a few glimpses through the glass in the doors and his heartbeat picked up as he saw teacher after teacher standing in front of their class. He’d prepared his lessons well enough, but seeing this was more than just nerve-wrecking. He hadn’t done this in years!

“You okay?”

Armitage’s head snapped back to Dameron, whose dark eyes locked with his immediately. His stomach seemed to tighten as he took a deep breath. There it was again. The tension in the muscles of his face. How he hated scowling like this. He hated seeing his own father staring back at him when he looked into the mirror. “Yes,” Armitage said, clearing his throat and forcing his mouth to relax. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“Right… Anyway, this is the Music Room. Teacher’s Lounge is right down the hall. If you need anything else, that’s where I’ll be.”

Armitage nodded, unable to say anything else. Ten minutes time, then the first students would come in through this door, and he still had to set up everything. “Yes, well, thank you for showing me around, Mr Dameron.”

“It’s Poe.”

“Right… I’m sorry. Poe.” He turned to look at the vice principal again, wishing the other’s stare wasn’t so intense. And why was he grinning like that? Dameron cocked his head and leaned against the wall, arms folded over his broad chest again.

“I mean it. Tell me if you need anything. Armitage.”

Armitage almost dropped his keys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the lovely people who left me a comment. Since this is a NaNoWriMo project (which I'm posting as I write it) and I'm not a native speaker, there will be more mistakes in this piece. Sorry!
> 
> Still, let me know your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life's crazy, huh? I'm back. Writing is a really excellent coping mechanism, isn't it? ;) Anyway: Enjoy!

One of the drawbacks of being part of the administration was that he barely got to teach anymore. Leia only took over classes of teachers who called in sick, so he really didn’t envy her. But as he stood there, at the edge of the mouldy volleyball pitch they had set up for today, he wished he could be in his office as well.

“It’s so warm!” sighed Nick, running a hand through his long, curly hair. “Can’t we close the door?” He’d come up running to Poe after the end of the game, his face sticky with sweat.

“Sorry, no.” Poe pulled a face, wishing he could tell the fourteen-year-old everything about the mould and about how airing out this place was the only way for them to have P.E. Well, he could tell him, but then Nick would tell his parents and his parents would make sure he was excused from P.E. for the rest of the year. The rest of the class would follow. So, really, Nick and the other kids were on a need-to-know basis, and he desperately hoped Rose was keeping it that way, too. “We’re having some problems airing out this place, and you teenagers smell really bad when you exercise.”

“Ha ha.” Nick rolled his eyes, but he was grinning. “You sound like my mom.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” Poe winked at him and blew his whistle. “Come on, time to take down the net!”

“No! Leave it there!” Rose came jogging into the gym. Poe was, as always, amazed at how fast she was. “I’m gonna need it for the seniors next period.”

“You sure? They hate volleyball.”

“Yeah, well, they shouldn’t have pissed me off then,” Rose muttered under her breath once she stood next to him.

Poe snorted and addressed the twenty teenagers. Nick was back on the playing field, having snatched the ball from Mark’s hands and playing basketball with it instead. “Okay, off to the changing rooms then! Someone close the door, please! And if your shirt is soaked through I want you to take a shower, is that clear?!” The announcement was met with groaning, and he knew most of the students would opt for deodorant instead. He had to make a note of telling the next person to teach them to open the window before the lesson even started.

When they were finally alone, he picked up his notebook to jot down some comments about the lesson and threw Rose a sidelong glance. “Who pissed you off?”

Rose groaned and threw a look over her shoulder to make sure they were alone. “Rick Dawson. He’s just so… urgh.”

“Still being a jerk?”

Rose let out a long breath and shook her head. “Someone tripped over the trash can after French class and I’m eighty percent sure it was him, but he just ran off with the rest of the class.”

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

She threw him a look and shook her head. “No, I can handle it. He hates volleyball. That should be enough for today.”

“You’re evil.” Poe grinned down at her and clapped her on the shoulder. “Ready to head over to the Teacher’s Lounge?”

“Looks like we have a new guy, huh?” Rose shrugged and nodded. “He seems okay. At least the seniors said so. They seemed really pissed because apparently he’s strict.”

“Huh,” Poe took out his keys and locked the gym after one final look around. “Strict isn’t bad.” Far from it. Especially in a subject most kids didn’t take too seriously. From what he could tell, most of them looked at Music as a soft option, so it wouldn’t hurt them to put some effort into it.

“I guess not. But they say he demands a lot.”

Poe shrugged. “Good.” He had to admit, he hadn’t expected this shy, insecure guy to be strict at all, but apparently that wasn’t the case. It would mean Hux didn’t have to fight that much later on. The hallways were buzzing with students, so there was no way for them to really get into more detail. “How’s practice going?” he asked instead as they walked by the infamous Rick Dawson, a plump pale boy with silver blond hair talking animatedly to a tall, thin Christopher Potter. The two of them were in the same year, and ever since their unlikely friendship had started, Poe had been hoping Potter might be a good influence on the smaller boy. No luck so far.

“Same old, same old.” Rose smiled. “You’re gonna be at the game this Friday, though, right? Rey says you should swing by after. She wants to make a quiche or something.”

“Count me in,” Poe said. “Finn wants to come too. Would that be ok?”

“Oh, you’re still hung up on that?” Rose threw him a sideways glance. It was a good thing they were so close to the Teacher’s Lounge. Poe cursed himself for having brought up the topic of Finn at all, but it’d just slipped out. “It’s been a year.”

“I know it’s been a year, thank you. And, no, I’m not hung up on Finn Kenobi. We’re friends and that’s it.”

“Okay… fine. If you say so.” But Rose didn’t sound too convinced. And this was another thing he didn’t want to talk about. Finn had made it clear that he was not interested, and, yes, Poe had struggled with it at first, but it was either that and keep Finn as a friend, or be pissed at something he had no influence over.

Rey was standing in front of the Teacher’s Lounge, talking to a couple of Juniors in a low voice. Giving them a smile, she stepped to the side to make room for them and Poe caught the word _assignment_ before he followed Rose inside. Already Leia was standing by the coffee maker, the most popular spot in the place, where Rose and Rey often left their cake experiments. And, sure enough, a huge orb-like chocolate cake was sitting on the counter, a couple of wedges already sliced off it. He could use a piece of that. He looked around, saw that most of the staff was already there and chanced a smile at Hux, who was standing by the window, a small cup in his hand. He appeared to be a lot more relaxed than he had done the last time Poe had seen him, as he casually leaned against the radiator, one hand in his pocket. Poe was almost sure, that, if he allowed himself to relax even more, he’d be downright handsome.

He walked over to the table, grabbed one of the messily assorted plates from the cupboard and loaded it with a big slice of cake. Then he picked up another plate and added an equally big slice to it.

“Can I have your attention please?” Leia said behind him and Poe looked up at Hux, who had visibly stiffened at the principal raising her voice. He stood up more straight, the cup held in front of his chest like a shield. The murmuring of the colleagues ceased at once. Leia really had this exceptional gift of getting a room to fall quiet almost instantly. “I’m sure you’ve noticed the new member of staff. I am very happy to introduce you to Armitage Hux, who will be teaching Physics and Music from now on.”

There was polite applause and Poe watched as the door opened and Rey slipped inside and onto her usual seat between Chad Bacca, the one and only Home Economics teacher, and Rose. 

“Would you like to say a few words?”

Hux didn’t look like he wanted to, but he pushed himself away from the cold radiator. “Yes… well, thank you for having me here.” He cleared his throat and immediately his voice became louder and he looked around at his new colleagues. “I already talked to a few of you,” he nodded at Rey, “but I’m really looking forward to this new chapter of my life here in Anchorhead.”

Leia thanked him, then stirred one more teaspoon of sugar into her coffee and nodded at Poe. “Poe. Meet me in my office in half an hour?”

“Sure thing, boss.” Time to talk about the budget and possible ways to get more money later, then. Well, at least Rey and Rose would be thrilled about a bake sale. He picked up the two plates and steered towards Hux, who was still by the window, cup in hand, and looking utterly forlorn. “Want some cake? Rey and Rose are really good at this stuff.”

Hux’s eyes flickered from Poe’s face to the plates in his hand and hesitated for a moment, then he tentatively took the plate from Poe. “Thanks.”

“Come on, let’s take a seat.”

As usual Rey, Rose and Chad were ready enough to welcome them at their table. Rey even grinned at Hux. “So, you two already met?”

Rey nodded enthusiastically. “I walked in on Armitage trying to teach some seniors the basics of the musical scale.”

“I believe it was slightly more than an attempt,” Hux said, lifting the cup to his lips.

Rey shrugged, apparently not as fussed about it. “That piano is in terrible shape, though.”

“Oh?” Poe raised an eyebrow at her. “Does it need tuning?”

“Yes,” Hux said, exchanging a glance with Rey and there was a glint in his eye that showed something conspiratorial. “And I’ll do that, but I guess there’ll have to be some minor repairs.”

That really didn’t bode too well, and Poe already added a major sum to the calculations he’d been doing in his head for the past few months. “How bad is it?”

“Some keys don’t work,” Rey said with a shrug. “Fun first lesson, I guess.”

And there it was. The first problem Hux must have run into on his first day already. That was why the students had called him strict. A teacher who didn’t laugh when the equipment wasn’t working, might come off as too harsh. But who was he to judge? As long as Hux felt okay…

“It was alright,” Hux said tightly, draining his cup. “I can repair it, I believe.”

“Hang on, you can do that? _And_ tune the piano?”

Hux nodded confidently. And it really looked like he was at home in this area. “I won’t do a perfect job, but I believe it will do the trick. In the meantime, I can bring in my electric piano.”

Well, that was something. Poe nodded appreciatively. What the heck was up with this guy? And why did he know how to do that? Poe couldn’t remember ever having met someone so uptight about his life. “Sounds good. Just let me know if you need anything, and what I need to order in.”

Hux nodded curtly and got up, his chair scratching over the tiles. “I’d better go prepare my next lesson.” He looked at Rose and Chad, but his eyes lingered on Rey for a moment longer, as though he was about to say something else. “See you later.” He went over to the kitchen counter, placed his cup in the dishwasher and picked up his bag before heading out again without looking back again.

“Poe, you’re okay?”

Only now did Poe realize he’d been tapping his fork on the plate. “Sure,” he said, smiling at Rey again. “He seems nice.” He caught Rey and Rose exchanging a glance while Chad leaned back, hands folded behind his head. “What?”

“He seems like he wants to be anywhere but here, Poe,” Rose said, leaning forward.

“What? Come on. He’s new. Of course he’d rather be anywhere but here. Hell, I’d rather be at home and take a walk with Beebee.”

Rey snorted and shook her head. “Well, at least he knows his stuff. And he can sing. When I walked into the Music Room to greet him, he was actually singing the musical scale.”

“He what?”

“Well, he’s creative, that’s for sure.”

“And he doesn’t like cake,” Rose said, eying the untouched plate Hux had left behind. “Very suspicious.”

He only wished he could laugh at that. But he had to agree. Which kind of person didn’t like cake? “I’m sure he’s just nervous,” he said lifted his own fork to his lips. Already the chocolatey scent wafted into his nostrils and he sighed appreciateively as soon as the sweet and bitter cake touched his tongue. “You guys are amazing,” he said, grinning up at the ceiling.

With a low grunt, Chad leaned forward and pulled Hux’s plate towards himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you pick up on the names of the two students? It took forever to find suitable ones. They're still not perfect, but perfection is not what NaNoWriMo is about. So... what do you guys think?


	4. Chapter 4

He picked up the phone before he could think better of it. It was a reflex, that was just it. He really had to work on that. “Dopheld.”

“Hey. How’s it going?”

Armitage swallowed hard, leaning back in his car seat and looking up at the bleak outside of the book shop. The window display was advertising a new young adult series Armitage had never heard of. Were the students at his school reading that book? Unlikely. Children these days didn’t read. The _Harry Potter_ era was long gone. “It’s alright,” he said. “What’s up?”

“I was wondering. There’s an audition for _Mormon_. Are you going?”

_Book of Mormon_ … he knew exactly he’d be perfect for Elder Price or, more likely, Elder McKinley. And wouldn’t his dad just love him playing a gay Mormon in a sparkly purple vest? He’d burn down the theatre at least. “No,” he said, wiping the sweat off his brow. “Are you?” Not that he was particularly interested, but it who could tell if he needed Dopheld again in future. It wasn’t likely, but who knew? A year ago, he wouldn’t have thought he’d ever be a teacher in the States. And here he was. Sweaty and exhausted in a cheap car, somewhere on the West Coast.

“Are you serious? You haven’t auditioned for anything since you cancelled your last contract.”

Clearing his throat felt rather like swallowing a whole batch of sandpaper. “Yes, I’m sure. I took another job in America.”

“Wow. You never said you were going there. New York?”

If only. But no. No, this was better. Armitage narrowed his eyes at the book in the window display. Who needed another heart-throb time travel story? Wasn’t that completely done to death? “Yes, well, it came up last minute. Listen, I have to go. I’ll call you later.”

“Sure. Let me know if-“

Armitage hung up on him. Let Dopheld get that part. Armitage would be glad he didn’t have to see it. He was terrible at dealing with jealousy. With a low grunt, he finally got out of his car, the heat of the afternoon sun hitting him like a mallet. He doubted somehow he’d ever get used to this.

As soon as he entered the book shop, he smelled it again. The tell-tale scent of books and carpet that muffled his steps. A tall black man, who appeared to be in his late twenties, was leaning behind the counter, deeply immersed in an ancient-looking copy of _Lord of the Rings_. He frowned at his book and looked up. “Afternoon,” he said. “Can I help you?”

“Just browsing, thanks.” Armitage shoved his hands into his pockets. If this place was supposed to be his home for the foreseeable future, he really needed to check out this book shop. Maybe even ask if they had a homepage where they sold e-books. He might as well support the local businesses.

The man went back to reading his battered old red paperback, and Armitage strolled over to the antiquities section right next to the main counter. It was little more than a shelf labelled “previously loved”. There was a donation jar on one of the shelves, adorned with various pride flags. A couple of green bills were already inside and beside it, in a simple silver picture frame, he saw a hand-written note. _Each donated book is worth whatever you want it to. All proceeds go to LGBTQ+ causes around the country._

Raising an eyebrow, Hux skimmed the backs of the books. There were quite a few, mostly cheap romance stuff, but also a few mystery novels and a guide to keeping cats. And why the heck was this standing out to him in particular now? He sure as hell wasn’t going to keep that cat.

With a low grunt, he turned away and headed for the novel section, hoping to find something to distract him for the next couple of evenings. Maybe he should have gone to the electronics store and gotten a TV instead. Or to some local IKEA to get something to put that TV on. So much for priorities.

His eye caught on the young adult novel he’d seen earlier in the window display, and, checking that nobody was looking, he picked it up. A young man was depicted on the cover, his back turned to the viewer as he overlooked a vast Roman style city from up a high mountain. Armitage felt the amused grin playing around his lips. He was thirty-six. He had no business reading a young adult novel. Least of all one that was called _The Riots of Alexandria._

“Hey, Finn, I brought you some cake.” That voice.

Armitage leaned back to peek around the shelf. And there he was again. The vice principal. That guy was everywhere, wasn’t he? He watched as Dameron slid the plate across the counter and leaned closer. “Still on _Two Towers?_ _”_

The man called Finn laughed and shook his head. “You were the one to tell me it would take some time, Poe. You actually told me not to rush through it but to savour every paragraph.”

“Yeah, I know, just...”

“Do you want your book back?”

“No! Keep it! I mean- for as long as you need. I still have a digital copy.”

“So you _do_ want it back.”

“No, I want you to read it.”

Were these two an item? Were they about to be? It surely looked like there was more going on, judging by the way Dameron was leaning on the counter and squabbling about an old book, one hand in his thick artistically tousled curls. And then Dameron turned and his gaze fell upon _him._ “Hey! You’re here!” He grinned widely. “You sing, you play the piano, you read. You’re the whole deal, aren’t you?”

Armitage’s eyes went wide for a moment and he almost staggered back at these words. “Yes, I read,” he said, far less venom in his voice than he would’ve liked to. He quickly grabbed one of the mystery books stacked on a small table. God, he hated mystery. But everything was better than being caught looking at _Riots of Alexandria_ by his new, flirty boss. “I can read.”

“I’m sure you can,” Dameron said, still leaning on the counter and looking at Armitage with pointed interest. “Finn, this is Armitage Hux, a new teacher at our school. Armitage, this is Finn Kenobi, the owner of the _bes_ t book shop in town.”

“Hey.” The man called Finn said with a smile. “And I’m the owner of the _only_ book shop in town.”

“Nice to meet you.” Armitage raised a hand in greeting. This was all getting too much. A day of teaching with a broken piano and realizing that he was more than just a bit terrified of the sudden responsibility, simply could _not_ be topped by an awkward encounter. He really needed to get home. Clutching the books to his chest, he hovered awkwardly at the shelf.

“You know, Finn and I wanted to grab a pizza this evening. Why don’t you come and join us?”

First cake, now an invitation to join him and his boyfriend? Where the hell was this going? And how was he supposed to decline an offer from his boss? “Sure. Maybe. I have to see how I get on with lesson planning.”

“Sure.” Dameron was still smiling brightly. “We’ll be at the only pizza place in town at seven.”

Armitage nodded. Time to get out of here. But the only way was past the register. He quickly strode towards it, ignoring the fact that Dameron had to very quickly step to the side to make room for him as he slapped the books on the counter.

“How long’ve you been here?” Finn asked, picking up the books and starting to ring them up. Armitage’s eyes got caught on the black stainless-steel ring on his right middle finger.

“Just about two weeks,” Armitage said, refraining from looking at Dameron.

“Oh, so you’re really _new_ new.”

Armitage lifted his gaze and found himself smiling at the younger man. “Sounds about right. It will take some getting used to.”

“Sure. Where are you from?”

“London. I just needed a change of scenery.”

Dameron threw his head back as he laughed. “Well, you certainly got that. I’ve only been there once three years ago, and it’s nothing like this place.” He cocked his head as Finn took out a paper bag to stuff the books inside.

“No, I don’t need a bag. Thank you.”

“Okay. That’ll be twenty-three ninety eight.”

Nodding, Armitage took out his wallet and plucked a twenty and a five-dollar bill out of it. “The rest is for that donations jar over there.”

Finn’s smile widened and he took the money, pushing the books back over the counter at him. “Thanks. Very much appreciated.”

Armitage was grateful he’d put the terrible mystery novel on top of the young adult one. “By the way, I like your ace ring.”

“What the hell, Poe?”

He knew exactly what Finn meant. Felt it reverberating to his very core. He slumped over the counter, head buried in his arms. “What?” His voice was muffled, but he heard the exasperation in it. Heard the beginnings of hopelessness creeping in on him.

“What the _hell_ , Poe?” Finn repeated, laughing now and patting the top of his head.

“What?!” he wiped his eyes and shook his head. “What’s up?”

Finn was still laughing. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Hey! I’m a teacher!”

“Teachers can be idiots. Pathetic idiots.”

“Very true.” Poe couldn’t help it. The laughter just burst out of him, and he didn’t even want to know the implications of that laugh. He pushed them as far away as possible, because what Finn was suggesting was nerve-wrecking. Wiping tears from his eyes, he took a deep breath. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s good to see you nervous and awkward flirting.” Finn pulled up his stool and sat down on it. “And he’s not entirely stupid.” He looked over his bookshelf, at the donations jar and the books on display there.

Poe bit his lip as he watched him. “He’s a colleague. I’m his boss. Not gonna happen, even if he were interested.” Finn’s head snapped around at this and his stomach tightened in shame. “We’re okay, right?”

“Sure. You know we are.” Finn was still smiling. “I’m glad you stop by.”

Gosh, he’d been hung up on that smile for so long. For two years. And then it had all just… broken apart. One kiss was enough. One kiss that told him Finn wasn’t into him. One kiss that had determined that this would never happen. “Sure.” Poe nodded, taking a deep breath. It had been hard at first, but with every day that he passed in Finn’s company, knowing that this was for the best, that Finn was fine the way things were when they were friends, was better than pining over something he could never have. “I hope it’s okay I invited him?”

“Go ahead. If he shows up.”

“He’s gonna show up.” Poe pushed himself away from the counter. It was high time he got home and took his dog for a walk.

“If you say so.”

“What would you say?”

“I’m not gonna say anything. We’ll see. I’m just glad you won’t be waiting there alone. Should we call Rey and Rose and see if they want to hang with us?” He started pulling the cling film from the cake and reached for the drawer right underneath the register for a fork. How many different kinds of utensils did he keep under there? Poe wondered as he took a step towards the door. “Sure, I’ll call them. Though I’m sure they’re both elbows-deep in that new cook book Chad gave Rose earlier.

“We’ll see.” Finn shrugged and took a bite. “Tell them their cake is magnificent.”

“They already know it is,” Poe laughed. “I’ll see you tonight.”

He turned to pull the door open, just as an old, black Volkswagen was started right in front of him. He spotted Hux behind the wheel and waved his hand in greeting, but Hux didn’t seem to notice. He just drove off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another update. Thanks for reading and, remember, comments are always appreciated! :-)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more talk about the cat coming up. And: I'm sorry.

** Chapter 5 **

Of course the cat was still there.

It wasn’t lying under his bed anymore, but on top of his pillow, eying him suspiciously the moment he walked through the door.

Armitage was just glad he’d left the window open, so this place didn’t smell like cat urine. “What am I gonna do with you?” he sighed, standing in the doorway to his bedroom, the bag with groceries still in his hand. How did this even work? He hadn’t baited the cat with food or milk or whatever it was that cats liked.

The ginger cat blinked lazily up at him.

Was that supposed to be the answer? And wasn’t that just ridiculous. Cats didn’t understand human speech. “So, you fleabag have decided to sleep in my bed…” He was just grateful he already had a washing machine. “Are you gonna scratch me again when I try to throw you out?” 

It let out a low meow as he approached, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt.

“Or are you gonna eat me when I sleep?” Tentatively he stretched out his hand, ready to grab the cat by the neck and throw it out, when it pressed its head into his hand, soft, silky fur against his skin. “No, that’s not what I meant,” he laughed despite himself. Carefully he lowered himself onto the bed. “Now, how do I know if you belong to someone?”

As with most cats, there was no collar around its neck, but it was willing enough to be stroked. The fur felt okay, he told himself, ignoring the fact that his shoulders were starting to relax just by touching the creature. “You’re a big one, aren’t you?” he muttered, taken aback when the cat got up and stretched. Slowly, purring audibly, it advanced towards him, the red hair shimmering golden in the evening sunlight as it sat down right next to him, it’s side pressed against his leg. It wasn’t exactly skinny, he thought, still stroking her, and only waiting for something really small to jump at him from her thick fur. Didn’t strays have flees and all other kinds of diseases? How about worms? Was he supposed to be wearing gloves? “Come on, I can’t throw you out if you do this,” he muttered, rolling his eyes. He was hungry. He needed to take a shower and get some work done. And here he was, sitting on his bed and fussing over a stray that had just waltzed into his home.

He took his phone out of his pocket to look up the closest pet clinic.

Great, and he’d probably have to pay for that too, wouldn’t he? But this wasn’t his!

The cat kept on purring, pressed tightly against his leg as he stroked it. He couldn’t stop. The clinic was about ten minutes’ drive from his apartment. It wasn’t bad. “Hey, maybe they can find you a home,” he said, patting the cat’s lumpy side and getting to his feet. “I’m going to make myself a sandwich, you wait here.”

Was he seriously talking to a cat here?

Nothing for it. Better to talk to a cat than listen to the billionth podcast of the month. It didn’t take him long to stow away the groceries in his sparsely stocked cupboards and he grudgingly took out the tin with cat food he’d bought after walking past it three times in the store.

And, sure enough, there the cat was. Sitting on the counter, just like it had that morning. “Did you catch a rat, or do you want proper food?”

The answering meow made him laugh out loud and he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders.

“Fine.” He nodded, then dumped the contents of the small tin onto a saucer, before picking up the wholegrain bread he’d bought and started fixing himself a sandwich. Should he go to the restaurant tonight? What time was it anyway?

And didn’t he want to start setting up a schedule for himself? Well, so much for that. First the broken piano had smashed his Music lesson, then the cat had still been here when he got home.

He watched the cat as he leaned against the counter, wishing the cheese he’d bought tasted a bit better than it did. Well, at least this was food. Efficiency. That was what counted right now. And the cat was almost as efficient as him, gulping down the mush of brown stuff without complaint. They both finished up at the same time and Armitage didn’t hesitate to pick it up, hoping it wouldn’t ruin his shirt, or rip open his carotid artery once it realized where they were headed.

“You know, you’re ruining my life right now,” he told the cat, holding it close against his chest as he hurried over to the front door again.

Just outside, back in the searing heat, he stood for a moment, the cat now pressed flush against his chest. Did he imagine it, or was it trembling?

“Oh, she’s back!”

His head snapped around to the door next to his. His neighbour, tall, tanned Mitch Jepson was leaning out of his small living room window, a cigarette between his long, thin fingers.

“Excuse me?”

“That’s old Mrs Miller’s cat.”

“Excuse me, who?” Armitage asked, not daring to move closer. At the mere sight of the cigarette between the other man’s lips, he felt the pressing urge to ask for one himself. Gosh, he missed this. But he’d quit ten years ago. Moving to a new town did not mean he had to start again.

“Mrs Miller. The old lady who lived in your place. Her granddaughter found her one morning. Haven’t seen the cat since.”

What a cheerful thought. Well, at least that explained why the cat had come here and why it had insisted on lying in his bed. “Well, she’s back,” he said quietly. “I’m about to take her to the vet.”

Mitch nodded, his bright blue eyes narrowed slightly. “You gonna keep her?”

“What? No!” Armitage exclaimed, ignoring the soft hissing coming from the cat as he cradled her head.

“Suit yourself.” Jepson shrugged, took one last drag from his cigarette and put it out in the ashtray sitting on the windowsill. “You have the same hair colour.”

“He’s not coming.” Finn was standing beside him, hands deep in his pockets. “Can we go in?”

Poe shrugged, looking down the streets anyway. Why was he even disappointed? Finn had called it, hadn’t he? “Sure,” he sighed, ignoring the pat on the shoulder from Rose. He didn’t need to be pitied. He really didn’t. Instead, he followed the others inside and within minutes they were seated at their usual table, the talk jumping from tales about the usual suspects – various unnamed students – to recent books. All the while, Poe was sitting in his seat by the window, looking out into the street. There wasn’t a whole lot of traffic, which wasn’t that uncommon for this time of day, but a couple of cars were driving by and every now and again he spotted a familiar face. He’d grown up in this place and had only left for college. Within a few years he had been back, ready to be a teacher at his old high school. It was a dream come true. And he liked being close by to where his father lived. Who could tell, when the old man would need him every day on that farm of his.

“Poe, you listening?”

He cleared his throat and turned to look at Rey who was seated next to him. “Huh?”

“Are you okay with just cheese and mushrooms?”

“Sure, the usual.”

Rey threw him a bright smile. “So, you’ve been waiting for new guy to show up?”

He let out a low grunt. “Just thought it’d be nice. He’s new here. Doesn’t know anybody. You know what that’s like.”

“Sure.” Rey shrugged.

“But when Rey got here, she was no sourpuss,” Rose added, eyes trained on Rey with so much affection Poe actually felt like he was intruding on something. Ever since Rey and Rose had started dating, these glances between them had only increased.

To his relief, Finn jumped in: “I wouldn’t say he’s a sourpuss.” He took a sip of his lemonade. “Just a bit intimidated.” It seemed like he was about so add something else, but then he caught Poe’s gaze and he smiled. “New living situation, new job… Poe.”

Poe let out a long breath. “Change of subject, please. Hux- sorry, Armitage, is not nervous because of me. That’s ridiculous.”

“She’s okay, I’d say.” The tall vet was still bent over the cat, feeling its sides and its stomach with expertise.

“I thought it had worms,” Armitage frowned down at the cat, arms folded over his chest. The vet’s head shot up at him. She was wearing glasses that only accentuated her fierce features and her accusing stare did little to calm him.

“It’s not mine!” he said. “It just strolled into my apartment. It belonged to the former resident there.”

“Ah.” The vet nodded and scratched the cat behind her ears. “I’d say she’s pretty far along. If I were you, I’d make sure to have a comfortable bed for her.”

“I just told you-“

“If you don’t take her in, I’m going to have to take her to the rescue shelter. But she’s a lot older than most cats who end up in there. If you don’t take her home with you-“

“Listen, this isn’t my responsibility. I don’t have time for a cat.”

“You brought her here. You care.”

Armitage glared at her. How dare she?! How dare she assume he would take this cat home and care for it? He hadn’t asked for this. None of it. Wasn’t it enough of a compromise to vanish from the face of the Earth to become a ruddy teacher in a rural hell hole? “Well, you’re wrong. Just give me the bill and take her to the shelter. This is not my cat.”

The eyebrows rose, but she didn’t speak up again. Clearly, he had made his point and made it count. He told himself he was relieved when she picked the cat up again. “Come here, beautiful,” she said, carrying the cat past a row of high cabinets and towards a set of cages in a fairly isolated area of the room. The green stare of the cat was fixed intently on Armitage, he quickly looked down at his shoes. He had no business owning a pet, telling himself he should be relieved. “You’re gonna have your litter in a really nice place,” he heard the vet tell the cat and his stomach twisted painfully. He threw a look at his watch. So much for dinner with his colleagues.

Good job, half-heartedly making friends in this God-forsaken place.

And whose fault was it? The cat’s. First it had kept him from getting ready properly that morning, and now he’d miss socialising with the people he was working with. Perfect.

“We’re gonna do an ultrasound tomorrow, figure out how many babies you’re gonna have.”

Armitage let out a sigh as something in his chest seemed to squeeze tight. He could see what the woman was doing. But it wouldn’t work. “Can we get a move on?” he asked.

She stood up then, nodding and all traces of a smile gone from her face. “Come with me, then,” she said gravely.

She took the lead and Armitage hovered in the doorway for another moment, chancing a glance at the cat sitting in its cage, the green orbs fixed intently on him. Almost accusatory. What a stupid cat. Frowning at her, he turned around to follow the vet through the glass door, when he heard the cat’s loud meow again. He stopped short, catching a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and he saw the tightness of his mouth, the grim eyes.

He looked exactly like his father.

Poe was digging through his pocket to find his keys. He only had five of them. How difficult could it be to find those?

Rey and Rose had already left, strolling hand in hand back to Rey’s apartment. Finn was looking pretty damn tired himself. “There they are,” Poe muttered, pulling the keys from his pocket. “Thanks for tonight. I really needed to get out.”

“Sure.” Finn nodded and clapped him on the shoulder. He’d just have to head across the road, since his apartment was right over the bookshop. “Give my love to Beebee.”

Poe laughed and shook his head. “He’ll be delighted. See you around.”

“Bye, Poe.”

He stood by his car, watching Finn cross the road. No, he really was grateful they had stayed friends. Finn was one of the most loyal, most honest people he’d ever met and he wouldn’t give that friendship up over something as minor as heartbreak.

Poe was just about to get into the car when he spotted the black Volkswagen approaching. He paused, looking up with a frown. Wasn’t that Hux’s car? So, he hadn’t shown up to dinner, but preferred driving around?

He caught a flash of red from the driver side as the car drove by and felt a lump in his throat. Well, you couldn’t force people to like you, could you?

Biting his lip, he pulled the car door open, when he caught the Volkswagen turn in the middle of the road and head back. Poe froze, watching the car pull up to stand beside his car in the middle of the wide, empty road. The driver window was lowered and through the glass Poe could already see the deep frown on Hux’s face.

“Sorry, I didn’t come,” Hux said, leaning his head out the window.

Poe leaned against the roof of his own car, telling himself he was neither relieved nor puzzled by this. “It’s alright. No obligations and so on…”

“No, you don’t understand… I got a cat!” Hux pointed to his backseat with his thumb. It was on the same hand on which Poe had spotted the scratches earlier that day. “A real life cat.”

Poe stood there, nonplussed, staring down at the man and he wasn’t sure if he’d gone insane or was just regularly freaking out.

“I got a pregnant cat, Poe!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a very impatient person. I couldn't make this a "Breakfast ft Tiffany's" situation. Poor kitty.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated. Let me know what you think!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is really happening. I can't believe the speed with which I'm updating at the moment. 
> 
> What a crazy week this has been, right? I haven't watched this much TV (actual TV, no streaming) in years! But I'm also so so so relieved.

The cat was nestled against his back. And, to be fair, it wasn’t half as bad as he’d expected. Even in the oncoming heat, the furry warmth was kind of calming as he lay there in his bed, tablet in front of him as he did his best to plan the lessons for the day.

He’d set the alarm early just so he could do this now. He wasn’t making much headway, but at least he’d managed to set up a schedule for that day and make sure everything was in place.

The cat stretched behind him, so her entire body was flush against his back. “So, when are you going to do this? Have your kids? I would like to be prepared?” he asked, looking over his shoulder at the golden paw hovering on the edge of his vision. The pressure of it was already getting to him. How could he be responsible for something like this?! “And why the hell didn’t this Miller woman get you neutered? That’s insane.”

She meowed in response, flipped over and headed for the top of the bed.

“I really shouldn’t let you sleep in here, you know? It’s very unsanitary.”

Another high-pitched sound that made him laugh. “Right. So you’re getting your own bed for those kittens, okay? I’m not doing this with between five and fifteen or twenty furballs in here. You’d kill me if I rolled over them and squished one of them.” She was close to him now, her face hovering over his, so close their noses were almost touching. One false move and she’d scratch his eyes out. Literally. “Just saying.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “Neither of us would want that.”

How had this happened again? How, within a day of teaching, had he not only adopted a very pregnant cat, but had also screamed at his boss like a complete lunatic? It really _was_ a good thing nobody from his former life knew how he was handling himself here. The alarm on his phone went off. The time for lying around was over. And yet he couldn’t resist, picking up the ginger furball and holding her in his lap for just another moment. “So I guess this really is us. What do you think, Mrs Miller’s cat?”

The response was another bit of purring, then he leapt off his bed to make her way to the bathroom where he kept the litterbox he had bought last night along with a whole assortment of cat supplies, which had thrown a massive dent into his budget. He hadn’t exactly come here with nothing. After his mother’s death, he hadn’t touched the couple of thousand pounds she left him, but with a new job and moving to another country, he was burning through a lot more of his savings than he’d hoped to.

Well, that couldn’t be helped for now. He would just have to push through until his paycheck arrived. He was used to living on a tight budget after all.

It was strange how used he’d gotten to this school already. After only a day, he mostly knew his way around. He found his way to the Music Room without a problem, ordered a couple of piano strings from his phone and got his electric piano set up before the first students had even arrived.

He was just pushing the broken piano to the side of the room, grateful for the wheels beneath it, when he heard Rey’s voice behind him. “You’re early!”

“I like to be prepared,” he said, looking at her over his shoulder. She was leaning in the doorway again, just like she had the day before, only that this time there weren’t any students around who were ready to make fun of him as he fussed over a broken piano.

“Yes, I get that.” She pushed herself away from the doorframe and started moving towards him. “Didn’t feel like joining us last night?”

She’d been there too? He shook his head and fumbled for the electric cord. “Something came up,” he said evasively, unsure about how much she actually wanted to know and how insane he wanted to look in front of her. He wasn’t in the mood for making a fool out of himself two days in a row.

“Alright…” she cleared her throat and hovered awkwardly by the piano for a moment while he knelt down to plug it in. He’d just have to get some duct tape or something so this cord didn’t start becoming a security risk. He would have to deal with fourteen-year-olds in about twenty minutes after all.

“Listen. Armitage.” She sounded dead serious and as he turned around and saw the small frown on her face, he knew that he wasn’t going to like what she was going to say next. “I was new here once, too. And I get it. I came here and didn’t know anybody, not even my dad, really. But it’s hard to get into contact with new people when you’ve already been here a couple of weeks.”

Was she seriously telling him he was already close to losing every opportunity to making friends here? Not that he needed any… He sighed and rubbed his neck. Fine, if she wanted to do this. “Where are you from, then?”

“Small town in Oxfordshire.”

He nodded. He’d placed her somewhere around that area based on her accent. “Right.” He was in no mood to start bonding again, but he got what she was saying. He pulled up the ancient, creaky piano stool and sat down. Just for something to do. He seriously didn’t want to go into detail. He’d freaked out the previous night, had made a fool of himself in front of Dameron, and he couldn’t let that happen again. And that was that. “I get what you’re saying. I really do.” He looked up at her as she was standing over him with her tote bag slung over her shoulder. She hadn’t said why she’d come here, but he had the strange feeling that her story wasn’t a particularly happy one either.

And that was something he didn’t want to know anything about. He was not her friend. He opened his mouth, about to tell her so, when he spotted someone walking past the wide open door. He thought he saw Dameron, head bent low over his notebook. Was this really worth it? Opening up? Accepting his life here even a little bit? “But there was an emergency and I had to deal with it.” He cleared his throat. “It was nothing personal or anything that I didn’t show up.”

He avoided her piercing gaze and instead pulled out his tablet and placed it on the music rack.

“Try to come to the football match, then,” she said. “Poe always makes an effort to get everyone as involved as possible. Because he’s very involved with everything around here himself.”

Tentatively he looked up at her and she put a hand to her hip. “Yes. Maybe. I’ll see what I can do.

“I mean it, don’t let him down again.”

He’d completely forgotten how loud eight graders could be. Puzzled, he stared at the sixteen or so students chatting animatedly, unwilling to settle down. He really, really should have brought extra tasks. Maybe bombard them with worksheets or something. Anything.

Clearing his throat, he stood up, hands clasped behind his back as he frowned down at the first one. Dark, tousled hair, light blue eyes. Mark. Mark … Something.

“What?” The boy opened his eyes wide. “I didn’t do anything!”

Shaking his head, Armitage looked at the next student, his pulse already starting to race and trying to ignore the urge to run. Or to slam his tablet on his desk. Or wish he were back in London at rehearsals. He could deal with the noise of actors far better and – no! No, he wouldn’t think that way! “Quiet!” he barked, to no avail. The students didn’t notice him. They just kept chatting, especially the two girls at the back. One of them, a black girl with long braids, had been the only one to answer his first question correctly, but now he’d even lost her.

What should he do? If someone walked past the door and heard this enormous noise, he was as good as fired. He knew it.

“Mr Hux!” another girl, tall for her age with sweeping brown hair had raised her hand.

He shook his head, unwilling to acknowledge her when the rest of the class clearly hadn’t settled down yet. Couldn’t this lesson be over already? “Quiet!” he shouted again, his voice carrying over the noise, but it was no use. He clasped his hands even tighter when the girl spoke up again. Jamie. Was that her name?

“Mr Hux, do you have a girlfriend?”

Well, this was it. There was no chance he’d get these kids to shut up. He moved over to the piano, shoulders straight, eyes fixed already on the keys. He didn’t have to look up the notes. He knew them by heart. Without pausing to acknowledge the girl who had shouted at him, he sat down and started playing, his fingers flying over the keys rapidly, first softly, then with more and more ferocity, the melody immediately seizing him, calming him.

And they were silent after just a few notes. He had done it.

He never looked up, just kept his eyes focused on his hands, on the black and white beneath his fingertips.

Taking a deep breath, he looked up at them to see the students staring at him. “Do you recognize that piece?”

The boy, Nick, the one sitting next to Mark, raised his hand. “Yes, that one was in the first Johnny English movie! Is that why you picked it?” 

What had he expected? That these children would recognize _Ode to Joy,_ arguably one of the best pieces of music ever composed?! “No, it-“

Nick was lucky enough that the bell rang at this and Armitage felt his shoulders slump as all the students jumped up and headed for the door. He was exhausted already. After the first lesson of the day.

Wiping his hands over his eyes, he remained seated at the piano. Who was he kidding? He was no good at this. A heavy weight seemed to rest on his shoulders, as he picked up his tablet to write down a couple of notes and to avoid looking at his students. He hadn’t just failed. He had failed _them_. What a disaster these past two days had been.

“I really like Beethoven.” It was one of the girls who had sat at the back. She was smiling awkwardly at him, hands deep in her pockets. “Are we going to talk about him?”

Armitage nodded. “That was the plan. To talk about the great composers.” He paused, looking at her intently. Somehow he hadn’t expected a student of this school to approach him like this. Clearing his throat, he stood up. “Do you play an instrument?”

She nodded, and as she stood there, her hand hovering over the keys, he found himself smiling. Gosh, why hadn’t he made a bigger effort to learn those names? “Piano, too.”

“Maybe you can play something in front of the class at some point.”

Her eyes widened, then she returned his smile shyly. “Yeah, maybe. I gotta go. Thanks, Mr Hux.”

“Sure. Take care.” Watching her go made him feel relieved. This lesson hadn’t gone completely to waste then. Something had come from it. Even if it had taken him putting himself in the spotlight. Even if he’d given up on teaching and chosen to perform instead. No, the lesson hadn’t been a disaster. He had been.

The rest of the day passed by a lot better, but the bitter taste at the back of his throat remained as he taught lesson after lesson, getting the increasing feeling that he was about to completely lose his grip on the students. And what then? These weren’t the children he had taught first in that secluded private school. This was real. These students were the way children were supposed to be, but just a bit of noise and chaos were enough to unsettle him. What was he supposed to do?

Swallowing hard, he stuffed his tablet into his bag at the end of the last lesson. The seniors were already filing out. This time around he had actually managed to get everything done he’d meant to, but as the last student filed out through the door, he was left with a sense of having lost this battle despite everything. How could the second day be worst than the first? In what universe was that normal? In what universe was that fair?

He grabbed his things. It was high time he got home. Everything had been so hectic these past few days he barely had time to get everything done he’d meant to. And, most of all, he couldn’t wait to get away from this place. A place of failure.

Armitage didn’t look at the door to the Teacher’s Lounge on his way out and he avoided looking at the secretary through the glass door on his way out. The fellow seemed nice enough, but Armitage spotted him talking to Dameron, and Poe Dameron was probably the last person he wanted to see today.

Instead he focused on his schedule. On the things he still needed to get done and the order in which he had to do them. Efficiency was key to forgetting how oppressive this building felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hux needs a hug. He really does. Are there any teachers around? 
> 
> I have to admit, I'm not completely familiar with the American school system, so if there's any discrepancy, blame it on the teacher from Germany who tries to get things right. But I guess teaching experiences don't vary that much? I definitely remember my first few weeks at the job. Too much information? Probably.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter you will find a football game, a dog and a piano.

** Chapter 7 **

“Mr Dameron, is that Beebee?”

The little corgi wagged his tail at Kim, one of the more talented soccer players at this school. Not long now and Poe would have to pick Beebee up if he didn’t want him to lick every single calf he came accross. There were too many students gathered here already. “Yes, that’s Beebee.”

She came closer and knelt, looking at the dog with particular interest. “He’s so cute!”

Beebee gave a high-pitched bark, then threw himself at Kim’s feet. The Sophomore laughed and started patting the dog, who happily wriggled about, stretching his neck for the girl to scratch his throat. Beebee trusted so easily, it was insane. And Poe had only just gotten out of his car. The game hadn’t even started yet. “Listen, I have to meet up with Mrs Tico.”

“Oh,” Kim nodded at him and came to her feet again. “Alright. Thanks, Mr Dameron!” And with that she hurried off to join a group of chattering girls heading towards the stands.

“You’d run off with literally anyone, wouldn’t you, Beebee?”

But Beebee wasn’t even looking at him. Instead, he had his gaze fixed on the retreating girl, his bushy tail wagging happily. “Okay, I get it.”

Poe locked his car and started towards the bleachers on one side of the field. Their team hadn’t even arrived yet, and Rose was nowhere to be seen, but he spotted Finn sitting on the lowest bench, buried again in his copy of _Lord of the Rings._ Chad was sitting next to him, listening to Rey. Taking another look around, he saw that half the school had turned out and for a brief moment he wondered if he should have made sure these people gave donations to the school, but he figured the measures he and Leia had decided to undertake would have to do.

Rey spotted him and waved him over, grinning broadly. “Hey! There’s my two favourite guys.”

Chad grunted and Poe saw Finn smile into his book. “Are you done?” Poe asked walking over to them with Beebee trotting happily beside him.

“Almost!” Rey laughed, picking up Beebee before he could even attempt jumping onto her lap. “Hey, baby Beebee!”

“Rose still not in favour of you guys getting a dog?”

“No,” Rey said with a sigh, happily burying her face in Beebee’s hair. “She really doesn’t.” But she was laughing again, and Beebee happily started licking her face. “Oh, she doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

“Leia’s not coming?” Chad asked, his deep rumble easily drowning out Rey’s squeals as Beebee licked her mouth.

“No,” Poe shoved his hands into his pockets. “She has her brother over for dinner tonight.” The truth was, he’d been kind of worried about her these past few weeks. She was pal and seemed distracted some of the time and he didn’t like it one bit. At least he’d managed to persuade her to take it easy that weekend. But this was not the time or place to discuss this. Not with so many ears ready to listen in. “I’m gonna head over into the changing rooms, see if Rose needs any more help. Can Beebee stay with you?”

“Duh…” Rey said, grinning up at him.

Finn raised his head, turning to look at her. “You really need a pet, girl,” he said. “Do you need me to talk to Rose on your behalf?” His laugh was as contagious as ever and Rey only shrugged. He turned to get back to his book, when his eyes fell on something behind Poe. “Oh, _there_ _’_ _s_ Armitage.”

Indeed there was. Poe hadn’t seen him up close in days and he was both surprised and alarmed at the sudden jolt somewhere in the vicinity of his navel when he saw Hux walking towards them, still wearing one of those crisp white shirts and expensive jeans. He was steering towards him. “Hey.”

“Armitage,” Poe said, watching Finn close his book again and patting the empty seat next to him. “I, uhm,” Poe threw a quick look at his watch and took a deep breath. “I’ll be back in a few.” As soon as he turned around, he heard Finn pick up a conversation with Hux and his insides churned once more. “Has that cat book been any good yet?”

Armitage watched as Poe started for the changing rooms. “Uh, what?” he asked, turning to look at Finn as Rey kept talking to the massively tall teacher, who rarely seemed to speak at all. But he replied, even held the corgi when Rey had to tie her shoe.

“I asked if you managed to take anything useful from that cat book?” Finn had put his red paperback on the bench to his left.

“Oh… right. Well, I read a few basics.”

“Huh… you know I could look up another book for you?”

Armitage scratched his neck and shrugged. “It’s alright. I believe we’ll be okay.” W _e._ Had he seriously just referred to himself and the cat as _we?_ If that didn’t show anything was up, he didn’t know what was. He turned around to look at the students and parents sitting behind him. “Is this school’s team any good?” he asked.

“I wouldn’t know. Haven’t heard much about them.”

“Which should tell you exactly all you need to know,” Rey said, leaning forward and looking at him. They hadn’t talked since their short conversation in the Music Room on Tuesday. To be fair, Armitage hadn’t talked to a lot of colleagues, and he had pondered blowing this off as well. But a short trip to the bookstore and a quick chat with Finn the previous day had convinced him that it really might not be all bad. Just a few hours, then he’d be back in the safety of his home. “You have a cat?” Rey asked. As though the corgi had heard, his head snapped around to stare at Armitage.

“More or less.” He still wasn’t entirely sure. Was a cat that had been forced upon him by his apartment and a vet really his? When did having a pet in your home feel like it belonged to you anyway? “She showed up and I couldn’t get rid of her.”

“Hm,” Rey frowned at him, then she nodded. “Fair enough. What’s her name?”

“Uhm-“ He broke off when he heard his name whispered behind him. He turned to look around, but all he saw were the students with their phones out. If one thing was absolutely the same all over the world, it really was how obsessed they all were with social media. Boy, was he relieved he’d never really gotten into that, even though most others in his line of work did. He spotted one of the older boys, the one who barely seemed to listen to anything that happened in class, point at something on his friends’ phone, while, two rows in front of him, three girls were taking a selfie. No doubt the older boys would be right in the shot.

“Armitage?”

He whirled around. “What?”

“Your cat. What’s her name?” Rey was smiling at him now and somehow that smile was harder to take than her condescension had been.

Now what? Was he supposed to make a name up on the spot? This was weird. He really should have stayed home. Had Finn even told these people he would be joining them? “Cat.”

Finn grunted beside him. “You’ve been watching too many movies.”

“What do you mean?” Armitage frowned at him.

“You haven’t seen _Breakfast at Tiffany_ _’_ _s_? The girl calls her cat ‘Cat’.”

He felt the heat rising to his face and quickly turned to look back at the playing field, where the Cheerleaders had started their warm-ups. “No, I’ve seen it.” And he hated the comparison. It wasn’t as though he’d had a lot of say in the matter. The cat had shown up, made herself at home and he was left to deal with it. The girl had made the wrong choice at every turn. That wasn’t him. He hadn’t had much of a choice. Staying in Britain seemed foolish after what had happened with his father. He doubted he’d be able to forget that fight anytime soon and he had no desire whatsoever to be near him again. Even as close as a couple of hundred miles didn’t seem to be enough. “Shouldn’t the game have started by now?” he asked, looking at his watch and ignoring the loud giggling behind him.

They lost. Of course they did, but Poe knew that Rose’s frown was more for show than anything else. The team needed to see it, needed to know that they had to be better next time around. He’d spent the entire game sitting next to Rey, talking to her, watching the defeat of the team unfold and avoided looking at Hux. The new teacher had, after all, made in painfully clear that he had no interest in socialising more than strictly necessary. Not once had Hux shown up in the Teacher’s Lounge.

The team, which some headmaster back in the day insisted be named _Rebels_ , was trotting down the pitch, about to get changed while the parents and other watchers started packing up. God, he was relieved this was over. And he knew it wasn’t Rose’s fault. She was an excellent coach, but most of the kids on the team were new and barely had any experience at all. She’d insisted on giving them all a fair chance, and here they were. Well, at least they hadn’t lost as disastrously at last time. That ought to count for something.

Rose threw him a pained grin as she approached them once the last kid had vanished into the changing rooms. “You guys go ahead, I still have to lock up and everything.”

Nodding, Rey got up and kissed Rose on the cheek. “This wasn’t half bad, you know?”

Rose laughed, pinching Rey’s side. “Thanks for the lie.”

“I’d better get going,” Hux said. He looked strained. The first week was never easy, and he deserved some rest, still, Poe wondered what it would take to get him to stay. A few times he’d walked by his classroom this week, and every single time Hux had looked tired and never once had he smiled at the students. Where was the relaxed, smiling man he’d first met in Leia’s office? Somehow Poe doubted that guy was too far away.

“You’re not coming?” Finn asked instead of him and for a brief moment Poe wondered if Rey had even invited Hux to come as well. She didn’t seem too fond of him after all.

“No, I really have to go. Thanks for the talk, though.” Hux stood up and nodded at the others. “I’ll see you on Monday. Have a nice evening.” His hands fidgeted at his sides for a moment, as though impatient to be shoved into the pockets again, but instead Hux just turned around, heading back to the parking lot.

Poe heard Rose sigh, but he didn’t look at her leaving. “I gotta go. See you guys back at our place.”

Despite everything he felt a twinge in the pit of his stomach. Hux didn’t seem like the kind of person who made friends easily, and that was fine, really, but Poe couldn’t shake the feeling that something was eating away at him. After all, Hux had chosen to be here. He’d not only taken a job as a teacher, but moved half-way around the world to do it, for whatever reason there might be.

“Well, at least he came.” Rey said. She was standing beside him now. “Sorry, Poe.”

Poe couldn’t help but frown at her. What business did she have feeling sorry for him? Did he look that desperate? And desperate for what exactly?

Chad let out a low grunt. “I have to go, too,” he said. “Dinner.”

“Yeah, give my love to Malla.” Finn picked up the book and shoved it into his messenger bag. “And tell her she ordered those books a week ago, will you?”

Chad grunted in response and started following Hux along with the rest of the viewers. The opposing team was already on its way out, cheering loudly and grinning from ear to ear.

“It’s unbelievable how little that guy talks and how much he says despite it all,” Finn said, making Poe grin.

“Poe, do you want your dog back?”

Poe nearly flinched and took the leash from Rey. Beebee looked like he was about ready to start running on the field himself. It was insane how patient this dog could be during a game, and how much he needed to move around at the same time. “Yeah. Listen, you go ahead, I’m gonna take Beebee for a short walk.”

“Got the poop bags?” Finn grinned at him and Poe shrugged.

“About five in each pocket.”

There was a serenity in the air which only an empty campus held. He strolled past the main entrance and over the short stretch of burnt grass on his way to the side door through which he entered most days. Everything was calm, the stress of the week gone the moment the last student had left the premises.

Beebee had done his business almost the minute they had left the field, but Poe felt bad enough for not having walked him as much as he could have this week. And so he kept walking now, happy to have his companion by his side as their feet brushed the dead grass. “You’d make a pretty good security guard, you know that?” Poe joked and pulled up short when he heard something. A familiar melody.

With a frown he looked around and, sure enough, the window of the Music Room wide open. Tentatively Poe approached, Beebe, his ears pointed up into the air like antennas. He hadn’t listened to the song in ages, he knew it, even if he couldn’t name it or place it in context. He felt the wave-like melody reverberating through his chest as the music became slowly louder. He peered through the wide open window and felt his face flush the moment he saw Hux sitting at the nondescript electronic piano, eyes on the keys, back straight and a thin smile on his lips. There it was. The first real, genuine smile since Tuesday. His hair shimmered golden in the setting sun and the shirt seemed to be even whiter, a sharp contrast to the dark brown backdrop of the door. Swallowing hard, he got an inkling of what Rey had meant when she said _I_ _’_ _m sorry._

This was a very bad idea, though.

Poe knew he always wore his heart on his sleeve, but never before had he, even for a moment, considered letting that show in school. This was not a good place. And it wasn’t at all likely Hux was even remotely interested.

And yet he didn’t move away. Not even when Hux’s face turned and his fingers halted, the last notes still hanging in the air.

He dropped his hands and sat up even more straight. “Poe?” The smile vanished and was instantly replaced by a scowl.

“Hey,” Poe said, leaning against the windowsill. So much for a quick exit. He couldn’t say he was too impressed by the creases between Hux’s eyebrows. “Don’t stop on my accord.”

Hux cleared his throat. “I thought I’d check up on that old piano there,” he pointed at something next to the window and Poe leaned closer, taking a good look at the dark instrument against the wall. “The strings arrived today.”

He needed a moment to process this. Which strings? And then he remembered. The keys didn’t work. “Right. Some are broken, right?”

Hux nodded and got up from the stool. “I have to see if I can fix it. I’ve never done this alone. If it doesn’t work, I’m just going to have to keep using my own.” He tapped on something on the piano, probably turning it off. “This one might yield better results in any case.”

“I’m sorry,” Poe said. “We really need to find more money for your department.” _Or for any other department._ He held back a sigh.

No comment. No response but Hux approaching him, his green eyes fixed on him.

“How was your first week?”

Hux paused. Hesitating. Thinking. His face showed no emotion. Even the scowl had vanished as he considered Poe. How were the kids loud in his classes, when he looked at them like this?! “It went alright,” Hux said, his tone as crisp as his shirt.

Poe didn’t believe a word of it. But if Hux wanted to put it that way, then it was his business. “I liked the song you played just now.”

“Do you know it?”

“Somehow… I can’t place it though. Mozart?”

The glint of amusement in Hux’s eyes was the first indicator in almost a week that he had a sense of humour after all. “Almost,” Hux mused, cocking his head slightly and a soft smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “But more modern. It’s from _Phantom._ ”

Poe couldn’t help it. The laugh burst out of him like an explosion. He felt Beebee’s paw patting his foot and he picked up the dog immediately. It was a reflex he still had to work on. “Of the Opera?”

The smile widened ever so slightly. “The one.”

“I didn’t take you for a Musical Theatre fan.” Poe watched with interest as a slight blush crept up Hux’s neck and turned his cheek slightly pink.

“You could say that.” It sounded more like a musing than anything else. Like there was something more there. Something Hux didn’t want to share at this moment.

“What’s it called again? That song you just played?”

“ _Angel of Music_. Do you know it?”

“I saw the play once. Ages ago.” Beebee was making himself known more now, stretching his neck to nibble at Poe’s chin. “I’m heading over to Rey’s. Come along, will you? It’ll be fun. And don’t tell me you actually want to spend tonight repairing an ancient piano.”

There it was again. That smile which softened the entire face in the blink of an eye. “Thank you, but I believe I really should get home. I’m not even sure I should be here right now.” He threw a longing look over his shoulder at the instrument standing here as though it were waiting for him. Poe could only imagine what it must feel like to me a musician and not to have your own instrument at home. “I’m worried about the cat.”

“Ah.” Poe nodded, putting Beebee down again. Immediately the dog started whining again. He wasn’t patient. Not at all. “Still pregnant?”

“Very much so. The doctor said it might happen this week. I don’t know.” He wiped his face.

Poe nodded and cleared his throat. “Listen, let me help you carry that piano to your car. I’ll buy another one for class tomorrow. You’ve been doing this for a week now.” He _would_ do it. It was like asking Rose to buy French dictionaries for students or Rey to bring her own beakers and Bunsen Burners. But judging by the way Hux’s expression changed, he got the feeling that Hux didn’t wholly like the idea. And so he added quickly: “Doesn’t mean I don’t want you to fix the old one. But it doesn’t hurt to have two, does it? In fact, come with me so I pick the right one.”

Hux scoffed and nodded. “Fine. But don’t you have an appointment with your friends?”

“They probably started without me already. Come on. Beebee doesn’t even hate cats.”

For a moment there it looked like Hux was going to decline, and Poe dreaded his own reaction. He didn’t want to read anything into this, least of all into his own feelings, but it was hard not to, when he found he couldn’t help but grin when Hux nodded, eyes still on him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which things get weird.

** Chapter 8 **

Armitage Hux’s place was sparsely furnished. And that was putting it nicely. It was little more than a kitchenette with a small island, a table and a chair. The door to the bedroom with the neatly made bed stood open as well as the door to the small bathroom. There was no TV, no real desk. The only thing Poe saw out was a laptop on the small kitchen table and a kettle on the stove. There wasn’t even a coffee maker.

He watched as Hux strode over to the window, to the spot where Poe himself would have placed a small dining table and set down the piano stand. “Thank you for helping me,” Armitage said as Poe moved over to place the piano on top of the stand.

“Sure.”

Beebee was so close by him, it was almost freaking him out. Normally Beebee would claim any apartment he got into the moment he set a foot in there. But Beebee’s side was almost touching his leg now. “Where’s your cat?”

“Probably in the bedroom.” Hux wiped his forehead and walked over to one of the doors. “She’s in her box. It’s okay.” He cleared his throat and then turned to look at Poe again. “Can I get you anything?”

Poe refrained from looking at his watch. He had already told Rey he was running late. She wouldn’t be angry if he didn’t show up anytime soon. Or at all. “Sure. Need some help assembling a couple of bookshelves?”

“Very funny, Dameron.”

Poe’s eyebrows rose as Hux moved over to the kitchen. Dameron. Hadn’t they talked about this? But somehow Poe found he didn’t mind. The way Hux said it, it didn’t sound half bad.

Hux had indeed stowed everything away neatly. He had a total of four identical mugs sitting neatly in one of the cabinets, right next to a very small stash of plates, a couple of water glasses and a fancy-looking set of wine glasses.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much.”

“Some tea, then?” Poe pointed at the kettle and pulled one of the two bar stools up. “How long have you lived here?”

“Three weeks now.” Hux picked up two of the mugs, set them on the counter and then proceeded to fill the kettle without looking at Poe. “I haven’t gotten around to getting everything set up yet.”

“Huh,” Poe said, leaning on the counter as Beebee finally started moving around, nose flat on the tiles as he slowly shuffled about the room. “Do you need any help setting stuff up? I mean it, I could help.”

At this, Hux eyes flickered up for a brief moment, then he opened a drawer to take out a large, white and blue tea pot that looked like it belonged to an elderly woman. With its delicate flowery pattern it looked no bit like the rest of Hux’s otherwise straightforward and simple style. “Don’t you have better things to do with your time, Vice Principal?”

Poe scoffed and turned to watch Beebee carefully snuffle his way into the bedroom. “Is that okay?”

“Hm… you know I have a cat, who, I’m pretty sure, is going to abandon the box I set up for her to give birth to a litter of kittens in my bed. I don’t mind a dog.”

He laughed. “See, you’re funny.”

“I never thought that was up for debate.” There was a soft twinkle in his eyes as he briefly looked up again before pouring 4 teaspoons of dried mint into a strainer.

“Well, you haven’t given me a lot of chance to find that out.” Immediately he sensed that he might have gone too far. Hadn’t he just made a point of telling himself that whatever Hux did or didn’t do was none of his business? That he would accept Hux’s decision to stay away from everybody else? Biting his lip, he watched as Hux poured boiling water through the strainer into the tea pot and Poe couldn’t help but ask something else: “Why are you avoiding the Teacher’s Lounge?” He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know.

“I am not too good at socialising,” Hux said curtly, setting the two mugs between them. “People are not my strong suit.”

“You’re talking to me though, aren’t you? And you’re talking to Finn.”

“Yes, well, you’re my boss.” The words stung a bit, but there was that glint in his eyes again. “And I like books.”

“I figured,” Poe nodded and he folded his hands on the counter. “So, tell me, Armitage Hux who doesn’t like to socialize, why did you become a teacher if people aren’t your strong suit. I don’t believe that, by the way.”

Hux pulled a face and didn’t answer at once. He leaned against the counter from his side and looked at him, the green eyes surveying him. “Why do you want to know?” he asked finally.

Now what? “Because, as Finn might have told you, I’m nosy. And I can keep secrets, so if you may look at this as a confidential talk.”

“I was already doing that.” Hux said. He looked into the pot, pondering for a moment.   
His hands were splayed on the table top, long, elegant fingers that were capable of producing wonderful melodies. Poe swallowed hard. This was hard. And seeing Hux struggle wasn’t exactly easy either. “My father insisted I go to university,” Hux said, as though weighing every single word carefully. “I qualified for a good school and I went. But I wanted to do something meaningful with my life without… upsetting my father. And so I went to teaching first of all. He had high expectations for me, but this career choice was least upsetting to him.” He bit his lips, eyes still on the tea pot. “And I dropped it as soon as I could to annoy him.”

Well, if that wasn’t intriguing! Poe found himself leaning forward to keep asking questions that were bound to make Hux uncomfortable, Hux asked: “Do you take sugar?”

So much for that. But Poe made a mental note to breach the subject again. Choosing a career so as not to upset a parent and then leaving that path to annoy the very same parent was more than Poe would have expected. But at least it explained some of it. Had Hux come here to annoy his father even more? Or was Hux even more spiteful than that? “Nah, I’m good. Thanks.” He leaned back slightly to peer into the bedroom. Beebee still hadn’t emerged. “Beebee would’ve made a sound if your cat was ready to eat him, wouldn’t he?”

That produced a frown on Hux’s face. He pushed away from the counter and walked over to the wide-open door. His slim figure was only accentuated by the white shirt, and Poe couldn’t help but look him up and down. No harm there. He could look, couldn’t he?

“Oh.” Hux stood stock still, standing halfway into the next room. “Oh shit!”

Poe was on his feet and halfway to the bedroom before he even noticed that his heart had missed a beat. “What?!”

But Hux was already on his knees, eyes wide as he stared down at the open box by the window. The box with the ginger cat in it. He was right next to Beebee, who was lying there, head on his paws, watching the proceedings. Poe needed a moment to realize what he was seeing. Hux on the floor, even paler than usual, he and Beebee staring at the cat in a box. The cat which was busy licking at something. Something tiny and squealing. “Oh.” So this was it? The babies? “Wow…” he approached carefully, kneeling next to Beebee, staring down at the wet blob nuzzled against the cat. “Do we need to do anything?” he asked, amazed at what he was seeing. There were already two, distinctly cleaner tiny creatures writhing in their mother’s fur.

Mother. This was it?! A cat giving birth? Without giving a sound? Without letting them know?

“I don’t thinks so,” Hux breathed looking more than flustered. He quickly opened the buttons at his wrist and rolled up his sleeves. “Oh God, why was I even at the game?” he whispered, leaning in to touch the cat’s fur. “Hey, you’re okay, Mrs Miller’s Cat?”

“Mrs Miller’s Cat?” Poe asked, unable to look away from the cat slowly but surely freeing the blob from the slime sticking to it. It was just as ginger as its mother, whereas the other two were deep brown with only touches of orange in their fur. Why wasn’t he disgusted by this? Shouldn’t he be? But he couldn’t help stare at this. At this cat doing this all on her own.

“Mrs Miller was the woman who lived here before me.”

“Ah.” Poe remembered. Just as he remembered the panic and delight with which Hux had told him about the cat he had inherited from the apartment. “Mrs Miller’s Cat…” Poe whispered. “That’s a long-ass name, Hugs.”

Hux’s head snapped around, his brows knitted so tightly together Poe almost laughed. “What?”

“Sorry,” he said, still fighting the smile. “Hey, Beebee, no!” Beebee had just gotten to his feet to cross the distance to the cat. But there was no sign of aggression there… just the tail raised high, the nose twitching as he sniffed once and then lay down again, clearly fascinated by what was going on here.

And then his phone rang, the shrill tone more than unwelcome in this situation, when his heart was pumping and his eyes were burning from staring as Mrs Miller’s Cat kept cleaning her kittens. “Dang it,” he whispered, picking up with an apologetic look at Hux. “Finn. Hi.”

“Poe, where are you? You said you’d be late, but this is extra late.”

“Yeah, I got caught up. Listen, I’m not coming, okay? Armitage’s cat is having her kittens.”

There was a moment of silence during which Poe exchanged a look with Armitage. A look which went right through his bones. His breath hitched and he cleared his throat to mask it. What the hell? He hadn’t been this flustered in a while. This was just the excitement about the kittens. “You’re there?” Finn asked and Poe was almost sure he heard the smile.

S _hut up, Finn._ Poe looked down at his shoes. “Yeah. Give my love to everyone, okay?”

“Okay. Have fun, Poe. Good luck with the kittens!”

When he finally managed to look up again, he spotted Hux leaning over the cat again, staring wide-eyed at the babies. Beebee was so close to him that they were almost touching. A nest of gold in the evening light.

He put his phone back into his pocket. “Hang on, I’m gonna get the tea.”

Dameron thought of everything Armitage had forgotten about in this mess of wailing kittens and a cat so brave and strong Armitage felt his own body tense up every single time he watched the cat give birth, work away at the kitten and then start all over again.

It was Dameron who brought the tea. Dameron to bring water for the cat and the dog. Dameron to look up things on his phone that might go wrong, but didn’t. Dameron who turned on the light when it was already pitch black outside.

When, after about two more hours, the cat was just lying there on her side, relaxed and breathing normally again, when the dog had curled up on Armitage’s lap and the kittens were happily suckling, Armitage slowly but surely felt the tension leave his own body.

“This was something.” Dameron was leaning against the wall, a mug of what must now be cold tea in his big hands.

Armitage chuckled, resting his head against the bed post to look up at the ceiling and the spot of darker white against the rest. Someone had done a really bad job painting this. He looked at it every single morning when he woke up and hated that his eyes searched the ceilings for it. Right now it didn’t matter. “No kidding.”

“You’re a father of seven now. Congratulations.”

To think that a week ago, he had been busy planning his first lessons. That there had been nothing but him and the piano and his few belongings in this apartment. Now there were seven kittens and one big cat, a dog and Poe Dameron in here. “I’m sorry you missed dinner.”

Dameron shook his head. He had his phone in his hands and was apparently busy typing. “It’s alright. But would it be alright if I ordered a pizza? I’m starving.”

He actually wanted to stay even longer? First he’d stayed when this thing with the cat started, now he was offering to buy dinner? What was up with that?

Something warm and wet touched his hand and Armitage nearly flinched back before her realized it was the dog sitting in his lap. An orange light-weight furball. Almost like the cat. And this dog, Beebee, hadn’t even bothered to disturb the cat. How had his day gone from acceptable to this?

“Alright then, I see you’re tired. I’m gonna head out.”

Armitage turned to look at him. Dameron still hadn’t moved. He was just sitting there, looking at him, his eyes darker than usual and that look was like a sharp, painful stab in his chest. It was familiar enough, and the memory that sensation ensued made him recoil. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Dameron to leave outright. Dameron hadn’t been anything but nice and helpful.

Armitage wiped a hand over his forehead. “Thank you for helping.”

That brought on a smile. A smile which only made it harder to look away. “Sure thing. I’ll pick you up tomorrow afternoon, okay?”

Right. The piano. Why was Dameron so obsessed with helping him? When Dameron stretched out his hand and Beebee yawned and left Armitage to trot over to Dameron, Armitage cocked his head. “Do you pick up all your new colleagues?” It was a stab in the dark, but Dameron’s laugh was like being lifted up by a warm, powerful wave. And it was pretty dark in here, the feeble light from the single dim light bulb was barely what one might call proper lightning. And if you couldn’t say silly stuff after witnessing a cat giving birth to seven blind, pudgy living creatures, then when?

Dameron winked at him as he got to his feet. “Only when they look like they really need a friend,” he said. “I can show myself out.” He put his hands on his hips and looked down at him, the smile still on his lips. “I’ll be here at three. Thanks for an evening I won’t forget in my life.” He brushed his hand through his hair and for a brief moment Armitage wondered what it would feel like beneath his fingertips. “And bye, Millie.” Dameron waved at the cat, grinning outright now before walking out into the living room, the dog following him, but not without looking back at Armitage a few times.

And then the door closed behind Dameron.

Armitage’s stomach growled and he cursed himself for not letting Dameron order that pizza.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I think this is my first real, intentional slow-burn fic. How do you like it so far? I know... it's painful to watch, right? :-P


	9. Chapter 9

“How’re the blobs?”

“What do you mean?”

“Millie’s kitties?”

“Is that what I’m supposed to call her now? Millie?”

“Makes sense, right? Better than Mrs Miller’s Cat. She’s yours, buddy.”

Buddy. Armitage didn’t think he’d ever been called that his entire life. And the way Dameron said it almost sounded like he meant it. “Yes, I suppose.” To think that he actually owned a pet and her seven babies… Armitage still hadn’t come to grasps with it. Even though the noises they made and the fear of having forgotten something vital had kept him up all night. Tossing from side to side, he had turned on the light every half an hour or so to make sure they were all still okay. That the cat was okay and not giving birth again.

“What do you think of this one?” Dameron stopped in front of the first piano in the store. White, flashy and it looked like a miniature size grand piano standing right in the entry way even before they had even entered the store properly.

Armitage shook his head. “We don’t need that,” he said, pushing past Dameron to head further inside. Dameron had driven them to one of the biggest music stores Armitage had ever set foot in. It had four storeys and he doubted there was an instrument in this world he wouldn’t find in here. He hated stores like this.

“Why not? It looks cool.”

“Something being cool is no reason to buy it,” Armitage said, finding himself ready to slide into a snarl he had no intention of wearing today. He passed his hand over his face. “Let’s get going, alright?”

Dameron raised his eyebrows, but followed him without another word. Luckily they didn’t have to go far. There were shelves upon shelves of sheet music and self-learn books for every instrument imaginable and Hux couldn’t help but keep a look out for something he could play at home. Not that he had much use for paper anymore. Not in that way. Sheet Music took up so much space and he didn’t really need it anymore.

“So what _are_ we looking for, then?”

“Something simple.” They had reached the end of the shelves now and Armitage caught Poe glancing to his right, to the massive display of guitars there. How many were there? About a hundred? More? Black, white, brown… there was even a frivolous pink one with white stars sitting in the lap of a massive doll. Well, if it worked, who was he to argue with the results? He was always glad to see a child picking up an instrument. Even if it was an ugly pink guitar.

Poe’s head turned and he grinned broadly at him. “We’re on a budget, so I’m fine with simple.”

“Didn’t you just want to buy a flashy white grand piano?”

Poe waved him off and strolled over to their left, to the wide aisles and the huge display of electric pianos in all shapes and sizes. “I figured you could buy the flashy one and donate yours to the school.”

“Dameron, I did not bring my own piano with me all the way from London for it to permanently end up in a classroom.”

“I thought you’d already settled on it.”

Armitage bit his lip to keep himself from smiling. His eyes darted from one price tag to the next, looking for the brand he wanted as well as for an appropriate price. “I’m still determined to fix the one that’s there, believe me.”

“I do,” Poe laughed. “See anything you like here?”

These instruments looked okay. Nodding thoughtfully, he approached one at the far end of the aisle, ignoring the shop assistant as he went. The stool was of inferior quality, but they didn’t need to buy it. The one at the school was perfectly sufficient. Without looking at Poe, he sat down, checking that the piano was turned on. Unceremoniously he unplugged the headphone. Those things weren’t much help when you were looking for something to play on in class. He had to make sure the speakers were okay.

“Are you supposed to be doing that?”

Armitage looked up at Poe with a raised eyebrow. One look which earned him a soft chuckle. Poe was good at this. At laughing. At being there. It made Armitage almost regret not showing up in the Teacher’s Lounge all week. But before he could start thinking too much, before Poe could ask anything else, he started playing. It had been one of the songs he’d had to learn to love. It had never resonated with him. Not the lyrics at least. Not until his mother passed away and left him alone with nobody to lean on but this terrible father. The father who had always been in his life, but whose presence had always felt more like a burden than anything else.

“I know that one,” Poe said quietly now and Armitage felt him draw closer, though he never looked up. “It was in that movie, wasn’t it?”

Hux scoffed. “Which one?”

“That Hollywood version of the musical. It wasn’t all that bad. But I guess it’s better when a talented guy sings it. What’s it called? _Bring Him Home?_ ”

God, was he relieved Poe hadn’t paid close attention in the cinema. He’d been in that film, granted as an extra, but still there. Visible for whole two seconds as one of the students defending the barricade. Another moment when his father had been particularly angry with him. “What are you saying, Dameron?” he asked instead, pausing as one of the shop assistants approached them. What was it about this environment that made him want to stop talking about acting? About singing and performing on stage? It was almost as though his father’s words resonated with him even now.

_Humiliating yourself like that._

_Never seen someone so useless._

“Nothing much,” Poe said with a grin that made his eyes shine more brightly. A stark contrast to the words echoing in his brain. And yet this was easy. Losing himself. Playing the notes made him feel like he could lose himself. It was one of the few things his father had approved of. That was, before Armitage had expanded upon this and decided to dive even deeper into this passion and follow in his mother’s footsteps.

“Sir, would you please use the headphones?” The assistant, a tall, middle-aged woman, said. “You’re disturbing the other costumers.”

Poe had his hands on his hips and looked around. “What other costumers?”

Armitage plugged the headphones back in and looked up at Poe with half a grin. “Never mind, this one’s no good anyway.” He doubted any of the students would notice, but he could make out the soft, dull clicking sound with every key he hit. 

“Can I help you at all?”

“No.” Armitage said curtly, getting up again. “Just let me play.”

In the end, after the shop assistant had given up on insisting Hux use the headphones, and after the Music teacher testing about five more pianos, they settled for one that wouldn’t make a massive dent into their budget. The dent would be big enough to be felt though, and Poe dreaded the moment he had to tell Rose she would have to keep using the old French dictionaries for another year. But he had a feeling this was more important.

As he and Hux were lifting the heavy box into Poe’s car, he couldn’t help but peer surreptitiously at Hux. At his barely visible smile.

With a massive huff, Hux leaned against Poe’s car. The flush in his cheeks made Poe grin and he found himself moving closer to him and sitting down on the ledge of his open trunk. “Are you happy now?”

Hux passed his hand over his face and leaned his head against the car to look up at the stark blue sky. “Now?” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Getting there.”

“Playing on about a trillion pianos helps?”

“You could say that.” He was still smiling and put his hand into his pocket. “I could do with a cigarette right about now.”

The question was out before Poe had the time to wrap his tongue around it and hold it back. “Wow, do you smoke after sex, too?”

A low grunt and Armitage looked down at his feet in the elegant leather shoes. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Armitage laughed.

_A_ _ctually, I would._ Boy, was this messed up. But as they stood there, in the blazing sun, Hux’s hair shimmering in all shades of gold, it was hard to not think about it. As he had done last night, Hux had pushed up his sleeves to reveal his smooth forearms, which he now folded in front of his chest.

“Come on, let’s get to school. I need to check up on Millie.” He threw Poe a look and pushed himself away from the car. “And I don’t want to keep you from your boyfriend again.”

“Boyfriend?” Poe asked, watching Hux moving around the car and opening the door to the passenger seat.

“Finn? He was the one who called you last night, wasn’t he?”

“Finn’s not my boyfriend.”

“Ah.” Hux nodded and slipped into to car, but shortly before his head vanished, Poe was sure he caught yet another smile. His heart was hammering now. This was such a bad idea. A terrible idea. But as he closed the trunk and hurried to the front, he remined himself of Beebee smelling a treat.

“We tried it. Once. For a week or so. But it didn’t work out.”

Hux fumbled with his sleeves again, pulling them down and closing the tiny buttons on his wrists. “Ah.”

That again. Those small, precise movements.

Poe swallowed hard and started the car. There were so many in the parking lot, it was insane. Brushing a hand through his hair, he was relieved to have something other to stare at than Hux. He’d never have though that this guy could be his type!

And he hated that he could almost hear Leia recount an ancient proverb, which his father would gladly have echoed. That something he didn’t want to think about wanted what it wanted.

Ridiculous, really.

“Did _you_ leave someone behind? In London, I mean?” he asked and silently added: _Girlfriend, boyfriend, a family of 5, a tiger,_ as he pulled into traffic.

Two hours’ drive.

Only two. And then they would set up the piano and he would drop off Hux. He was just glad Rey had offered to look after Beebee today.

“Just my job,” Hux said after a while.

“What did you do, then? After you quit teaching.”

“Didn’t you try looking it up?”

Poe bit his lip. Yes, he had. He had looked into Hux’s CV again, feeling bad about it the entire time. “You didn’t exactly elaborate.” _Music._ That was it. All Hux had written. And Poe couldn’t help but wonder why on Earth Leia had decided to offer this man the job, to invite him for an interview from across the sea with such a CV.

“No, I did not.” Hux leaned back and out of the corner of his eye Poe watched him stroke his upper lip as he watched out of the windshield. “To be frank, my ex-boyfriend recommended me to the Principal.”

“How come?” Poe asked. So Hux had gotten this job through connections? He frowned at the road as they passed the last few houses before heading onto the highway. It was all he could do, to keep himself from grinning at the word _boyfriend._ What chance did he have, after all? And he really didn’t want to be the reason to make it even harder for Hux to stick around.

Hux let out a long breath. “Confidential?”

“Absolutely.” He dared chance a look at Hux. He was sitting upright, hands folded in his lap, shoulders squared. Like a military marionette. This was so unlike the person Poe had seen last night and all of today. Closed-up. Uncomfortable.

“He’s Principal Organa’s son. I had no idea he was even still in touch with his mother until he offered to call her. They are not on the best of terms.”

Poe nearly choked on his own spit, but he managed to hold in his cough. He’d known Ben Solo back in the day. Back when they went to the same school and Ben was the kind of kid nobody else wanted to play with. Poe had tried for a while, but the snide remarks and unwillingness to talk to anybody had set Ben apart. Everybody, perhaps aside from his parents, had been relieved when Ben went off to college in England never to be seen again.

“Ben Solo’s your ex?”

“Do you know him?”

“Hardly.” He cleared his throat to get rid of the bile in his throat. What business was it of his? No matter how much he wanted to know what Hux had seen in that guy, or why they’d broken up, he didn’t want to completely disrupt this talk. Changing the topic might indeed be the best course of action. “So, what did you do in London? Worked in a music store? Taught piano?”

Silence. That was it. And then Hux said, so quietly it was barely audible over the soft rushing of the AC: “It’s hard to talk about. I miss it.”

“Come on. Confidential, remember?” Poe looked over again and saw that smile again. Hux was slumped back against the seat as he looked out the window, eyes trained on the dried-up bushes up ahead and the tarmac glistening in the searing mid-day heat.

“Another time, maybe. I’m not telling you my newest, best-kept secret until I haven’t eaten.”

What was that, then? A stab in the dark? Was he asking him out? What? Poe bit his lip, ready to say no. To tell Hux this was a really, really bad idea. But then he remembered that it was probably nothing. That Hux was being friendly. The way he could be sometimes. Mostly with Finn. “Right.” Poe said, nodding. “Piano, take you home, have some food. Sounds about right.”

“Are you inviting yourself over, Dameron?”

“Guess I am?” He grinned. First at the road, then at Hux.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't think I could pull this off today, but here we are! Ha! At the end of another chapter! :-D Should I make a playlist to go along with this story? 
> 
> What do you think? Did you like it? Complaints? Wishes? Recommendations?


	10. Chapter 10

If Poe had had any expectations of the day, they would not have included that driving in a car with Armitage Hux was both calming and full of conversation at the same time. They talked about everything and yet nothing at all, but Poe found he was perfectly happy with that, despite this burning desire to tickle more information about his former life out of Hux.

Poe Dameron had never been a particularly patient man, and usually it was hard for him to be in the company of someone who was not particularly forthcoming with information. It was why Finn, who was so open about his thoughts and feelings, had seemed like the perfect guy. And it was also why working with Leia could be exhausting sometimes. Not that Leia was a patient person herself, but she was far more used to sitting at the negotiator table with the council and other people they had to sit down with every other week and it showed. Poe knew he still had a lot to learn in that department, but he found that Hux was not annoyed by his impatience. It was almost as though he wasn’t at all bothered by Poe’s curiosity and not flustered by the questions he occasionally shot at him.

What was your favourite part about living in London?

Public Transport.

Do you have siblings?

Not that I know of.

What’s your favourite food?

As long as it doesn’t take forever to make, I’ll eat anything.

He was never forthcoming with information, but he wasn’t trying too hard to hold anything back. Not really anyway. He gave Poe bits and pieces of information. Nothing that would help him puzzle together the whole picture, but it was enough for now.

When they finally arrived back at Hux’s place, Poe waited in the living room, while Hux took a look at the kittens. Somehow going in there today on his own accord seemed more invasive than it had done the previous evening. Instead, he stood by the piano by the window. This place needed a lot more cheering up, but somehow Poe doubted Hux would get around to doing that anytime soon. He’d been in here for a while now, after all.

“They look okay,” Hux was saying as he walked back into the living room and headed over to the kitchen. “Should I order some food?” He wasn’t looking at Poe.

“Sure.” He cleared his throat. “I don’t want to keep you from anything.”

“You’re not.” He wiped his neck, then moved over to his laptop. “You can take a look at them if you want to. Most of them are sleeping, though.”

“Is that a warning or a promise?”

Hux didn’t react straight away and Poe didn’t check to see if he would. Instead, he proceeded into the bedroom, his eyes sweeping once more over the neatly made bed. His own rarely looked like this. The blanket was never tucked between the mattress and the bed frame. His pillows rarely looked like they had come straight from a hotel brochure and there were always at least two mugs and a pile of about five books on his nightstand. With Hux things were obviously different. This room hardly looked like someone slept in here every night.

No mugs, just one book and a slim e-reader and a massive, poster-sized frame leaning against the wall. It seemed a little out of character that Hux hadn’t hung it yet, Poe thought, but it wasn’t facing the room anyway. Perhaps he hadn’t decided where to hang it yet. Not that that sounded like the Hux he’d gotten to know these past few days.

The soft, high-pitched sound that was barely a meowing sound made him turn his attention back to the box next to the closet door. The little furballs were even smaller than he remembered them, and their mother sleeping on her side, her eyes just as tightly closed as that of her babies who were all huddled closely together and against the belly of their mother. One of the brown ones was craning its tiny head as Poe approached the box and sat down on the pristine tiles. “Aren’t you hungry?” Poe muttered as he sat cross-legged in front of the box. “Did you keep Armitage up all night?” He grinned at the brown one as it opened its teethless mouth to close it around its mother’s teat. It was incredible how quickly this had happened. How overwhelming it had been and still was. He’d barely slept himself that night, excited by what had happened, while Beebee was snuggled up against his side.

“Yes, they did,” Armitage said from the door. “I was thinking about moving the box to the living room, but Millie came in here the first time we met, so I figured … oh well…”

What a softie, Poe thought, looking up at him with a grin. “I wouldn’t have done it any other way. And she seems happy.”

“I’m just glad I moved in in time and opened the window that morning.” He swallowed visibly. “To think she would have had to do this in the street otherwise is not a pleasant notion.”

Poe’s heart leapt at this. Should he get out? Now? Before he did something stupid? Something he might regret? _No, you can do this._

He looked down at the kittens again and leaned against the wall. He’d sat here most of the previous evening. Hour after hour as he watched this miracle unfold. “She’s a lucky girl,” he said quietly.

“She got lucky on so many levels.”

Laughing had always come easy to him, but it was on a whole different level right now. A level he remembered all too well from the first couple of dates with Finn or the one other boyfriend he’d had. “You should make more jokes,” he grinned, his stomach in a highly contradictory knot.

“Why? You seem to like it when I surprise you.”

Their eyes met again and his stomach gave a pleasantly painful twist. The pain only subsided when Armitage looked down at his feet. “I’m gonna freshen up. The pizza should be here in a couple of minutes.”

“Hey, you didn’t even ask me what I wanted.”

“Like I said, I thought you liked surprises.”

Another twinge. A twinge of relief and dread. “Sure do.”

For the millionth time the same thought rushed through his head. _What the_ hell _, Dameron?_ Swallowing hard, he stretched out his hand to brush his finger over the soft hair of the kitten lying on top of all the other. The brown one. The fur was even silkier than he would have thought. Millie blinked as his hand encroached into her space, she lifted her head ever so slightliy, closed her eyes again and then started shifting so she could lick the brown kitten.

Slowly, Poe got up. He might as well lay the table. His eye got caught on the frame leaning against the wall. Hux hadn’t hung it yet, he reminded himself. Who knew if Hux even wanted anybody to see. Poe grinned to himself, imagining a pin-up of some sort. Artistically done, tasteful… but no, that wasn’t Armitage Hux. Not from what Poe had seen so far.

S _o far._

_Don_ _’_ _t kid yourself._

From next door he heard the rushing of water, and before he could stop himself, he crossed the distance between himself and the frame. Slowly, he pushed it away from the wall with his fingertips and he frowned. It was indeed a framed poster. Black and white. Almost like a carefully printed wood-cut. And he remembered it. Remembered that picture from the poster of the show and from many covers of the book. A girl in rags and the title of the show: _Les Mis_ _é_ _rables._ In his mind, Poe added a broom in the girl’s hand as she was standing in a dirty backyard. He’d read the book in his college days and he knew Rose was obsessed with the author. She had good taste, Rose.

Really, this should not have come as a surprise, to find a poster like this in Armitage’s home. After all those show tunes he’d played today and this past week. But this was the only picture in a frame he had seen here yet. From what Poe gathered from the few things Armitage had told him about his father, it seemed logical that he wouldn’t keep a picture of him here. Maybe of his mother, but not the man who had, supposedly, tried forcing a career upon him. But a poster of a show?

He felt eyes lingering on him and immediately knew he’d been caught. There was no use hiding it. Slowly, he leaned the frame back against the wall and turned around to see Armitage standing in the doorway, arms hanging limp at his sides. “I’m sorry,” Poe said quickly. “I was curious.”

Armitage cleared his throat, that delicious blush creeping up his neck again. Only now did Poe see that the tips of his ears had turned pink as well. Luckily the doorbell rang at exactly that moment, delivering them both from the awkward silence. “I’ll get it,” Armitage said, turning his back on Poe and heading back into the living room.

Poe let out a long huff and looked down at the cats. Millie was looking at him now. If he didn’t know any better he would have said accusingly. He shushed at her, then followed Armitage, who was standing by the door, talking to a girl in a baseball cap, whom Poe recognized at once. She had left school the previous year and when her eyes fell upon him, she grinned widely.

“Hey, Mr Dameron!”

“Christine,” he said, wishing he’d remained in the bedroom for just a moment longer. Usually he was always happy to meet former students, but he knew exactly what this situation looked like. “How are you?”

“Good!” She grinned and her eyes flew from him to Armitage and back again. “Saving up for college, you know? I’m not quite there yet.”

Poe nodded, knowing full well that it would take Christine years to save up enough. And she knew it, too. He would have hoped she’d get a scholarship, but that hadn’t played out the way either of them would have hoped, apparently. “Let me know if you need me to write you a letter of recommendation.” Usually the students approached him ahead of time, but Christine hadn’t. Somehow he had supposed she had asked someone else. Maybe Rose. She’d been one of Rose’s favourites.

“Yeah, maybe…” she cleared her throat and looked at Hux again. “Thanks for the tip, anyway.” She managed a smile and looked at Poe. “Gotta get back. See you ‘round Mr Dameron.”

Poe barely had a chance to say goodbye, she was so quick to turn around and hurry back down the stairs to the small red car waiting for her in the street. “Damn it, she was good at school.”

“Not everyone gets the chance they deserve,” Armitage said quietly then walked back inside. “It happens.”

The cynicism was far more bitter than Poe would have expected. “Yes, well…” Poe brushed a hand through his hair. “If I can help her, I will.”

Armitage nodded without looking at him. He put the pizza box on the counter and took plates from one of the cabinets. “I get it.” Clearing his throat, he put the china down again and leaned against the counter. He sighed and shrugged. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Poe almost expected him to take out cutlery but instead Armitage picked up a slice by hand and bit off a piece. Poe nodded appreciatively and picked up a slice of his own. It was strange how sometimes Hux could go from fairly happy to scowling and latently angry. It made him wish he could understand it. That Hux would talk about it with him. The thing was, though, he had this feeling that Hux barely talked about this sort of thing with anyone… well… maybe he told his cat.

Poe quickly hid his grin by eating his pizza. “So… that poster?”

The grimace on Hux’s face almost made him laugh. Almost. “You haven’t put it together yet? I’m disappointed.”

“Put what together?” Poe dropped his slice on the plate and leaned forward. “Your job?”

Hux nodded thoughtfully, slapped his own slice down and put his elbows on the counter.

“You’re gonna make me guess? I could, ask Leia, you know? I’m sure she knows.”

“Wouldn’t that be boring?”

Poe bit his lip and leaned in a bit more, hoping to catch a glimpse of the truth in Hux’s eyes. But no luck so far. Instead, his eyes trailed down from his eyes, to the freckles on his nose and under his eyes. He hadn’t paid close attention to them up until now, but there they were. And they made his tongue feel like parchement. _Row back_ , he told himself. _Bad idea._

Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to Armitage’s startlingly green eyes, which was probably even worse. But he sat back up again, putting some distance between them.

Raising an eyebrow, Hux let his hand slide forward on the counter. An invitation, or accident? Every single movement from Hux was deliberate, or at least that was how it looked. “What are you doing?”

Immediately Hux stood up straight again and with a twinge of disappointment, Poe watched him pick up two glasses from the cupboard and fill them with water. “You were in the process of unveiling my dirty little secret.”

“Is it dirty?”

Hux laughed. “Hardly.”

Armitage looked down at Poe. Until now he hadn’t really noticed, but then again, until today, he hadn’t allowed himself to really look, but the stubble on the other’s cheeks and neck, clearly the results of a hastened shave that morning, made the eyes seem darker. More intense.

Armitage pushed one of the glasses towards Poe. This was no good. He knew that. Their situation at work was far too complicated for this. Could Poe get into trouble if they started something? Anything? And yet Armitage couldn’t deny there’d been flirting today. Exhilarating, shameless flirting which made him laugh and which made his brain feel fuzzy. He couldn’t remember enjoying himself with another person like this in years. Things with Ben hadn’t been fun exactly. Not that the sex hadn’t been _fun_ , but it was barely anything else. These were actual talks. Talks and tension. Tension, which Armitage hadn’t allowed himself to notice . Not until Dameron had left the previous night. Not until their car ride today.

Dameron cleared his throat. He was close, Armitage could see it, but the idea was preposterous to Dameron. He might not get there at all. And all of a sudden he wanted him to know. He wanted him to know and not regret that decision of having told him. He wasn’t sure he wanted the students or the rest of the faculty to know. Who in this place in the middle of the American desert would take him seriously then?

“My last job before coming here, was to play Raoul Vicomte de Chagny.”

“What now?” Poe leaned forward again, eyebrows raised so high, his entire forehead was crinkled. His expression almost made Armitage grin, so he quickly drank and set down the glass again. 

“In _Phantom of the Opera._ _”_

“You’re kidding.”

“Before that I was part of various Ensemble engagements, understudies. Some modern musicals, some weird plays. London, Dublin, Glasgow, but mostly London.” He was looking Poe directly in the eyes, dreading to find condescension there. Fearing he might laugh at him. But it didn’t happen. All Poe did was stare at him. Open-mouthed. Without blinking. “My first-“

Poe raised a hand to shut him up. “You’re an actor?” No judgement in his voice. No trace of surprise. Alle Armitage heard were the words. The question begging for confirmation.

“Yes.”

“You used to sing for a living?”

“Yes.”

“On a stage.”

“Yes.”

There was a stretch of silence. Poe got up from his chair and, despite everything, Armitage almost expected him to turn around and leave. Instead, Poe walked around the counter until they were standing directly in front of each other, Poe’s dark eyes locked on his.

Up until now Armitage hadn’t even fully realized that Poe was a few inches shorter than him.

“Any good?”

Armitage scoffed, relieved that Poe couldn’t hear his heart racing. “Yes.” There was no doubt in his mind that he was good. Better than at anything else, and that hadn’t been enough. Because at the end of the day you didn’t get all the chances you deserved. Just like that girl who was now delivering pizza instead of attending college.

“Why the hell did you stop, then? I know for a fact you didn’t sell your voice to an evil sea witch.”

“No.” Armitage looked down at him, frowning slightly. Taken aback by Poe’s surprise. What was he surprised about? Was he so damn optimistic that he couldn’t take it if someone failed and gave up? Was he really that naïve? “There were circumstances that made it impossible for me to keep going.”

Poe leaned against the counter himself. He picked up his slice again and started eating. “You gotta explain some more, Hugs.”

“Do I?” There it was. The natural reflex to push the outside world away. It was easier. Easier than telling Poe about how his father had ruined everything within a single day. Armitage shook his head and wished he could move away from Poe. “I came here, I started teaching again, it’s alright. Now I have a cat and a Vice Principal who won’t get out of my hair.”

If anything, Poe was even less impressed. He folded his arms over his chest. “You’re a stubborn son of a bitch, aren’t you?”

“I’ve been called that.”

“You could make your own life a lot easier if you were more open, you know that? Ever heard of authenticity. It might help.” Was that anger in his voice?

Armitage narrowed his eyes, unwilling to engage in this, but that one word hung between them like a wall. “You’re saying I’m not authentic?” Well, maybe he wasn’t. At least in the sense that he didn’t tell everyone he met how his life had been ruined.

Poe sighed and passed a hand over his face. “I’m saying you have a talent apparently and you’re wasting it.”

Well, that was true. Armitage let out a long breath and turned to look out the window. The very same through which Millie had strolled into his life. A bit like Poe? Well, it’d been easier to have Millie in here. She didn’t talk back. She had only thrown seven additional lives into his. “I’m teaching now, aren’t I?”

“Yes, but hiding such a big part of who you are is not gonna make life easy.”

“Would you leave that up to me?”

Poe swallowed visibly. “Sure. It’s your business.”

“Yes, it is.” He started moving forwards, towards the bedroom. Any excuse to end this conversation. Taking another look at the cats might be good enough, but before he could take two steps, Poe was blocking his way, hand slightly raised, short of touching Armitage’s chest.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Despite it all, he liked Poe’s company. And yet, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him so. Hadn’t he invited him over? Hadn’t he ordered food? Hadn’t he allowed Poe to ask questions? Well, here he was, left to deal with the consequences.

Slowly, Poe lowered his hand. “I’m gonna go, then.”

“Do you think this is a good idea?” Armitage asked, stopping Poe from turning away. “This here?” There was no question that what was going on here was more than colleagues meeting outside school. Poe had made it clear. Just as he had made it clear that he wasn’t sure about it himself.

Armitage’s eyes dropped to Poe’s lips, openly for the first time. They were perfectly shaped. And closer to him than they had been up until now. He could feel how close Poe, all of him, was now. The heat radiating off him should made him want to recoil or move in closer. But all he did was stand there, looking at those lips, at those eyes. Wondering what would happen if he leaned in and dang the professional consequences.

“I wish I knew,” Poe laughed, his cheeks turning slightly red and for a brief moment Armitage wondered what it would feel like to push Poe into his pillows or against this very counter, to hear that voice make other sounds as the same blush crept into his cheeks. “Do we want to find out?”

Yes, he did. And the knowledge was all it took for Armitage to find the courage. The courage to step away. But before he’d moved more than an inch, Poe’s hand, warm and big and dry, closed about his wrist. It was enough to make him halt.

“You know, this could go very badly.”

Armitage scoffed, but he still wasn’t moving. He stood there. Frozen by a single touch as Poe moved in closer once more, until there was barely enough room for a slip of paper between them. “I am aware,” Armitage found himself saying. He cleared his throat. “I want to check up on Millie. Let me go, Poe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thirsty? Aren't you? *coughs*
> 
> This was close!


	11. Chapter 11

He did let him go. Of course he did.

Poe stood there, watching Armitage vanish into the bedroom. He’d seen the look in the other’s eyes and there wo no denying that look had done something to him. He still felt tingly, his mouth was dry and he doubted he’d be able to eat another bite.

He hadn’t exactly laid bare his heart. How could he when he had no idea what that stupid thing was trying to tell him anyway? All he could say was that he _had_ seen the fire in Armitage’s eyes. A fire he wanted to selfishly clutch to his chest. Biting his lip, he moved back to the living area to stare down at the soggy piece of pizza that was of no interest to him anymore while Armitage was in the bedroom to put some distance between them.

And then Armitage was back, leaning casually in the doorway. No longer flustered, the pink gone from his neck and cheeks. He looked at Poe with such intensity it made Poe want to close the distance between them again, but Armitage had made it very clear that was not what he wanted. Poe himself had warned him. A couple of times, though he’d never really meant it. He _wanted_ to touch him, damn it. To find out more. But that wasn’t in the cards.

Armitage’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Maybe we should let this rest.”

Poe sighed. Trying very hard not to talk back. If that was what Hux wanted, then he had no say in the matter, did he?

“At least for a couple of days? You said yourself it could complicate things.”

“Alright.” It wasn’t a complete termination. He forced a smile, despite the frown on Armitage’s face. “I’m gonna go.” He’d said pretty much the same words the night before. Right now he wasn’t sure they sounded any different than they had then. A couple of days. It wasn’t the worst of ideas. Whatever this was, whatever it might be that they could be letting themselves get caught up in, a bit of space and time might help figure things out. And if it resulted in them never speaking again outside the Teacher’s Lounge, then that was it.

“Poe, wait.”

_Poe._

He stopped. He’d already turned halfway to the door, had already put his hands in his pockets to find the keys, when he felt Armitage approach him. Within a heartbeat he was close. Very close. Their breath intermingling, but Poe barely had time to process it, before Armitage had leaned in, touching his lips to Poe’s like a leaf touching the surface of a pond. Nothing more. Just that brief touch that made Poe’s heart flutter in his throat.

He blinked, looking up at Armitage, only now realizing that Armitage’s hand was on his neck, holding him in place. There were freckles even on Armtiage’s eyelids, too. What a stupid thing to think about.

“You’d really better go,” Armitage whispered, finally letting go of him und turning his back on him without another word. A moment later the bedroom door closed behind him leaving Poe alone with the emptiness and the uneaten pizza.

“Leia, should you even be here?”

“I told you, I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe a word.”

“Would you please get back to work, Poe?” She sounded exhausted. Too tired to keep arguing. That alone should be confirmation enough, but Poe couldn’t bring himself to push further. Leaving her alone in her office might indeed be the wisest course of action. He closed the door behind himself and caught Dave quickly turning his attention back to the screen in front of him.

Poe leaned forward, his hands on the desktop. “Dave?”

“She was pale when she came in,” the other said quietly. “Didn’t say much.” He let his hands fall into his lap and swivelled around in his chair so he was looking at Poe now. “Any idea what’s going on?”

“No,” Poe said just as quietly. “Can you make sure all calls go to my phone?” He picked up a stack of letters that would sooner or later find their way into Leia’s office. He pondered for a moment, flicking through the papers. He would deal with those today as best he could. But that would mean having to cancel his P.E. and English lessons. Monday was the day he was busiest in school, but Tuesdays weren’t much better. This wasn’t ideal. But they were already stretched thin. He looked down at his watch. Five minutes before break.

“Sure,” Dave said. “And bring her some tea later, will you? She won’t take any from me.”

Chuckling, Poe crossed the distance to his own office door. “The trick is to make it an order, not an offer,” he grinned at Dave before entering his own four walls but leaving the door open. He really didn’t want anyone to even get the idea that it was okay to disturb Leia when his own office door was wide open.

He was not entirely sure what was wrong with her and he doubted she would tell him unless it became absolutely necessary, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried. In fact, he doubted he’d ever been more worried about her.

With a sigh, he sat down in his uncomfortable chair and started sorting the papers into three piles. Bills, letters from the council and letters from parents. The latter were the least pleasant and he would tackle those first. The bills would have to be approved, the letters from the council needed to be replied to. He normally didn’t like this kind of work, but for one, he could take some of the burden from Leia, and he could keep his mind occupied. He hadn’t been in the Teacher’s Lounge yesterday, busying himself with paperwork, although he knew Armitage wouldn’t show up there anyway. They hadn’t spoken since Saturday.

Not one word since the door had shut between them.

Not one word since that kiss that meant everything and nothing at the same time.

Poe hadn’t talked about it. Not to his dad, not to Finn. It was none of their business, especially not since he still didn’t know what he should say or think after telling them of that kiss. He knew they would ask him how he had felt. Especially his dad would want to know. Well, that was something he could answer with two simple words: exhilarated and numb. Both sensations were equally terrifying and encouraging at the same time. And if that wasn’t confusing enough, then there was also the thing with their work relationship. His dad would understand, but also tell him to just get over himself.

But instead of allowing himself to talk about it with his father, Poe had made it through a day helping him on the farm, talking about nothing but strictly everyday topics. He was pretty sure Kes felt that something was up but, as usual, he hadn’t pressed him. And he wouldn’t press him until the moment that things became too much for Poe to swallow. Not that Poe had any intention of things getting that far.

The thing was, he wanted to try. He wanted to see where this could go, and he was almost sure that Armitage could show some restraint if things went badly. If those two days of not seeing Armitage had taught him something, it was that he couldn’t get Armitage out of his head and that he wanted to know more about him. To understand him properly. To hold him for at least one whole night.

He looked up from the first parent letter he hadn’t even read yet when the bell rang. Already the first couple of students were in the corridors. He could hear their mutterings and their voices. Right. Time to talk to Chad and beg him to fill in for him in his English lesson during his free period. Chad wouldn’t like it, but he’d do it with the smallest amount of grunting possible. It was just a good thing that all the kids liked Chad.

“Dave, I’ll be back after break and-“

“Don’t worry, I have no intention of letting anyone in there.” Dave pointed at Leia’s door with his thumb and Poe nodded at him appreciatively.

“Does every school have a secretary like you?”

“I doubt it. I’m one of a kind. And please don’t tell my boy I said that.”

“How old’s Toby now anyway?”

“Twenty-five.”

Poe sighed and nodded again. “The worst thing about this job is that you feel like you’re getting older every day.”

Dave grinned at him as he picked up the phone. “Guess what? It’ll only get worse when you’re a dad.”

“Ha!”

As he’d expected the Teacher’s Lounge was packed and the usual cake was sitting on the counter. And, just as predictably, Armitage hadn’t shown up. Was it because of him? No, Poe thought. Armitage hadn’t shown up, because he hadn’t been in here the entire time. That was it. No hidden agenda. Just the usual tactic of avoiding everyone. Poe saw Rose and Rey talking quietly in a corner, both of them holding massive mugs. Chad was sitting on one of the couches, head laid back, eyes closed. The first couple of lessons clearly hadn’t been easy. Everyone else was talking as well. Nobody had been looking towards the door. Poe hesitated. Chad was close to retirement age. Did he really want him to take over his senior year class as well?

“Poe, what’s up?” Rey asked from the side and he turned to look at her.

“Tired,” he said. “Has the team recovered from their defeat?” He was looking at Rose and found her grinning into her coffee.

“What do you think?” she smirked. “When’s the next football match again?”

Poe groaned. “Don’t ask.” He really didn’t have the emotional capacity to talk about that too at the moment. “I need someone to take over my English class with the Seniors. And I have to cancel P.E.”

“Why?” Rey frowned at him.

“Admin stuff.” He knew, he just _knew_ Rey wasn’t happy with the answer, but he couldn’t very well start talking about their boss’s health here. “I was gonna ask Chad, but he looks pretty exhausted already.”

Rose cocked her head, put a hand on her hip and looked down at Chad. “Yes, he does. He can be really cute.”

“Should I be jealous?” Rey reached up to brush a strand of hair from Rose’s forehead. The gesture was so casual and intimate, it made Poe’s stomach twist painfully again. It made him think of Armitage’s immaculate hair. Of the freckles he’d seen there a few days earlier. Of how he’d awoken that night, his sheets soaked in sweat and a yearning throbbing in his middle. He’d barely spent more than a day with him all in all, but for Armitage to have such an effect on him was not something Poe would have expected.

Swallowing hard, he took out his phone to check up on everyone’s timetable. Mary was free, but Poe doubted the grumpiest teacher in school would be too enthusiastic about taking over teaching. Reginald would be on his way to pick up the grandchildren from day care right after school. The only other person who was even remotely capable of taking over was Armitage. Poe cleared his throat. “I’m gonna go to the Music Room,” he said.

“Oh, okay, tell Armitage his cake is awesome.”

“ _His_ cake?” Poe halted, turning round to look at the half eaten sponge cake on the counter. White sponge, with a cream filling. Hux had made cake?! “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, there was a note right next to it,” Rey said. “Thanking us all for welcoming him.” She looked like she was about to say something else, but instead she just shrugged. “He must have put it here before school even started.”

Had he indeed? Poe raised his eyebrows at her, but didn’t comment any further. It was bad enough that he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading over his face. The cake was certainly a step in the right direction. “Oh, Rey, Rose, you should ask him to show him pictures of those kittens. He’s got seven of them and I bet he doesn’t want to keep all of them.”

He didn’t wait for an answer. He was happy enough to leave the two of them and let them have their endless discussion about pets without him. He wouldn’t be a lot of help to Rey if he took her side in front of Rose.

On his way out he peered at the cake. It looked perfect. Simple, but perfect in every other sense. He had to make sure to bring Leia a slice. Once outside, he spotted a couple of kids showing each other videos on their phones, goggling at the screens, a couple of them laughing behind their hands. Which viral nightmare was this? No doubt some student or other would show him soon enough, but right now he had no time for this sort of thing.

As he’d expected the door to the Music Room was closed, but through the window he could see Armitage sitting at his desk, scribbling something on his tablet. Good grief, maybe he should talk to Mary after all…

But wasn’t that the exact reason he’d had misgivings? That people would think he might favour Armitage?

It was almost as if Armitage had heard his thoughts. His head snapped up and the eyes narrowed for a moment. Not a very promising outlook.

Poe took a deep breath, then he pushed open the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry! Tiny cliffhanger! I hope you can forgive me ;) I hope to be post be posting the next chapter tomorrow :-)


	12. Chapter 12

He hadn’t seen Poe in what felt like forever. During the last few days Armitage had kept himself busy. Working on lesson plans, looking at the cats, ordering furniture and looking at the cats drove him through the rest of Saturday and Sunday. Additional teaching was what made him get through Monday too. There was too much on his mind. Too many things he didn’t want to think about.

“You’re okay?” Poe asked, sounding more unsure of himself than he had on Saturday.

“Yes.” Armitage nodded and came to his feet. He had made a huge mistake. There was no doubt about it. “You?” He was leaning against his desk now, his hands braced on the edge of it. “What’s up?”

 _What_ _’_ _s up._ Like there was nothing to talk about. Armitage looked out of the window which was wide open and overlooking the road in front of the school and the parking lot. Poe closed the door behind him.

He seemed on edge. Ready to talk about it all. To talk it out. But Armitage couldn’t. He wouldn’t. What was there to say anyway?

“I hate to ask this of you, but can you take over my English class at two? I know this is your short day-“

“Yes,” Armitage said, the S at the end of the word sharp and precise. “What are they studying?”

“ _The Woman in White._ They’re supposed to present their characterisations today.”

Armitage nodded curtly, feeling the distance he was putting between himself and Poe with that single motion of his head. It was the right thing to do. There was nothing for them in this. And Armitage doubted they could be friends. Not with this tension hanging between them. “Fine. That shouldn’t be a problem. Anything else?”

Poe frowned at him. “Did something happen?”

“No.” Another short, brief answer. It was on point. “Thanks.”

They stared at each other for another moment, Armitage cool and distant, Poe clearly urging to say something else. What though? Would he ask about the cats, or the new piano that was standing by the window? About the coils of string lying on the desk? About how the rest of the weekend had been? But Armitage wasn’t exactly inviting question by the way he was staring at Poe now. He knew that. No matter how desperately he wanted to keep talking. To hear that voice. Because what he wanted was the problem. “Rey said to tell you the cake is excellent.”

Armitage smiled then and looked down at his shoes. “Thank you.” No further comment. That was all. He’d made it to mend bridges as best he could. Even if he still couldn’t bring himself to be in that room with all the others.

But that wasn’t enough for Poe. Of course it wasn’t. Passionate, determined Poe had expected more of him. Maybe even a repetition of their last encounter. But it was something Armitage didn’t feel he could give. Something he didn’t want to give.

Not with that message waiting for him back home.

“I’ll leave you to it, then. There’s a copy of the novel the kids are reading on the desk.”

A barely perceptible nod was all the response he got.

But still Poe couldn’t let this stand. He took a deep breath. “Armitage, there will be a Christmas Fair towards the end of December to raise some money. I was going to announce it during lunch break, but I guess you won’t be there then.”

Armitage looked up, eyebrows raised.

“Maybe you can find a way to contribute with a couple of students.”

He got through the day. Got through all of the paperwork and the phone calls. There was a lot to arrange. He would have to get permits, he would have to write a letter to the parents hoping there would be those willing to participate in the Christmas Fair.

It kept him busy. It kept his mind focused on something other than Armitage Hux. Who could even deal with that? Being angry was easier than worrying. Easier than keeping himself from going back there to confront him. You didn’t go and kiss a guy and act like nothing had happened after two days of radio silence. It hadn’t even been accidental. Armitage had made a clear decision and followed through with it.

And there he was again.

He was thinking about it.

Slamming the paper on the table, Poe got up. He was starting to get a headache from all of this. And he hated feeling this way. Already it was well past the final lesson. There were no more students in the school and Dave had left as well. Leia’s door stood ajar. Poe had seen her leave her office occasionally. He had taken her the tea and the slice of cake, but all the while she had been focused on her laptop and the papers in front of her, never really looking up.

He stepped up to her door now, knocking softly on the wooden doorframe. She was sitting on the couch opposite the window, phone pressed to her ear. Looking up, and nodding at something the speaker was saying, she waved him inside.

“Yes, I see.” Leia cleared her throat. “The thing is, I’m not sure we’re looking for a business to invest in our school on that level.” She paused, eyes still trained on Poe as he sat in the chair in which Armitage had sat over a week ago. “No, I am very sure,” she continued. “Tell you what though, send me a proposal about how you want to be involved and why and I’ll give it some thought. Yes. Goodbye.” She hung up with a roll of her eye.

“Who was that?”

“Some businessman trying to invest in our school. Can you believe it?” She said it as though this was nothing to her. Nothing but a ridiculous notion, but Poe got the feeling she’s gotten news like this before. “He really said _invest in,_ not _donate to._ This is a public high school. What is he even thinking?”

“Why would we turn down a sponsorship. You know what the situation is like.”

“Yes, Poe, thank you for reminding me.”

Frowning, Poe leaned back and stretched out his legs. “Don’t be so sarcastic, boss,” he said, putting his hands behind his head. “I’m just wondering. Why was that person even interested? And who are they?”

A shadow flickered over Leia’s face. “We’ll see,” she said darkly. She put the phone on the glass coffee table with a soft clunking sound. “What did you want to see mee about?”

“I wanted to see how you are. I’m worried.”

A crease worthy of Armitage appeared between her eyebrows. “I’m alright.”

“Fine. Would you please go see a doctor to confirm that?” He didn’t like saying it, but there it was. Her skin was ashen grey, and she looked considerably thinner than she had done at the beginning of the school year.

With a low grunt, she stared at him. “You’re very annoying.”

“So I’ve been told.” Poe nodded appreciatively. A bit of banter was always nicer than worrying constantly and trying to keep his mind off other things. “Will you still do it? I bet Luke’s giving you one hell of a time too?”

“No need to bet.” Leia rubbed her forehead. “It’s been a bit much. That’s it. I’m just relieved we finally found someone to take over Music classes.”

There it was. That sting he’d been dreading and the one he knew would come when Armitage was referred to. It was time he started getting over that. “Yes, I told him to think about what he’d like to do for the Christmas Fair.”

“Did you?” Leia nodded.

“Do you know what he did before this?”

She nodded again, this time without saying a word.

Poe swallowed hard and just looked at her. “I’d better go. I still have a couple of e-mails to write.”

“Poe Dameron, didn’t you just tell _me_ to take it easy?”

“Are you returning the favour?”

“Indeed I am. Go home. You have a dog to feed, don’t you?”

Millie was just coming out of the bathroom when Armitage opened the front door. Already he could hear the kittens complaining loudly that their mother had abandoned them to do her business.

“How do we do it, huh?” Armitage asked, already on his way to the kitchen to get a can of cat food for Millie. “Surrounded by screaming children all day?” he laughed and offered her his hand. She pressed her head into it without hesitating even for a moment. “It wasn’t all that bad,” he said with a shake of his head before emptying the can on a saucer. “Only a couple of them complained when I gave them homework.”

Millie blinked at him, then turned her full attention to the saucer to devour her dinner. The laptop was sitting in its usual spot at the table and, for the first time since he’d moved in, he picked it up and carried it over to the bedroom. He wanted to keep work and sleep separate and had known for a long time, that it was the best thing to do, but he wanted to check up on the babies. Especially with what was looming over him now.

They seemed alright. Their eyes still hadn’t opened and they were huddled together, some sleeping, some wriggling in an attempt to move about. Armitage sat down cross-legged in front of the box.

It wasn’t as though there was a lot to be seen. Not yet anyway, but at the same time, couldn’t take his eyes off them. It was, without a doubt, the best part of his day: coming home to these cats. To think he would’ve almost abandoned Millie. It was unimaginable now.

As he turned on the laptop, he found something soft and furry in his back. Next moment Millie was by his side, her shoulder pressed up against his leg. “Give me five to ten minutes, okay?”

It wouldn’t be five to ten minutes. He knew that very well, but he also knew he couldn’t avoid this forever. He had seen his father’s email. It had arrived on Sunday as he was planning his lessons and just seeing his father’s name like this had sent a chill down his spine. It was almost as though his father was standing right outside his front door.

Up until now he hadn’t opened it.

Up until now he hadn’t managed to.

He had a feeling however, that he wouldn’t be able to avoid it forever.

“Well, here we go,” he sighed, bending over Millie to kiss her head.

His heart was beating so fast he could barely breathe. He’d been wound up for days now. Wound up and aching to delete his email account. But what use was that? It might only result in his father a _ctually_ flying out here, or rather, sending one of his cronies to deliver the message. Armitage was not looking forward to either.

Pressing his lips together he opened the email, wishing for someone to be here with him. Someone other than Millie. What a silly thought. He’d always been alone. Especially in moments like this.

There was no greeting. His father hadn’t even used his name. He never did if he could avoid it.

_I realize you have decided to heed my advice and leave that ridiculous pursuit behind. I know you have taken up a teaching position in Anchorhead. It is not what I would have wanted my son to be, but I do not expect anything else from you._

_I have received the paycheck from your last engagement and will be transferring the money to a trust fund. Had you bothered staying a week longer, you would know by now that your step-mother is expecting. Let us hope that child is not a weak nothing like his brother._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. :-D


	13. Chapter 13

“Mr Hux?”

“Yes?” He didn’t even know there were still students in here. Once the bell had rung, he had turned to wipe the blackboard. It was a good method of avoiding chit-chat after class. But apparently this one student was stubborn enough. He turned around slowly to find himself face to face with not one, but three students. At least he remembered their names now: Mark, Nick and Gillian. That was something. And not the least you should expect after three weeks at this school.

The three of them were all standing in front of his desk, looking slightly nervous, all of them clutching their phones. He almost felt sorry for having snapped at Nick today. But if there was one thing he hated about classes were students who didn’t do their work when they were perfectly able to do so. And he knew Nick wasn’t stupid. The boy didn’t even pretend to be and that was probably the worst thing about it. And yet, Armitage knew that his tone, once again, had been too harsh. He swallowed hard. “Nick, I’m sorry, I should have-“

“No, that’s fine!” Nick shook his head. “You were just doing your job.”

Taken aback, Armitage stared down at the young man. What the hell was going on here? Were these children becoming politer? “Is something wrong with the assignment?”

“No, that’s fine,” Mark said, echoing his friend and shaking his head so his dark hair bounced about his face.

Well, then what? Armitage frowned so he didn’t snap at them again. But the children didn’t seem to be intimidated by him. “Okay,” he said instead. “What’s up?”

“Mr Hux, is this you?”

His heart plummeted the second Mark lifted his phone. So this was it. It was out. He held out the phone to Armitage. And there it was. The headshot which had been used for the _Phantom_ program. A clear shot of his face in black and white, an unapproachable smile on his face. Right beneath a video titled: _Armitage Hux blessing us with his voice for 6 minutes._ His face could ne seem om this one as well. His face on stage, ready to start acting. It was as though he could see himself and knew that this person wasn’t him, but a stranger come to haunt him from another world. And with every millisecond that passed, he felt the chill creeping up his spine.

He stared at the screen for a whole minute, hoping against hope this hadn’t happened. But of course it had. It would only take his students typing his name into any search engine. How could he have expected to get away with this? He took a deep breath, pulling himself upright.

“It _is_ you!”

“Yes,” Armitage said, before either one of them could say anything else. “Yes, that is me. But it was a long time-“

“The video was released a month ago!” Gillian said, her eyes wide and bright. It almost broke his heart. Why did he have to be so emotionally involved in this? Swallowing hard, he looked at his hands.

“Yes, well…”

“And you actually stopped it to come teaching here?! Why?!” Mark asked. “You’re good, dude.”

“I mean, you’re no Phantom, but you’re a kickass Raoul.”

“It’s just a bootleg,” Armitage said quietly, forcing himself to look at the children again. Seeing them like this, staring at him as though he was the sole focus of their attention. And he was. At least for now. And he hated that he hated it. He had worked hard for this. Hard to become someone to be reckoned with during auditions. And now this. He had sunk so low. Somehow their admiration only made him feel inferior. Unworthy and every bit as useless as he had felt at nine years old. “Don’t trust what you hear.” He forced a smile.

“Mr Hux, won’t you do a musical with us? Or a play?”

“Excuse me?” he blinked as his stomach did a little somersault.

“There’s nobody here who wants to do a play with us! I mean-“

“Why don’t you stop bothering Mr Hux?”

Poe. Armitage hadn’t even seen him standing there in the doorway, arms folded over his chest. He looked almost fierce as he looked at the children. “Come on, time for lunch.”

“Oh, but Mr Dameron-“ Gillian started protesting, but Poe merely smiled at her, the fierce coldness vanishing from his eyes almost at once.

“Out you go! Mr Hux will do it, or he won’t. No use bothering him.”

Mark grabbed Nick by the sleeve and started pulling him towards the door. “Fine…” he sighed. “Come on, Gillian.”

But the girl wasn’t moving. Instead she looked at Armitage almost pleadingly. “Think about it?”

“Gillian!” Poe scolded her and with a sigh, she finally turned to follow her friends.

“See you tomorrow, Mr Hux.”

“See you tomorrow,” Hux said, his voice barely more than a whisper. What had happened there? He cleared his throat and quickly lowered his gaze as he felt Poe’s lingering on him. This was not going ideally, was it?

“You okay?”

Armitage pulled up his chair and sat down, doing his best to at least feign not being rattled. “Of course.” Opening his bag, he took out the narrow lunch box he’d packed the previous evening. Better to have something to do with his hands. “Thanks.” A clear dismissal. What it really was, was him begging Poe to leave him alone. To let him deal with this himself like he always had. Like he always would.

But the door fell shut and Armitage let tout a long breath before looking up. He was alone. Completely alone in this room, while outside that video was bound to be circulating like crazy. His hand was shaking as he raised it to his burning face. How was he supposed to work through the rest of the day now?

What he hadn’t expected was the prickling in his eyes. The way his heart was pounding. The feeling of guilt he felt just by thinking about this video. Guilt that was connected to a person he hated so much it made him want to scream.

His breath hitched and he quickly jumped to his feet to lock the door. If there was one thing he couldn’t take right now, it was somebody else walking in on him now. But he’d barely reached for the doorknob, when he spotted a familiar face on the other side. The carelessly shaven face with those eyes that managed to enthral him with a single look.

Poe’s eyes widened, his lips were slightly parted and that look was enough for Armitage to take a step back.

The door opened and Poe came in.

Armitage wasn’t sure he had the strength to move further away and the door fell shut behind Poe with a noise so loud it made Armitage flinch. “Are you,” Poe began, placing his heavy hands on his shoulders and pushing him away from the door so they couldn’t be seen, “okay?”

That same question again. A question Armitage couldn’t answer without lying. The problem was, he didn’t have the energy to lie. To look into those eyes, filled with earnestness and concern, and lie.

He pressed his lips together and started lowering his gaze.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Armitage?”

Another question. One that had been asked of him so often. But not out of concern. Not because the other person wanted to know. Not because the other person wanted to help. The words were ringing in his head and it was all he could do to raise his hands. To push Poe away. Instead his hands dug into Poe’s shirt.

The fabric was warm. Warm and soft and enough to finally bring those treacherous tears to his eyes.

He let out another hitched breath and found himself pulled into the other’s arms. Arms that demanded nothing. Arms that only provided, holding him tight against another person. The very person he had shoved away from himself for weeks. The person he had only seen from afar. He felt Poe’s breath on his neck, inhaled the musky scent.

Swallowing hard he clasped onto him, grateful to be allowed to and terrified of what would come next. When Poe would want to talk. To know what was wrong.

He felt Poe’s hand wander up, hold his neck in place, cradling his head against the crook of his own neck. Like a crying infant. But for once Armitage didn’t care. All his defences had crumbled with a single look.

His eyes were closed, he felt the tension leaving his body. Just like that, though his stomach was still in a tight knot.

“Armitage, talk to me.”

Armitage let out another breath and kept his eyes closed. This was something he couldn’t step away from. Not without lashing out. Not without pushing Poe back even further. And he didn’t have the energy for it. “I’m sorry,” he finally muttered, his lips only a breath away from Poe’s wonderfully warm skin. He almost felt Poe’s Adam’s apple bob up and down as the other swallowed.

“I-“ he began, but he broke off. Poe’s fingertips brushed over his skin, so lightly it made Armitage almost dissolve.

“I thought you’re proud of… you know?”

Armitage pressed his lips against Poe’s neck. Anything to stop him talking. Anything to stop this conversation from going somewhere he couldn’t.

_Let us hope that child is not a weak nothing like his brother._

How often had he read this email? How often had he read this line, wondering how it could sting so much even now.

“Wow,” Poe said, gripping his shoulders again and pushing him away. His eyes were even wider now. “Armitage?”

He lowered his gaze before he could do something else terribly stupid, although he doubted it wasn’t already too late. “I’m sorry,” he said, feeling like the small boy his father still thought he was, and that feeling made bile rise in his throat. Poe’s hand on his cheek drove the thought away for the blink of an eye, but then it was back again.

“What for? Why are you so upset?”

Armitage shut his eyes. Shut them tight so he didn’t have to look at Poe. He didn’t deserve this, he told himself. He didn’t deserve this kindness. This attention.

How much time did they have left? Before the bell rang, bringing hordes of students back.

“Armitage?”

And that was enough. His name spoken with a softness that made his entire being yearn for more. “My father,” he muttered. “He contacted me.”

“Is he okay?”

Armitage let out a bitter laugh and finally managed to open is eyes. They were still burning, but there were no more tears. Poe was still close to him. So incredibly close. “I wish he wasn’t.”

Poe’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t let go of Armitage. The hand on his shoulder just grabbed him a bit tighter. “He’s a jerk?”

“You could say that.”

“Is that why you were being a jerk?”

“I’m usually a jerk, if that’s what you want to call it.”

Laughing, Poe started letting go of him, but Armitage couldn’t quite bring himself to let go of his shirt. It was creased and crumpled beneath his fingertips, but he couldn’t. So, instead, Poe put his hands on Armitage’s, flattening them against his chest. He felt the firmness of the muscles beneath the fabric. The warmth. Armitage almost imagined feeling Poe’s heart beating beneath his fingertips. “I’m not gonna do this if you ignore me again for another three weeks,” he said.

“I’m sorry.” He shook his head, but his hands were still trapped. “I’m a mess.”

“Yes, you are.” Poe wasn’t smiling exactly, but the ghost of a smile was tugging at his lips. His thumbs stroked over Armitage’s hands. “Tell you what, Beebee and me will come over tonight. With proper dinner. Okay? Let’s talk then. I want to know everything.”

Armitage scoffed. “What about this whole _it could end badly._ ”

“Tell you what,” Poe cocked his head and he took a step towards him, dropping one of Armitage’s hands and cupping his cheek again. “This is already a disaster. And I don’t give a fuck.”

The words brought a smile to Armitage’s face as he found himself leaning into the touch. Leaning into Poe, every muscle in his body tense, expecting to feel Poe’s lips, when the bell rang and Poe drew back. “I’ll be there at six. With food.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger! Cliffhanger! I know! I'm so sorry! No, you know what? I'm not :-P Off to write some more.
> 
> What do you think? Comments are always appreciated!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I'm caught up in a project at school. My students are participating at MUN conference and this really is taking all day. It's worth it though. Luckily this chapter is extra long. 
> 
> Content warning at end of the chapter.

His brain was buzzing for the rest of the day. Especially whenever he didn’t have to focus on something crucial like students’ safety during gym or making various phone calls or talking to Leia. As far as he knew she hadn’t seen a doctor yet, but she was looking far better now. As though all she’d needed was a lot of sleep. Not that Poe quite believed she was fully recovered, and he still took over a majority of her work without her knowing too much about it. He was glad to be able to do something at least.

And then there was Armitage. Always hovering at the edge of his mind. For three weeks, he had found himself always casually strolling by the Music Room or the Physics Lab, trying to catch a glimpse of him and hating himself for it. He couldn’t say the looks Armitage had given him or what he had said were easily forgiven, but there was always this nagging feeling that there was something more. Something vital he was missing. A notion which made something in his chest ache for an explanation.

“You’re just gonna have to talk to him again,” Finn had said that Sunday as they were out for a walk. “He comes to my shop quite regularly. Do you want me to ask him?”

“No!” Poe had exclaimed, shaking his head vigorously as he watched Beebee stick his nose into a hole in the ground. “No, I really don’t want this to get even more complicated.”

Finn had just grunted and for a moment Poe had almost expected him to say something else.

Luckily he hadn’t.

And then he had seen Armitage trying to talk his way out of taking some action for the students. Not because he was lazy or he hated what they were asking of him. But because there it was. That something. Poe had felt it hanging in the air as he stood in the doorway and saw how flustered and tense he was.

For the first time in weeks he had seen him up close. There were shadows under Hux’s eyes and despite the fact that about a million more freckles had appeared on his cheeks, Poe couldn’t help but think he looked almost sick. Sick with no illness, but with something else. A weight so heavy on his shoulders it made Poe want to do something drastic about it.

Hugging him had come natural to him.

Touching him was the right thing to do.

At that moment, anyway.

He’d felt the tension starting to leave Armitage’s body, had felt how desperately Armitage had clung to him, the tears running hot and burning down his own throat. And then there were his lips. Armitage’s lips on his neck before he could confess that he hated his father.

Something was wrong with that, too. And it had everything to do with his former job. With his life’s work that had been ruined for him so badly he now didn’t want to have anything to do with it in front of his students.

Right there and then it had taken all his self-control not to press Armitage against the wall and kiss him senseless. To make him forget. Poe wanted nothing more than to selfishly indulge in the notion that Armitage was thinking about _him_ and nothing that made him sad, or angry or spiteful. The desire to drive all of this from Armitage’s mind was overwhelming and it was only intensified by the feeling of Armitage’s breath on his skin. Or by the look in his eyes, pleading to let him have more.

But the bell had rung, ending this little exchange far too abruptly. Reminding them both of where they were. But at least this exchange, these minutes of holding Armitage, had been enough to make him feel sure of what he wanted. He wanted him. Even if it was just for a short while. Even if Armitage only allowed him access for a few hours, or days, or weeks. Poe was sure he wouldn’t be able to stay away.

A notion that was only confirmed when he pulled up to Armitage’s house again. Beebee was, as usual in the footwell, looking around excitedly and jumping up on the passenger seat as soon as Poe turned off the engine. Was he really doing this? Going to Armitage’s place, not under any pretence, but with the full intention of kissing him senseless? And maybe even more?

He quickly pushed the thought away. Who could say what Armitage would be like now? There were few people as changeable as Armitage Hux. In some respects anyway. How did he do it? Switch from being a perfectly nice guy to being a jerk from one second to the next. “Should we go in?” Poe asked, rubbing Beebee behind the ears, earning himself an adoring look and a passionate licking of his forearm. “Oh stop it.” He shook his head, reached behind to the backseat to retrieve the bag of groceries and opened the car door, Beebee already securely on his leash. And then he saw the familiar car on the other side of the road. Rose’s black SUV. “What the…”

Beebee jumped out of the car and started tugging at the leash, already fully aware of where they were going. Up the stairs to the first storey of the building. “Yeah, I’m coming,” Poe muttered, sighing in relief and dreading finding his two friends here. They would immediately know what his visit here meant. There was no question that Poe was notoriously bad at hiding his emotions, whereas Armitage was usually an expert at it, or so it seemed.

Not allowing himself another moment to ponder this, he hurried up the tiled stairs, smiling at the neighbour leaning out of his window and smoking a cigarette. “Hey.”

“Are you interested in the cats too?”

“Huh?”

“Do you also want one of those cats? Armitage has eight now, right?”

“Uhm, no,” Poe said quietly, hastening to ring the doorbell with Beebee already waiting eagerly for the door to open, his nose pressed up between the doorway and the door itself. Sometimes it was scary how unafraid this dog was sometimes. Clearly, his hesitation upon first coming here only stemmed from the weird smells of a cat in labour. Had he really seen that happen? Had he really spent hours upon hours in Armitage’s company to do so?

And yet Armitage had still pushed him away and it had hurt like hell.

Could he live through that again?

“Right. Friend or colleague?”

Why was this man so nosy?! “Both,” Poe said, smiling vaguely at the blond, burly man. Was that all this man did? Lean out of his window, an ugly pillow under his elbows so the window pane didn’t hurt his skin?

“Ah… okay.” The neighbour said, nodding appreciatively. He appeared to be on the verge of saying something else when Poe heard footsteps by the door and next second the door was opened.

It wasn’t Armitage. Instead, he was standing directly opposite Rey who was holding a grey, loudly meowing furball to her chest. “Poe!” she exclaimed grinning widely. “Hey!”

“So, Rose is letting you have a cat after all?”

Rey beamed at him and stepped aside to let him in. “She says it’s just charity, but I think she’s already falling in love!” she grinned.

“Poe! Have you s _een_ these?!” Rose shouted from the bedroom and Poe let the leash fall to the ground to allow Beebee to start shuffling about.

“Yes, I have, but they didn’t even have their eyes open then,” he replied, looking at the little grey tiger with the massive blue eyes staring back at him. “This one’s scary.”

“Oh, shut up,” Rey laughed. “I didn’t know you were coming.” She threw a meaningful look at the plastic bag in his hand and then started back towards the bedroom.

“Rey, what about this one?” he heard Rose say as Beebee slipped in through the bedroom door, the leash still trailing behind him. Next moment, Armitage entered the living room, his lower arms strewn with thin scratches. He had his sleeves pushed up again, looking as casual as Poe had ever seen him.

He stood there for a moment, looking at Poe with those sea green eyes of his that could be cruel, desperate and promising, all at the same time.

Swallowing hard, Poe put the bag down on the counter and only now did he realize that the room was so much fuller now than it had the last time he had been here. A narrow bookcase against the wall to the bathroom, a desk with the computer on top. A lavish sofa with a small, rectangular coffee table. A TV. Another chair at the kitchen table.

He looked at Armitage again. At the lazy elegance with which he wore his shirt now, though not a whole lot had changed since that afternoon. The first two buttons of his shirt were undone, instead of just one. Poe took a deep breath to say something, anything, but words failed him.

He just let out a long breath and watched Armitage approach him.

“Hi.” Armitage looked him up and down, his hands hanging limply from his sides as though they didn’t know what to do next.

“You’ve redecorated.”

Hux scoffed, but nodded. “I figured some furniture might help.” He looked around, his eyes travelling over the pieces he had acquired as though looking for an excuse to look at anything but Poe. There was that flush in his cheeks again. A flush that only deepened when Rey squealed with joy.

“And you found parents for one of your kittens.”

“Two!” Rose said. Poe watched her emerge from the bedroom door and immediately he seized Armitage’s hand. To force him to stay where he was. Poe almost expected him to withdraw his hand. To pull back, or to let his hand go slack. But instead, Armitage’s fingers tightened around his own, making Poe catch his breath.

“Two?” Armitage repeated, his fingers squeezing Poe’s once before letting go. But Rey had seen it. Rose had seen it. There was no going back from that at least.

Luckily enough neither of them made a big deal out of it. Rey merely motioned for Armitage to follow her into the bedroom again, whereas Rose stayed with Poe, clearly fighting and losing the urge to grin.

“Two.” Poe said, hoping to draw her attention to the cats Rey and Armitage were discussing in the neighbouring room.

“You’ve been here a lot?” Rose asked casually, leaning against the counter and looking at the plastic bag surreptitiously.

“No,” Poe cleared his throat. There was little to no doubt he had been here more often than anybody else of his colleagues, and he hadn’t heard Armitage mention anybody else, apart from Finn, who wasn’t part of the faculty.

“Okay. Good thing you were here when the kittens arrived,” Rose said, nudging him in the ribs with his elbow. “I would’ve freaked out.”

“So, you want a cat now after all?”

Rose shrugged, eyes trained on the open bedroom door. Poe’s gaze followed hers and felt his throat go tight as he looked at the bed. That hadn’t happened before when he was here. A lot of things had changed in that half hour he had spent in Armitage’s classroom. “They’re cute,” she stated simply. “You know we’re getting that small grey one and a slightly bigger red one.” She looked up at him with a grin. “Hey, are you going grey at the temples?”

“You sure you don’t want anything for them?” Rey asked, coming out of the bedroom again and making it easier for Poe to ignore that last remark.

“Absolutely sure,” Armitage said. “I’m not making profit off them. I already feel bad enough giving them away.”

“Are you going to give them all away?” Poe asked, crossing his arms and trying not to stare at Armitage too obviously and failing completely. If the mere possibility of Armitage opening up to him, of sharing something, anything, was already making him this flustered, what was he supposed to do then?

“No, I guess I’ll keep one.”

“Beebee wants one,” Poe said quickly and bursting out laughing immediately afterwards, eyes always trailing down from Armitage’s eyes to his lips and always feeling that wonderful stabbing sensation in his chest.

“Maybe think about it?” Rey said, “Do you guys really want to have three cats _and_ a dog?”

Poe flinched. He hadn’t even realized the two of them were close to the door now. “Shut up, Rey,” he shot back at her, before she and Rose waved at them and then left after a quick goodbye.

Just a few words and he was alone again with Armitage. Alone and in the same place where Armitage had kissed him. The exact same spot. But now Poe felt the echo of Armitage’s hand in his.

Licking his lips, Armitage approached him, the smile gone with the closing of the door. There was no anger though either. Only something so vulnerable and fierce and determined that Poe carefully raised his hand, brushing his fingertips over Armitage’s face again, wondering how long it would take to connect all those freckles with a single touch. Armitage frowned down at him and Poe could almost hear his mind buzzing with things he wanted to say.

“Have you thought about this?” Poe asked instead.

Taken aback, Armitage blinked. Then he moved even closer, his hands laying lightly on Poe’s hips. “I have,” he said as his thumbs hooked into the loops of Poe’s belt.

“And?”

“You phrased it perfectly,” Armitage said, but instead of pulling him even closer, instead of crushing their lips together, he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Poe’s. “Fuck it.” He sighed. The words cutting through Poe like a hot knife. But there was something else. Something crucial. “I wish I could tell you. Everything.”

Poe swallowed hard. So this was it? An issue of trust? Armitage wanted this, whatever this was evolving to be, but he didn’t trust Poe? He bit his lip, about to pull back, when he remembered the haunted look in Armitage’s eyes. The terror in them. How long it had taken him to even admit that something was wrong.

That one single motion, that trace of retreat was enough. Enough for Armitage to loosen his grip on him, but before he could pull away completely, Poe wrapped his arms around his neck, trapping him, revelling in the roughness of Armitage’s breath against his skin, before he pressed his lips against Armitage’s.

There was nothing light about this. Nothing playful.

Greedily he held onto Armitage, felt the tugging of Armitage’s hands on his belt, the hot breath on his skin as he parted Armitage’s lips with his, slipping his tongue into Armitage’s mouth as their teeth crashed. He could almost hear the blood rushing in his ears as he clung to him, breathing hard, feeling how every single time their lips parted only to resume the fierce kissing, made that familiar tugging sensation appear again. That almost throbbing pain deep inside that sought for immediate relief.

Gasping, Armitage finally let go, tilting his head back to look at him, pupils dilated so wide his eyes appeared almost black. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against Poe’s lips.

“For what?” Poe asked, placing a foot between Armitage’s feet. He could feel that this kiss hadn’t exactly left no impression on Armitage either. The bulge in Armitage’s crotch against his, made him bite his lip.

“For blowing you off like this.” Armitage swallowed visibly. “But I really don’t want to talk about my father when,” he pressed his hips a bit harder into Poe’s, the sensation making Poe gasp “… you know.”

Poe laughed at this, letting his hands slide down Armitage’s sides. “I want to know,” he whispered back, his voice so low he could barely hear it himself. “But right now, I’d _hate_ to talk about our parents.”

There was a freckle right in the corner of Armitage’s mouth.

“Fine by me.”

“Later.” Poe hesitated. Just because he _felt_ that Armitage was willing to take this to the next level, didn’t mean he was ready to say it. “If… if you want?”

There was no response. Not a verbal one. Armitage held his gaze for a long time and it made Poe want to either crawl in on himself or… or what? The air between them seemed to buzz; electricity that made him forget. That they had a fragile working relationship. That he didn’t know too much about Armitage Hux. That Hux had cried into his shoulder that morning.

All of it was wiped away by just that one look. By Armitage’s nimble fingers pushing up his shirt and starting to push him against the counter. By his hands stroking his stomach, his chest, and his lips drawing closer again. There was a fraction of a second during which Poe felt Armitage’s hot breath hit his lips with such force it made him weak in the knees, before Armitage was kissing him again.

His own hands trailed up and down Armitage’s sides before settling to unbutton the crisp white shirt even more. Two buttons wasn’t nearly enough. Poe still couldn’t quite believe this was happening, but there was nothing for it. No way to deny that this was what he wanted to happen. Every inch of skin was itching for his touch, every breath he took longing to be another sound.

“Wait,” he muttered, his voice nearly swallowed up by Armitage’s mouth. “Let’s get comfortable.”

Armitage’s hand slid down his arm, closing around Poe’s fingers again. “Comfortable?” Armitage asked, eyebrow raised. He looked almost distant again. Distant and superior with a glint of playfulness in his eyes that Poe hadn’t seen there yet. How many other sides did this man have? His own eyes were burning now, his heart racing so fast, he doubted it could take any more of this before it burst with anticipation.

But then Armitage pulled him along through one of the two doors. Out of the corner of his eyes Poe saw the bag with the groceries still lying on the counter, but right he was as close to bringing up the topic of food, when all he wanted to do was to rip the clothes off Armitage. To see him. To kiss him. How important was food anyway when Armitage was standing in front of him, the buttons of his shirt half undone, exposing far more of the milky skin than Poe had dreamed of seeing.

Raising his eyebrow even further, Armitage put a finger on Poe’s lips, so lightly it could barely count as a touch while the kittens and Beebee were sleeping in the corner as though nothing of this could ever impact either one of them. “Stay still,” Armitage whispered, drawing Poe’s attention back to himself. “Let me.”

And Poe let him. Without moving once, or giving in to the urge to reach out and touch Armitage. He let him lift his shirt over his head, let him hesitantly caress his chest and felt how horribly tight his pants were when Armitage stepped closer and squeezed his bottom. With burning eyes he watched as Armitage’s gaze wandered over him, taking him in, until coming to rest on his belt. Armitage paused before gifting him with one of those rare smiles of his. He didn’t pull back when Poe took over, undressing Armitage, inch by inch, his lips moving over every bit of skin he exposed, his hands tracing his contours and wishing he could indeed have all the time in the world to discover them all. All those freckles appearing in the most unlikely places. All those scars from childhood accidents and the more recent ones. The ones left by the cat he’d had no intention of adopting at first. If that cat wasn’t proof that Armitage was a good person, then what was?

He felt Armitage shudder beneath him, felt every ripple of excitement and desire wash over him and let it infect him. 

But before Poe could even get up again and appreciate what he had uncovered, Armitage knelt in front of him so they were nearly eye to eye again. The kiss was more tender this time, lips barely touching before allowing them to come up for air as their breaths intermingled, filling the distance between them. Poe shuffled closer, pressing his lips harder against Armitage’s, aching to feel more of him. To be even closer to feel his cock against his skin as it stood between them, pressing hard against the fabric of Poe’s jeans.

The first trace of Armitage’s moan, made a shiver run down his spine and he hugged him tight against him, slowly and gingerly grinding his crotch against Armitage. The next sound was even more delicious than the first.

“Bed,” Poe whispered between two kisses, breathless already, and Armitage nodded, the movement barely more than a soft bobbing of the head.

When they lay there on the bed. Poe’s hastily stripped jeans forgotten on the floor, their limbs wrapped tightly around each other as they kissed, hands holding onto each other as though for dear life, Poe realized that he had been heading towards this moment from the second he had laid eyes on Armitage. Running, really, since he’d found out about that damn cat.

What he hadn’t expected was Armitage taking over. Armitage taking the lead as he pushed Poe into the pillows and loomed over him, his kisses turning from greedy to tender the further they pushed each, desire washing over them and making them forget everything else.

Poe stared up int Armitage’s eyes, fascinated by the way those green eyes grew dark and started to sparkle the closer they came. Poe could not remember when he’d last felt so sure of himself and at the same time so secure in the arms of someone he himself wanted to protect as Armitage edged them both closer to the edge with every stroke, every breath they exhaled as the air was filled with their soft moans, sounds that made Poe so terribly weak he felt like he was breaking apart.

Armitage bent low over him, eyes shut tight, kissing him feverishly as they both came as one and Poe felt his whole body go slack just seconds after, holding on tightly to Armitage, his jelly-like legs wrapped tightly around the other with his toes still tingling.

They were silent for a moment, just lying there, Armitage’s weight settling against him, lips never leaving the other, not even to properly come up for air.

Armitage’s hands dug into his hair, pulling at it ever so slightly as his hips still rocked ever so lightly against Poe’s.

Still trembling, Poe raised his hand to brush a thumb over Armitage’s cheek, to feel the warmth there and Armitage let himself slide off him, taking Poe’s leg with him as he lay on his side, Poe’s leg wrapped around his. Their noses were touching as they broke apart and Poe felt himself sinking once again into Armitage’s wonderfully green eyes and the softness he could see in them now. Softness and exhaustion and warmth with every veil Armitage had placed around his soul drawn back. At least for a moment.

Poe bit his lip. Outside the sun was starting to set again. Just as it had the first time he had been here. And once again the golden light hit Armitage just perfectly, making the eyelashes seem like they were glowing. “You’re so beautiful,” Poe muttered, tracing Armitage’s cheekbone, satisfied just to lie here, to feel Armitage’s fingertips trailing up his leg.

Laughing, Armitage kissed the tip of his nose. “No need to tell pretty lies just because we just had sex.”

“We did have sex, didn’t we?” Poe grinned, ignoring the sting in his chest at the realization that Armitage really didn’t believe him.

“We did, yes.” Armitage was smiling now. Not smugly, not shyly.

Poe settled his arm around his torso.

“Still think this is a bad idea?”

Who could say? Who could say what the next few days or weeks would bring. Who could say where this was going? But right now, Poe, for the life of him, couldn’t say what the hell could be wrong about this contentment he felt. About how warm and fuzzy his entire body was, or about how much he wanted to hold Armitage and keep holding him for the foreseeable future. “I think this was the best idea I’ve had all day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep... I dared to write some smut. Hope you're okay with it.
> 
> Let me know, please! Your comments are the best encouragement out there.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning in the notes at the end.

Poe stretched out next to Armitage, feeling sweaty and sticky, and as content as he hadn’t in years. After a while of lying there next to each other, breathing heavily, Armitage let Poe to pull him close to his chest.

He was skinny, yet the muscles in his arms and legs were clearly defined. Poe hadn’t expected that, and he hadn’t even really noticed any of it up until now. He’d been far too caught up with those eyes, those lips and hands and everything those things had done to him. He almost felt ashamed of his own small gut which now lay flat as he was lying on his back. Armitage slung his arm around Poe, his head nestled against the crook of his neck. Almost as he had done that morning. But now it felt different. Less desperate.

Poe let his arm slide up and down Armitage’s side, cradling him with the other, watching the sunlight change the colour of his hair to a brown which grew darker with every passing minute. “Are you okay?” he asked, remembering that he had asked that very same question this morning. But this time Armitage didn’t pull away or lower his gaze. Instead, he looked up at him. There was no smile on his face, but the sincerity of his gaze was like a blow to the chest.

“Are you?”

Poe didn't quite manage a grin. Instead, he pressed a kiss to Armitage’s forehead. “I’ve been hoping for this for weeks.”

“You have?”

Scoffing, Poe pulled him closer. “I’m hurt you have to ask.” There was very little doubt that he had been infatuated with Armitage longer than the other way round. A low clicking noise made him turn his head and he watched as Beebee walked over to them, watched closely by Millie, who got up just as Beebee started crawling under the bed.

“Is he alright? Did we scare him?”

“Nah, I don’t think he minded. He likes it underneath furniture, that’s all.” Poe said, his eyes now following Millie on her way out of through the open bedroom door. The kittens were all fast asleep. Even after three weeks they still needed a lot of that it seemed, even though they already almost looked like proper cats. No small wonder Rose and Rey had decided to adopt two of them. Who could blame them?

Armitage’s hand wandered over his chest, coming to rest on his shoulder. He sat up a bit, looking down at Poe again. He pondered for a moment, looking deep into his eyes and seeming to come to a conclusion. “I’m glad you were there today.” He hadn’t added _for me_ , but he hardly needed to. Poe understood without him needing to say it out loud.

Should he ask? Should he ask straight away, or wait for Armitage to come out with it himself? Somehow he doubted Armitage would be completely forthcoming on his own. “What was it-“ he broke off when Armitage kissed him again, pushing him back once more.

But Poe turned his head, closing his eyes as Armitage's lips trailed along his jaw. Swallowing hard, he shook his head and pushed Armitage away a bit. “Come on,” he whispered, lifting Armitage’s head so they were face to face. “I want to know.”

Armitage sat up then, brushing his hand through his hair, which was usually so neat, but which now lay tousled on the top of his head. Poe’s hands had done quite a bit to them. “It’s hard to explain.”

“You know,” Poe answered, folding his hands behind his head as though he didn’t care too much, “It’s Friday night. I don’t have anywhere to be.”

Passing a hand over his face, Armitage looked out of the door into the kitchen where Millie jumped on top of the counter again to sniff at the plastic bag for a moment, before turning her attention to a bowl sitting there. Didn’t Armitage put that stuff on the floor?

“I-“ Armitage said, but he broke off, pulling his legs against his chest and still staring out of the door. Unwilling to look at him. Poe wasn’t even sure he should touch him. Instead, he looked at his back. At the spine and the shoulder blades. At the thin scar running down it. How many were there in addition to those on his torso? Had Armitage been so bad at riding his bike?

Frowning, Poe sat up, his throat tight. How many scars from biking accidents looked like that? And Armitage didn’t seem like the kind of guy who went free climbing or skateboarding or any other dangerous sport. Poe wiped his forehead, closing his eyes. _My father is a jerk._

Those words, which Poe had somehow, inexplicably shrugged off as an explanation for Armitage’s terrible mood. But that wasn’t all, was it? How could it be? How could Poe have ignored this, and seen those scars, and seen how desperate Armitage had been and shrugged off such a statement?! “Armitage…” he whispered. “Tell me?”

A sigh was the first reply. “I’d rather fuck.”

The last word made him flinch. Shivering, Poe scratched his cheek. Armitage had said it twice now, and the word didn’t seem to fit in with his usual vocabulary. Poe didn’t reply. Already what they had done was put into perspective. Armitage had seemed sincere, had seemed desperate to feel and touch him. And maybe he had been. Sincere and desperate to escape something else. Poe wondered when he’d start feeling used.

Armitage’s shoulders sank. “I could do with a smoke.” Was that a smile Poe heard in his voice? He moved forward, leaning on his elbow to look at him. And there it was. The tug at the corners of his lips.

“Armitage,” Poe managed a smile.

He rubbed his fingers together, as though desperate for a cigarette between them and looked down at his feet. He let out a huff. “I got an email,” Armitage said finally. “I don’t even know why it bothered me, it was nothing special, really.”

“What email?”

Armitage didn’t hesitate again, just leaned over the edge of the bed and, while Poe refused to stare at Armitage’s butt, picked up his phone. He tapped the screen a few times, then handed it to Poe. “Read it.”

So much for trust. It was there. More than Poe had earned, probably. But instead of complaining Poe read the message. No greeting. No word of goodbye. Only a few statements and the last one a blow to the gut: 

_I realize you have decided to heed my advice and leave that ridiculous pursuit behind. I know you have taken up a teaching position in Anchorhead. It is not what I would have wanted my son to be, but I do not expect anything else from you._

_I have received the pay check from your last engagement and will be transferring the money to a trust fund. Had you bothered staying a week longer, you would know by now that your step-mother is expecting. Let us hope that child is not a weak nothing like his brother._

“What the…” Poe stared at the lines. “He got your pay check?” It was the least important part of it, Poe knew that, but it was a start. Better to start at the smalles injustice of all.

Armitage let out a huff. “Just the last one.” He blinked up at the ceiling. “I fully expect to receive a proper bill one of these days.”

Dropping the phone on the blanket between them, Poe sat up again and inched closer. “How?”

Armitage shook his head and rubbed his temple. “He paid off the director and made sure I was fired. I bet it was no big problem to get the check, too. Ever since I started working as an actor, he’s been pressing me to stop or pay back my school tuition. Not exactly easy when you only play swing for the first couple of years.”

“You’re not serious.”

“I am.”

What was he supposed to say to that? What on Earth could even begin to express how sorry he was? That email told him all he needed to know about how badly Armitage’s father thought of him. Tentatively Poe touched Armitage’s shoulder, his heart aching to do more, but he knew it wouldn’t do much good. Not in the long run. “That’s why you quit.”

Armitage shrugged, rubbing his temples. He was closing up again, and it was only a matter of time before he would close up once more, shutting him out completely. Poe moved closer, pulling Armitage against his chest. The other did not resist. Instead he rested his forehead against’ Poe’s chest and put his hands on Poe’s.

How to proceed? He couldn’t exactly try to push Armitage even further, when this little remark had been enough to cause this. But at least Armitage had shown him this email. It was more than just one simple thing. “Is being here so terrible?” he asked, burying his nose in Armitage’s hair, inhaling the scent of soap and sweat.

In response, Armitage kissed his collarbone, his breath warm and unwavering on his skin. “Not all the time, no.”

Poe could live with that. Closing his eyes, he pulled Armitage even closer, desperate to tell him how much he wanted to take this pain away. Instead he stared at Armitage’s shoulder, spotting another thin, long scar there. _What happened to you?_ He wanted to ask it so badly, but he didn’t dare to. Not yet anyway. _What else did he do to you?_

“So…” Poe muttered. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to, but if you do… maybe you could tell me. At least some of it.”

Armitage let out a long breath. “Like what?” His voice sounded cold, but the grip of his fingers on his arms tightened. Where to start? How far could he go? What would Armitage allow him to know?

“What happened to your mother?”

“She died.”

He almost laughed. Not because the statement was funny, who would know better than him what it meant to lose a mother, but because the way Armitage said it, so quickly, so flippantly, was almost ridiculous. “Very specific, thank you.” He brushed a hand through Armitage’s silky hair and enjoyed feeling him shudder beneath his touch.

“I was nine,” Armitage said more quietly. “I lived with her. My father was married when he met her and he never told his wife about my mother and me until my mother died. He ignored me most of the time then, but… but when it happened, he took me in.”

“That must have been fun…” What kind of person ignored their child for such a long time? Really… what a jerk.

“You could say that.” Armitage squeezed his hands, as though trying to reassure himself that Poe was still there. “He never really talked about her with me. Only when he was particularly angry… and then he made sure I got the best education possible and I threw it in his face the first chance I got.”

“I really don’t think that’s the case,” Poe murmured, only now realizing he was starting to rock Armitage in his arms, his thumbs gently stroking over the soft skin of his shoulders. “You pursued what you’re best at.”

“Being a failure. Yes.”

“In his eyes.” Poe shook his head, fully aware that telling Armitage that he was more than just a son desperate to fulfil the wishes of an abusive father, wasn’t going to do any good. Not if he told him once or twice or a million times over. That sort of thing often sat too deep. But Poe also understood now what must have gone through Armitage’s mind that day. When the students had crowded in on him like that. But this incident had also shown something else. Something Armitage must have missed. “And the kids were deeply impressed by what they found on the internet. If they weren’t, they wouldn’t have shown you. They respect you for it.” He pressed his lips against the back of Armitage’s head, hoping the message went through to him.

Armitage merely grunted, but he didn’t pull away. “I don’t think I’d mind hearing a couple of more things like that,” he said, sounding sleepy. But before Poe could say more, before he could tell him that he thought it was a great idea that Armitage had started finding people who would adopt some of the kittens, Armitage asked: “What about you? Happy family in a small town and everything?”

“Mostly,” Poe conceded. “Grew up on a farm just out of town, actually. But it was only me and my dad when my mother was killed in action. I was eight.”

“Killed in action?” Armitage sat up and turned around. How weird this was. Just sitting naked on the bed like this. Opposite each other, staring into each other’s eyes, talking about their dead mothers. But Poe didn’t think he minded.

He nodded. “She was a pilot in the Air Force. I wanted to follow in her footsteps at first, but I couldn’t exactly do that do my dad when she died, so I thought becoming a teacher instead wouldn’t be a waste of time.”

“I’m sorry,” Armitage said.

Poe nodded. “Thank you.” He doubted Armtiage wanted to hear he was sorry about his mother too. About how sorry he was that his father had been a jerk and still went out of his way to make Armitage miserable.

“What’s that talk about a brother?” He couldn’t help but ask. It was easier talking about this than about the faint scars on Armitage’s back. Who could even say whether it was going to _be_ a boy? What kind of person just assumed the child their wife was carrying would be a boy? Just, simply, because a girl would be insufferable? Poe felt like punching something, because it wasn’t that hard to guess while Armitage’s father had written this.

Armitage’S eyes turned cold and he quickly lowered his gaze. “My father’s fourth wife is having a baby apparently.”

“Fourth…” Poe nodded. He remembered Armitage telling him he had no idea whether or not he had siblings. Well, now he did know that he would have one. And what a way to find out.

“At least my father can forget about me then.”

“I gotta ask… what the hell does he do? I mean, if he can buy off someone to fire you?”

And there was that sneer again. Armitage quickly closed his eyes, let out a long breath and stared up at the ceiling. “First Order Publishing. Ever heard of them?”

Poe nodded frowning. How could he not? They were one of the most prestigious publishing companies and the owners of one of the largest chains of bookstores. “Sure. He doesn’t own it, does he?”

“No, he’s on the board though. He was on the board of Empire books, too before those merged. And the company doesn’t just deal in books. There’s a lot of other stuff going on that I’m not even supposed to know about.”

“I see… I bet he would’ve liked you to study Business instead, huh?”

“Physics was something he could almost live with… but Music.” He shook his head and then cleared his throat as he started avoiding Poe’s gaze. “Never mind.”

The thing was, though, Poe did mind. He minded a lot. More than he would have ever thought he could about someone he’d only just met. But then again, he couldn’t remember ever having slept with someone this early on. He sighed and took Armitage’s hands into is. the sun had fully set now. “Tell you what,” he said. “I’m gonna make some food, you’re gonna play something on that piano of yours. Does that sound okay?”

On cue, Armitage’s stomach rumbled, making Poe grin.

“Okay.” Poe leaned forward, touching his lips to Armitage’s. How could he stop wanting to do this after the things he’d found out? How, when all he could think about was trying to make Armitage feel better?

“You’re trying to distract me.”

“Do you mind it?”

Armitage shook his head, placed his hands on Poe’s shoulders and scooted closer, so their knees were touching again. “Did it look like I did just now?” Armitage asked, leaning into him and starting to push him back again.

“You’re the one trying to distract me most of the time. Not so hard for you to do that either, it seems.”

“Ridiculous man.”

“Thanks.” Poe laughed. “I’m going to take that as a compliment.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a mention of child abuse in this chapter.
> 
> I hope you're still on board? Poe is off to make some dinner now. Ready? Because I'm not sure he's a good cook yet. What do you think?


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more smut and bad news in this chapter.

Armitage played the piano while Poe moved around the kitchen preparing dinner while both Millie and Beebee were watching his every move. And their efforts didn’t go unnoticed. Every once in a while Armitage peeked a look at the three of them and more than once he found Poe sneaking them titbits of food. His heart leapt just looking at Poe and he found he couldn’t stop smiling. Had he really done this? Taken Poe into his bedroom and done these things to him? Had Poe really let him?

Neither of them had gotten properly dressed again. Poe was just moving around in his jeans, whereas Armitage had at least thrown on his shirt after putting on his own pants. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this comfortable being half naked with another person. With Ben things had been different. Very much so. But that was something he didn’t like thinking about at the moment. Ben was in a different world, much like his father. And yet Brendol Hux had managed to claw his way back into this moment despite Armitage’s best efforts. He knew that Poe guessed more than he let on, but Armitage would not spoil this moment. Not entirely anyway.

When he was done playing the sonata, he let his hands fall into his lap and he looked over at Poe again. Poe was busy with one of the bigger pots, stirring and frowning. Armitage felt his throat go dry just looking at him and every fibre of his being was aching to pull Poe away from the stove and start all over again.

Poe looked up, dark eyes echoing that magnificent smile of his. “Why did you stop playing?” he asked, stretching out a hand to pet Millie. Millie. He had given her that name. What a way to creep up on someone.

“I’d much rather watch you.”

“Fine, cut off my source of entertainment, why don’t you?” Poe wasn’t angry. He rarely ever was. Or at least Armitage hadn’t had a chance to watch him get angry.

Armitage went over to the bookshelves, took out his phone and connected it to the small speaker he’d placed on one of the shelves. Of course it was nothing compared to vinyl, but he hadn’t had the chance, or the funds, to buy a proper record player yet. “Is this okay?” he asked. It was just some instrumental piano music, nothing fancy or special, but good enough to be played in the background. 

“You’ve been avoiding the show tunes,” Poe grinned at the pasta he was stirring.

“Yes, I have,” Armitage answered, putting down his phone and striding over to Poe. “What are you making anyway?”

“You’ve never seen pasta?”

Armitage raised his eyebrows and leaned over one of the pots, not hesitating to put a hand on Poe’s back. It was almost impossible to stop touching him. “Sh,” he said, moving closer and ignoring the pasta shapes in the boiling water and the red sauce simmering in the other pot. He let his lips trail over Poe’s neck, inhaling his scent as his arms went around him. Poe was perfect to hold on to. It was incredible how snugly he fit into his arms. Why hadn’t he done this much sooner?

Swallowing hard, Armitage let his hands wander over his chest again.

“You know, I am trying to make us dinner here?” Poe said, but Armitage ignored him. Already this was starting to get to him and Poe’s skin against his own, made him get hard again.

“This really won’t take long.”

Poe’s chest expanded beneath his arms and Armitage closed his eyes as Poe let his head fall back against his shoulder. “You really don’t like talking too much, do you?”

“Shut up, Dameron.”

The remark earned him a soft chuckle. A sound which reverberated through his own chest, making him feel hot and desperate for more at the same time. He loved this. Adored the sounds Poe was making when he touched him, revelled in the feeling of him, the warmth. This kind of intimacy he couldn’t remember having had with anyone. And no, he hadn’t told Poe everything. Why? What could it possibly change? Wasn’t it enough that Poe already knew more about his family than any other lover he’d ever had?

Poe’s breath hitched when Armitage opened his jeans from behind, pressing into him with closed eyes, lips locked on Poe’s neck. Armitage found Poe’s cock already hard and the sensation of stroking it made Armitage want to do so much more than he already head. This position would be perfect, he thought, but he’d promised to be quick.

“You keep distracting me.”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut it?”

The laugh stopped abruptly the second Armitage’s thumb grazed the tip of Poe’s cock. The sound Poe made instead was like music to his ears. Breathing heavily, he kept stroking him, his own heart racing and his own cock so painfully hard as Poe threw his head back with a loud moan, hips rocking against his, every little sound like a stab to his chest.

Armitage moved closer, pressing his hips firmly against Poe’s buttocks to leave not the shadow of a doubt which kind of impact he was having on him. Seconds later Poe came into his hand his cheek pressed against Armitage’s, eyes closed.

His heart was racing now, perfectly synced up with the Poe’s rapid breathing. Beads of sweat had assembled near Poe’s temples and Armitage kissed them away. He’d done this. He had made Poe look like this. All flushed and trembling and perfectly at ease. It was almost enough. He started letting go of Poe, but the other placed his hand on his.

“No,” he said, his voice pleading. “Just let me catch my breath so I can return the favour.”

The pasta was soggy. Not that Armitage cared.

He was still hot, his pulse racing as Poe forced him to sit in a chair so he could serve him dinner. At this point, Armitage couldn’t even say if Poe was a good or a miserable cook, because all he could do was watch Poe’s lips and shovel food into his own mouth without keeling over. Or asking Poe to do it all over again.

He managed to force down everything on his plate and leaned back in his chair. Within seconds Millie was on his lap, pressing her head against his chest, begging for attention. Here, finally was the welcome distraction.

“Did I do something wrong?” Poe asked, frowning and Armitage quickly shook his head.

“No.” He cleared his throat. “Just… nobody’s ever done that for me before.”

Poe paused, holding his fork inches away from his plate as it dawned on him. “Oh.” He dropped his fork and leaned back to pet his dog. “None of it?”

Armitage looked down at his own plate with a shrug. Better to stare at the china than at Poe’s mouth and recalling what it had felt like. Swallowing hard, he picked up his glass. He raised his hand to pet Millie’s jaw. With a soft meowing noise, she hopped off his lap again to move over back to the bedroom. “Well…”

“Was it okay? I-“

“No!” Armitage said quickly, before even the trace of a doubt could enter Poe’s mind. “No, it was…” he smiled and forced himself to meet Poe’s gaze. Poe was still frowning, but the insecurity was there. What was he to say? _Thank you_ sounded all wrong. Calling it _incredible_ was an understatement. No word could possibly be enough. So, instead, he smiled at Poe and the flicker of doubt vanished.

“Okay,” Poe grinned. “Good.” He stretched. “You know, I-“ His phone was ringing. “Damn it…” he muttered, reaching into his pocket to take a look. “It’s Rey. I’m sorry, I gotta take this.”

Armitage nodded and as Poe picked up the phone, he started clearing away the dishes. Millie had retreated back to the bedroom and Beebee was following her, his tail raised high as Poe moved over to the window, one hand in his pocket the other holding the phone to his ear. “Hi, Rey, what’s up?”

There wasn’t a whole lot to do. To his surprise, Poe was far neater than he would have expected at first. But there was little left but put the pot and the plates into the dishwasher while Poe was listening to Rey. He still wasn’t at all sure he liked the younger woman, but if Poe liked here, he wouldn’t get around spending at least some time with her. He frowned at himself, wondering where that notion had come from that Poe might want to stick around. Nobody else had.

Closing the dishwasher, he leaned against the counter, watching Poe look out the window into the darkness of the street.

“Anything I can do?” Poe asked, sounding choked.

And there it was. That first something that would go wrong. Armitage bit his lip and looked down at his hands. This was just a bit of fun. Really, what was he expecting? Armitage Hux was not relationship material; he wasn’t even sure he wanted to be. But Poe… Poe was good and kind and would get over him soon enough. No doubt about it.

“Okay,” Poe sighed, leaning forward and wiping his brow. “I’ll look in on her tomorrow.” He sat down on the piano stool, face now turned toward Armitage. Deep creases lined his forehead, and his eyes looked wearily down at the tiles. He looked exhausted, Armitage thought. “Thanks for calling, Rey. Yes… Yeah, I’ll talk to you then. Bye.” Pressing his lips into a thin line, Poe leaned forward then, elbows on his knees.

Not just exhausted, Armitage corrected himself. Defeated. And that word popping up in his head, made Armitage move forward, slowly advancing towards Poe with his own heart heavy and a tight knot in his stomach. “What happened?” he asked, feeling his insides twist painfully as Poe looked up at him, his brown eyes nearly black and glistening with tears.

“Leia’s in hospital,” Poe muttered.

Armitage stepped closer, brushing his hand through Poe’s hair, wishing there was something, anything he could say. He really hadn’t expected Poe to react like this. He himself didn’t know Leia Organa well enough to feel anything but remote terror at the idea that his new boss had fallen ill. “What is it?” he prompted, his stomach now a writhing nest of twisted, hot knots as Poe wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tight.

“Rey says Luke, her dad, went over to visit her and she’d fainted. He called an ambulance…”Armitage couldn’t see his face, but he felt the hot wetness of Poe’s tears against his skin. The sensation made him want to hug Poe even tighter, knowing full well that it wouldn’t help. Not much at least. But a little was better than nothing.

“Do they have an idea what it might be?”

He shrugged and sniffed. “They’re still running tests apparently.”

“I had no idea you were so close…” Armitage muttered, resting his one hand on Poe’s shoulder while the other kept pushing through Poe’s hair. “I’m sorry.” And he really was. Organa had given him a job, had set on employing him, without second-guessing him. If Poe respected, even loved her like this, then she was bound to be a truly decent person. He leaned over and kissed the top of Poe’s head.

“Yeah, we are.” Clearing his throat, Poe pulled away and wiped his face. “I’m a mess… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Armitage shook his head, wondering when Poe would take up and go. To be alone with this. To work through this. “It’ll be okay.” The words felt wrong as he said them and he heard how hollow they sounded in Poe’s despair.

“Would you mind…” Poe said, looking up at him again, “if I stayed tonight? I’m not sure I can get through the night on my own.”

His heart skipped a beat, but he did his best not to feel too excited by this. Poe needed someone by his side. Armitage was at hand. The fact that he was this worried about Organa only proved that Poe was a good man. A man full of empathy.

Armitage nodded. “Of course.” He leaned over again, pressing his lips to Poe’s head. To provide comfort.

To hide his own face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	17. Chapter 17

Leia was still in intensive care. No way for him to visit her, Rey told him.

Damn it, he’d known something was up! He’d known Leia should have gone to see a doctor sooner, but there were few people more stubborn than Leia Organa Solo. So, instead of rushing off to the hospital first thing in the morning, he asked Armitage to accompany him to his dad’s house. It wasn’t the best of ideas, he knew that. He and Armitage had only just started on this weird journey, and Poe knew his dad could easily become overexcited about this kind of thing. But he felt he needed to share this with Armitage. And he needed to be out of his provider’s cell service. And still he kept checking his phone every ten minutes or so.

Somehow he had imagined Armitage would refuse, that he would tell him there was too much work to be done, but he agreed readily enough and came along. He didn’t even appear too intimidated by the prospect of meeting Kes Dameron, or by what being introduced to Poe’s dad might mean.

Poe himself had no idea. All he knew was that after the news about Leia, he needed to see his dad. He needed to be home. And he wanted Armitage by his side when he went there.

It felt natural to drag him through the house, to show him every room, even the attic where all of his old comic books were stored. His heart only started to flutter when he showed Armitage into his childhood bedroom. Somehow he was sure he’d feel more at ease showing him his own apartment first, but apparently he hadn’t thought this through. No, he corrected himself, leaning in the doorway as Armitage stepped in, hands clasped behind his back, looking at the framed pictures on the walls. Pictures of friends, of his mother. Posters of movies he loved and the one of his favourite soccer team. A bookshelf overflowing with books he hadn’t taken with him when he left for college.

Armitage bent over, looking at the well-read spines of classics.

“Anything you like in there?” Poe dared ask, finding he couldn’t suppress a grin when Armitage turned around with a raised eyebrow. “You read an awful lot of English classics, don’t you? _The Woman in White_ with your students, _The Lord of the Rings_ _…_ ”

“You read young adult time-travel romance.” He’d picked up the book from Armitage’s nightstand and quickly dropped it when Armitage returned to bed.

“Don’t be so cocky, Vice-Principal Dameron. I saw those Twilight books.” He tapped the uppermost shelf and returned his grin before turning his attention to one of the posters. “And you appeared to have a crush on Marky Mark. Very interesting.”

“Yeah, I figured out I was gay pretty early on.” He leaned his head against the doorway as well and watched Armitage approach the window, while downstairs his father was preparing lunch. Kes hadn’t said much, but he’d looked surprised, but pleased when Armitage got out of the car with Poe.

“Your taste in mean has changed, clearly,” Armitage commented, leaning on the windowsill to look down at the barn. 

Poe chuckled and approached him, hugging him from behind. “I’d say it has improved.” He kissed his neck. “Is this okay for you? Being here?”

Armitage nodded and leaned back to capture Poe’s lips. When he pulled away, he was smiling. “How badly is your father taking it?”

“He’s thrilled. Don’t you smell fried potatoes? That’s what he makes whenever he’s excited.”

Nudging his side, Armitage leaned back against him and Poe leaned his head against his shoulder. “Apart from those Twilight books, you appear to have good books here though… despite your fondness of breaking their spines.”

“A book needs to look like it’s been read.”

“I didn’t know I was dating a caveman.”

“Is that what this is?” Poe asked, his heart pumping loudly as he squeezed Armitage. “Dating?”

“You don’t seem to be too fond of the other word I would use. You’ve only used it once since I’ve known you.”

Poe grinned into the fabric of Armitage’s shirt. “You’ve only known me for a couple of weeks. You’ve only _known_ me in the biblical sense for about eighteen hours.”

“Has it been that long already?” Poe could hear the smile in his voice.

“Say it anyway? I love your accent.”

Armitage scoffed. “You know there are millions of people who sound like me.”

“Yes, maybe, but I don’t think I’ve ever been attracted to one of them.”

Armitage squeezed his hand in response. “What’s that?” He turned his head and pulled out of Poe’s embrace and reached for the space between the desk and the window. “I didn’t know you played the guitar.”

“You didn’t ask.” The thing was, he wasn’t entirely sure he’d wanted Armitage to know. How could he, when Armitage was such an excellent piano player and a professional musician? But Armitage pulled out the battered old guitar, the first one Poe had ever owned and wiped the dust off the side of it.

“Would you mind playing?”

Poe forced a smile. “Yes, I would,” he said, but he took the instrument when Armitage gave it to him without hesitating. There was no way around it, he knew that. Armitage could be insistent. “I’m not very good, though.”

“Let me be the judge of that, will you?”

His heart was picking up pace again as he sat down on the bed. Years and years ago, when he was about fifteen, he had found this guitar at a flea market and had begged his father to buy it for him. He’d played, or rather tried to play, for a few months, before giving it up. At least until he was a few years older and desperate to impress this guy he liked. Not to much avail. The guy had been straight as they could get. Really, Poe thought, he hadn’t had much luck in that department. First Eli Vanto, then Din Djarin, and finally Finn. There hadn’t been a whole lot of men in his life, but he hadn’t managed to cling to one of them.

Armitage sat down next to him. “Go on?”

“You know I have to tune it first, don’t you?” Swallowing hard, he started plucking the strings and adjusting the tuning keys, all the while fully aware that Armitage’s eyes were on him, following his every move. As soon as he was more or less satisfied with the result, he took a deep breath and looked at Armitage over his shoulder.

When Poe had woken up, Armitage had already been busy in the kitchen, feeding both Millie and Beebee with some ground beef he had cooked especially for the two of them. Poe had lain in bed, watching him and wondering what it would be like to wake up to this every single day. But instead of calling out to Armitage, he had moved over to the kittens and lain on the cool tiles next to them, picking up one by one, unable to decide which one to cuddle. It had been easier to focus on them than on the possibility of Armitage throwing him out.

But here he was. Sitting next to him, eagerly awaiting him to start playing. “Promise you won’t laugh?”

Armitage didn’t even laugh at this. Instead, he let himself fall back onto the blankets. “I promise,” he said and Poe nodded.

Not that this statement had made him feel any more confident, but it was a nice notion that Armitage wouldn’t make fun of him. Was Armitage even the kind of person for that sort of thing?

Poe pushed the thought away and started playing without wasting another minute. Just a simple melody. Something he knew by heart as his pulse raced, fully aware that Armitage was still looking at him. The knot in the pit of his stomach was getting harder and harder to ignore, but he kept playing, even as he sensed the mattress shift with Armitage sitting up again.

He didn’t look up, unable to meet Armitage’s gaze, which made his fingers sloppy and inept. He slipped more than once, but at least he was playing. One song. Two. Three. All the while Armitage didn’t say a word. When he was done, he felt Armitage’s hand on his cheek and he followed along as Armitage turned his head.

For a moment Poe wondered if he’d expected Armitage to smile at him. If he had, he still wouldn’t have been disappointed by the look Armitage gave him instead. His eyes were wide, full of warmth and desire and something else. Poe only dared call it affection. His heart leapt now and his eyes fell shut as Armitage drew closer, their noses brushing briefly before their lips met in a kiss so tender it made Poe’s toes curl.

They only broke apart, when they heard footsteps outside in the corridor, but still Armitage didn’t pull away completely. Instead he leaned his forehead against Poe’s his eyes closed.

“We should talk about this,” Poe breathed before his father had reached the door and Armtiage’s eyes snapped open. “For real.”

Before Armitage could answer, Poe heard his father clearing his throat and Armitage moved away from him, as though caught in something he shouldn’t be doing. It was weird to see him behaving like a teenager.

“Lunch is ready, if you want any?” Kes said and Poe carefully put his guitar back on the bed.

“Sure, thanks, dad.”

Kes Dameron cut an impressive figure. He was not exactly taller than his son, but far more muscular and there was significantly less bookishness about him. Not that Armitage would ever have called Poe bookish, but in comparison to his father, her was.

The house exuded, above all, cosiness and the feeling of home. Kes had no small role in that part, Armitage thought, as he followed Poe and his father down into the dining room. The assembled furniture didn’t look like it had been bought with interior design in mind, but rather with comfort and practicality. The couch, on which Beebee was sleeping on his back, was ancient, as were the chairs and the table in the dining area.

Kes had already laid the table, which robbed Armitage of the excuse to make himself useful, just for something other to do than sit here and feel on edge and like he was being scrutinized. He was a grown man, for heaven’s sake! Shouldn’t he be more confident?!

“So, Armitage, you just moved here?”

What a question…Armitage caught Poe’s eye from across the table, a look like a pinch in the side. He’d felt that so often recently. And now Poe wanted to talk… did Armitage want to talk? Was there even anything to talk about? “Yes,” he said quietly, looking down at his plate of fried potatoes and peas and sausage. “Yes, I did.”

“How terrible do you find it here then?”

“Dad!”

Kes laughed and Armitage chanced a look at him. “I can ask, right?”

“It’s alright,” Armitage said with a shrug. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to get down an awful lot. Being alone with Poe in his room was one thing. Being in the company of a third person was completely different. It made him feel self-conscious. More than he had since coming here. More than he had since his father had cornered him after that very last performance to crush every bit about that show which had been good and pure.

“Poe says you’re a Music teacher?”

“You talked about me?” Armitage asked, looking at Poe now. But Poe didn’t row back or protest. He merely shrugged, his attention on his peas.

“I just mentioned the new colleague.”

“No, you didn’t mention you were together,” Kes said, the last word cutting through Armitage like a knife. Together… was that what they were? Together?

“We-“ Armitage began, but Poe shook his head, interrupting him. “How’s the harvest going, dad? Anything I can do to help?”

Kes started to say something, when Armitage flinched. His phone was buzzing, making him sit bolt upright.

“You have reception here?!” Poe asked incredulously, but Armitage merely shrugged before reaching for his phone and looking at the caller-ID. It was as though the ground had been ripped from beneath his feet. He got up and left the room, muttering an excuse without being able to look Poe in the eye.

He walked past Beebee, hoping the call would end before he reached the front door. But it didn’t.

Swallowing hard, he picked up, his hand trembling. “Ben, what is it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger!! Wow, I can't believe I have only 6 more days of NaNo left! I'm not entirely sure this story will be done by the end of November tbh, but I'll reach the 50 k mark in any case :-P I might need a bit longer than that. Hope that's okay. ;)
> 
> Take care, guys!


	18. Chapter 18

** Chapter 18 **

****

Poe was waiting for him in the living room, hands in his pockets as though trying not to be the object of attention. “What is it?”

Armitage shook his head, passing a hand over his face. “I guess Organa’s brother called him,” Armitage said hoarsely and Poe’s eyes widened in shock.

“Is Leia…”

“No!” Armitage said quickly, biting back the _not yet._ It was a cruel thing to say, and he had no desire to make this even worse for Poe. Instead, he said: “He’s coming here, though.” He could still hear that voice. It was stuck inside his head. Inside his very bones.

“Who is?”

“Ben,” Armitage said, clearing his throat and peering into the dining room. Kes was standing in the doorway, his posture an exact copy of his son.

Armitage stood up straight, his shoulders squared. “He wants to check up on business in the next big city anyway.” He did not need to go into much detail. Poe’s eyes widened and he stepped closer to him, placing his hands on Armitage’s sides, the touch urging him to give in.

“When’s he coming here?”

Armitage shrugged.

“Leia’s and Han’s boy is coming home?” Kes asked and Armitage looked over to him, relieved to see a frown there. He didn’t know exactly why, but at least he knew that frown was not directed at him, Armitage.

“Yes, Sir.”

He felt Poe’s hands shift at his sides, wishing that touch could be enough to drive the tension from his body. But it couldn’t. It couldn’t even begin to.

“I don’t think he’s talked to Leia that much since he moved away. At least she doesn’t mention him too often.” There was no smile on Poe’s face. No empathy for the man he was speaking about and Armitage couldn’t blame him. The only selfless thing Ben Solo had ever done for him was to call his mother to get him a job far away from his father. And that he’d only done out of pity, Armitage knew. Because, had Ben put a real effort into it, he could have fired Brendol, or made sure Armitage got another job in the business. But instead Ben had decided to get Armitage out of his way and appease Brendol at the same time.

“Come on, let’s finish lunch,” Poe whispered, taking Armitage’s hands into his. “I’ll take you home later, okay?” Was Armitage that obvious in showing he wanted to be alone in this? Swallowing hard, he nodded, gave Poe’s hands a squeeze and took a step away from him to follow Kes into the dining room.

Armitage didn’t talk much. Not that he’d ever been a big talker, but he was even more subdued now, and there was no question the reason was Ben Solo’s phone call.

There were about a trillion questions he wanted to ask Armitage now, but with his dad around, there was no real chance of that happening. He and his father talked most of the time, trying to include Armitage as much as possible, but Armitage wasn’t at all forthcoming with information about himself. It was frustrating to watch.

They started getting ready to leave soon after, the painful knot in Poe’s stomach getting worse by the minute. Beebee was out the door first, closely followed by Armitage, who thanked Kes for lunch as cordially as possible. It was so much in tune with the stereotypical Englishman, Poe almost smiled. Almost.

As Poe started after them, he felt Kes’ hand on his arm. “He seems nice,” Kes said quietly, though his eyes showing nothing of the excitement Poe had expected and secretly hoped for.

“He is,” Poe said firmly and Kes nodded.

“Come back next weekend if you can, okay?”

“At the latest, dad.” Poe clapped his father on the shoulder and started off down the stairs towards the car where Armitage was already leaning against the passenger side, swiping his thumb over his phone screen with Beebee sitting neatly at his feet. “He said he likes you,” Poe whispered, exaggerating slightly, but who gave a damn, really? He watched as Armitage’s head jerked up to look at Kes standing in the doorway.

“He does?” Armitage asked with a raised eyebrow and opened the door. Beebee jumped in first to sit in the footwell.

“He does.” Poe confirmed, reaching for Armitage’s hand the moment he sat down beside him. “Thank you for coming with me.”

Armitage nodded, rubbing his thumb over Poe’s hand one moment and focusing on his phone the next.

“What are you looking up?” Poe asked before starting the engine and steering the car down the driveway.

“Don’t be mad,” Armitage began, sighing and frowning at his phone. “Flight times.”

Poe’s stomach lurched and he almost hit the breaks. This couldn’t be happening. Not right now. Armitage couldn’t be leaving. “You’re kidding.”

“I want to be prepared for when Ben shows up.” Armitage sighed and leaned his head against the window.

“What’s he like?” Asking this question was easier than trying to wrap his head around the fact that Ben was coming back because Leia was in hospital with a serious condition. Better to focus on that.

“Incredible in bed.” Armitage answered with a snort and a sidelong glance at Poe. Beebee jumped on his lap and Armitage started rubbing the dogs chest immediately. “But he’s also a jerk and much worse things.”

“I’m not entirely sure I can take that as a compliment,” Poe muttered, ignoring the burning anger in the pit of his stomach. No… not anger. Something else he could identify immediately and which made him want to pull over and take a very long walk.

“You should.”

Poe’s eyes were fixed on the road, desperate to look anywhere but at Armitage. The mere thought of Ben coming here, no matter what Armitage said about him now, was upsetting to say the least. That guy hadn’t been there for his mother. Not even when his father died, had he shown up here, but now he made a move to show? Why?

“He’s the CEO of First Order and as power hungry as they get. There was never anything more than sex and throwing that into my father’s face first chance he got. We were exclusive though. That ought to count for something maybe.”

Poe swallowed hard. “Why would he do that? If he hates your dad, he could just throw him out, couldn’t he?”

“My father does most of the dirty work.” Armitage scoffed. “I doubt Ben would find anyone as willing to be as ruthless about ruining people’s lives to make it easier FO can buy up their companies.”

“Ruthless?” Poe prompted despite himself? “How do you mean? Like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman?”

Armitage snorted and Poe chanced a look at him. Armitage had pressed his fist against his lips, his eyes fixed on something in the distance while he held Beebee close to his chest. “Never mind.”

“Come on, tell me.”

Armitage shook his head. “I shouldn’t even have mentioned it.”

“Yes, you did.” Poe turned his attention back on the road. Up ahead he could already see the first builings of Anchorhead. “Go on.”

Armitage cleared his throat. “Let’s just say that not all of his methods are legal. Does that satisfy your curiosity?”

No. It would have been the easiest answer, but he was sure Armitage could not be bothered to expand upon this comment now. With a scoff, Poe turned left, heading straight towards Armitage’s place. The silence between them stretched on, filled with questions Armitage hadn’t answered and making it impossible for Poe to say something else. Anything that might jeopardise what they had here.

He pulled up exactly where he had parked the car the previous evening. To think that this hadn’t even gone on this long, and already he was jealous. Already he was dreading watching Armitage leave. “Armitage,” he began and lost his nerve almost straight away. Armitage made no sign to invite him back up again. What he wanted was to stay. To ask him all the questions he needed answered. Not just because he wanted to get to know him, because that _was_ a huge part of it, but also because he wasn’t sure how he’d deal with the knowledge that Leia was fighting for her life right there and then.

“Why don’t I come over to your place tonight?” Armitage asked.

For a moment there Poe was tempted to tell him no. Simply out of spite. But of course that was impossible and childish. Just looking at Armitage and meeting that sea green gaze made him want to beg him to come over straight away. “What about those kittens?” He shook his head. “Let me come over later on? I’m gonna give you some space if you want?”

Armitage nodded, eyes trained on the apartment door. “Come with me now?” His voice sounded softer than it had. Softer and more vulnerable than before. He clutched his hands into Beebee’s hair and quickly lowered his gaze to stare at his shoes instead. “Of course I want you here.” It was hard for him to say it. Hard for him to say these things out loud. And he looked down at his feet so often. Poe had figured that out some time ago. Either Armitage looked at his feet, withdrew into himself or lashed out. Either one frustrating. Either one made him angry. Not necessarily at Armitage, though. Being jealous was easier.

Poe took his hand without hesitating a single moment longer and lifted it to his lips. “I’m coming up with you then.” He smiled and squeezed his hand. “But you may have to lend me your laptop so I can answer some work mails.”

“Fine,” Armitage said, his shoulders sagging as some of the tension left his body.

“I want to know more about you, though,” Poe said. “I know it’s probably not easy for you, but I want to know. I want to help if I can and if you let me. Please.”

Still, Armitage wasn’t looking at him. He let out a sigh and Poe decided not looking at him was better than the evasion tactic or lashing out. For a moment there Poe was almost sure he was going to open the door and leave. Already his fingers closed around the handle, but then Armitage shut his eyes tight and let himself fall back against the seat, eyes trained at the ceiling. “I’ve never done this,” he said, “talked like this. Nobody wanted to know, and I get it.” He swallowed visibly. “It’s not a fun story and you have other things to worry about. Especially with this Leia situation right now.”

“Let me worry about what I’m worrying about, okay?” He wanted to know. He wanted to see and to hold him and hear it all. “I want to be with you. Not just for this weekend, alright?”

Armitage pulled a face and then, finally, he turned his head to look at Poe again. “Let’s see how long it lasts, okay? Let’s not make any promises.”

Poe Dameron had never been the kind of guy to date someone casually. Never. He just wasn’t in that mindset, no matter how desperately he’d wanted to sleep with Armitage, he’d always known there were more complications involved. “No promises,” he said, unable to hold a grin. He wouldn’t let this go. Not easily. That was a promise he made to himself. And Armitage didn’t need to know. “Let’s just say that we’ll still be able to work together, okay? No matter what.”

With a scoff, Armitage shook his head. “Look at you,” he muttered, freed his hand and touched his cheek. He looked like he was about to say something else, but instead he just shook his head. “Come on, I need some tea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is progressing amidst all this relationship drama... what are your thoughts on Ben and Brendol Hux! I'd love to hear your predictions!!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning in the notes at the end.

Tea, coffee and cookies.

That was the first order of business right after they had taken care of the kittens. Beebee had taken his place on the blanket which Armitage had put down next to the box. The furballs were a lot more active today than they had been the previous evening, but Poe hardly paid them any notice. No matter how much he adored them, there was nothing like wiping cookie crumbs off Armitage’s chin with his thumb. It was the perfect distraction.

They were sitting on Armitage’s couch, working, hugging, kissing, occasionally looking at the television without paying too much attention to what the hell was going on there. Poe watched Armitage take a bite from his cookie and once again there were crumbs sticking to his chin. It was almost as though Armitage was going out of his way to make Poe touch him.

Sitting up, Poe brushed a hand through Armitage’s hair. “What are you working on?” he asked without peeking at the tablet in Armitage’s lap, although he was damn curious about what he might be working on.

“You said I should put some thought into doing something for the Christmas Fair.”

Poe nodded, withdrawing his hand and closing Armitage’s laptop. Thank the heavens for data clouds. “And?” he asked, relieved to be able to put off the email to the council about taking over more responsibilities at school for as long as Leia was unable to.

With a huff, Armitage frowned at the screen, twirling the stylus between his fingers. “I was thinking…” he scratched his cheek, then tapped his nose. “I could set up a group of kids to perform Christmas Carols?” He frowned at his tablet? “Like a jukebox?”

His lips stretched into a wide grin as he watched Armitage cross his legs and twirl the stylus some more. He’d been taking notes on that thing. Did he work with paper at all? “How do you mean?”

“Well, we could practice the songs and build a jukebox? Put a kid inside and when someone pays, that kid gets out and announces the song to the choir. That’s when the kids perform the song.”

Poe laughed, throwing back his head.

“So bad?”

“No!” Poe shouted, clapping his hands. “That’s wonderful! Can you imagine Christopher or Mark and Nick?” He shook his head and nodded vigorously. “That’s perfect!”

Armitage looked at him, the worry in his eyes melting away to reveal a something else. His brows were furrowed, his lips set in a tight line, but a glinting in his eyes showed Poe all too clearly that Armitage was pleased. Pleased with Poe’s reaction, but most of all with himself. He nodded. “I’ll make a list of students I’m going to need to talk to.”

“Wait,” Poe said, stretching out his hand to place it on his knee. “You can keep working, but I want to know something first.”

Pulling a face, Armitage put the tablet away and folded his hands in his lap. He was clearly doubting how wise it had been to agree to Poe’s condition. But then he looked at Poe again and at least some of the doubts seemed to vanish. At least his face relaxed somewhat. “Go on, then.”

“Which roles did you play?”

“Dear God…” Armitage threw his head back to look at the ceiling.

“You’re proud of it, don’t tell me you’re not.”

Armitage’s fingers started tapping his knee. “I am.” He paused for a moment, then he took a deep breath. “I was part of the _Spamalot_ tour,” he said finally, “Sir Robin. My first engagement after I stopped teaching. I was really lucky I landed that role. My father didn’t find out then.”

“Ah,” Poe said, biting his tongue to hold back a laugh. He would have loved to see Armitage pretending to ride a horse on stage with minstrels singing about how brave he was in the face of numerous dangers. “Bravely bold Sir Robin.” He nodded and then held his chin high and allowed himself a grin. “Rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin.” He cleared his throat as Armitage’s eyes widened in surprise and sat up straight. Emboldened by this reaction, Poe started singing: “ _He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin! He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp-_ _“_ Armitage started laughing now, his ears beginning to turn pink as he watched Poe with gleaming eyes so full of warmth, it made Poe’s chest feel like it was five sizes bigger than normal. _“_ _Or to have-_ _“_

Abruptly, Armitage leaned forward, cutting him off with a kiss, so deep and passionate, Poe couldn’t even begin to put up his defences. He loved that look Armitage had just given him. Loved the gleaming in his eyes… but this kiss. It was something. A promise of more things that might come tonight. “You’re such a nerd.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Yes, well,” Armitage sat back again, grinned and stretched out his long leg, only to let it fall back in place. “After that there were a couple of swing engagements.”

“That sounds really dirty.”

“It’s when you understudy a couple of roles but also take on a regular spot in the ensemble. So when one of the main actors falls ill, the swing takes over.”

“Huh…” Poe said, “More stressful than dirty, then?”

Armitage nodded. “It was.” He was still smiling, but there was a longing in his eyes that nothing but that life, which was now so far away, could satisfy. “But worth it. Every minute of it. That’s when I first hooked up with Ben… and that’s also when my father found out what I was doing.”

“How did you two meet?” Poe cocked his head, aching to touch Armitage again, but he knew this wasn’t the right place or time.

“Back then it looked like coincidence… I guess he was just aching to dig up some dirt on me to humiliate my father… I don’t know. But I guess we were fond of each other. In a way.” He shrugged. “And then I moved to Les Miz and I was the direct understudy to Marius.”

“Ah, the lovesick puppy.”

“If you want to put it like that.” Armitage snorted and shook his head. “There’s something about him. I liked playing him. I mean, not the love story, but his relationships to people. He’s genuine and loyal and so devoted to his friends he is determined to die with them rather than follow his love to the ends of the Earth. There’s something about that notion I like.” He shrugged. “Although I have to admit, he’s pretty damn stupid when it comes to his relationships with everyone who’s not part of the Amis d’ABC.”

“Sorry what?” The sudden, pitch perfect French accent displayed in these few words took Poe completely by surprise. Rose would be so impressed by this.

“I thought you read the book?!”

“I did! Poe threw up his hands and shook his head. “But I can’t remember that.”

“The students who start building the barricades on which everyone dies. You know, Enjolras, Grantaire…”

“Yes, yes, I remember. Sorry! So! So, you played Marius! That’s cool!”

“For half a year.” Armitage nodded. “So, until fairly recently. It was fun, and I got to go on stage and do a proper show several times. It was,” he sighed, “incredible to work with all these people. Really nice people, too.”

“And there was no one better around for you to… play with? Other than your father’s worst enemy and boss?”

Armitage raised his eyebrows at him. “I played with six different Valjeans.”

Poe burst out laughing, passing his hands over his face. “On stage?”

Picking up his tablet again, Armitage scrolled over his notes. “Only with two of them. After everyone had already left the theatre.”

Still grinning, Poe put his arm over the back of the sofa and leaned in. “Okay, I’d like to know more about that.”

“Yes, I bet you would,” Armitage said, smiling at the screen and adding a couple of extra notes without looking at Poe. “But you haven’t told me about yourself. You only ask questions.”

“Well, you never ask any.”

“That,” Armitage said, looking up again with a raised eyebrow, “does not mean I do not want to know.”

“So…” Poe began, letting his fingertips slide over the back of his neck, “you’re saying you care?”

At this Armitage let out a low laugh and he leaned in again to kiss the corner of Poe’s mouth. Just a tease. Nothing more, but it was enough of an invitation to throw both of his arms around Armitage to pull him close.

“So?” Poe prompted, making Armitage grin a bit wider.

“I care,” Armitage finally said and those two words hit Poe harder than he would have expected. Two days, he reminded himself, this has only gone on for two days.

“Alright.” Poe nodded and starting to shift so he was sitting on Armitage’s lap, his legs on either side of him. Trapping him. Just in case Armitage decided to run. He was worrying about nothing though. Armitage put his hands on Poe’s hips, giving them a slight squeeze.

“Are you spending the night again?”

“Sure,” Poe said, “but you may have to lend me some clothes.”

“They will all be terribly tight on you.” The smile was turning into a grin. With every passing second, Armitage’s eyes shone brighter. “I like that concept.”

“It’s not terribly nice to point out I’m a lot chubbier than you.”

Armitage shook his head and let his hands wander up Poe’s arms. “It’s not what I meant. I-“ he bit his lip, and that exact same look, that very same look he’d had when he had come in Poe’s arms the previous evening, appeared before Poe’s eyes again. It was so similar to this one. Armitage biting his lips, his cheeks flushed with arousal, his eyes wide and warm. “I believe I don’t just care about you.” He was saying it slowly, hesitantly. Like he wasn’t used to saying these things. Like he had to think over every single word carefully so as not to let something slip that was wrong. “I like you… and I’m glad you’re staying to… to put on my shirt tomorrow.”

Poe nodded appreciatively, his right hand casually slipping beneath Armitage’s collar. “Kinky.” Grinning widely, he leaned in again, capturing Armitage’s lips with his. “And maybe, when we’re done, you can tell me about a couple of crazy things you got up to.”

Armitage really was the perfect fit. His body seemed to be made to fit around his; his legs the perfect shape to fit between Poe’s. It was so easy to fall back into this position. So easy to find the exact right way to hold him against his chest, so Armitage could hear how rapidly his heart was racing.

“So much for work…” Armitage muttered sleepily against Poe’s chest. “This is gonna affect my career…”

Chuckling, Poe passed his hand through Armitage’s silky hair. He could still feel it, the lingering sensation of Armitage buried deep inside of him. The shuddering waves of orgasm still clinging to every fibre of his being. “You know, your boss is far too tired to notice your lessons for next week aren’t half as good prepared as the previous ones.”

“I’m just glad my boss never saw a single one of my lessons.”

“Your boss is impressed with what you’re doing, and glad to have a Music teacher at all.”

“Thanks for the compliment, Dameron.”

“You’re welcome, Hugs.” Poe cocked his head and moved his hand to Armitage’s cheek. To the trace of stubble growing there. Armitage had shaven this morning, but clearly he hadn’t done it as neatly as normally. “I wonder what you’d look like with a beard. I’d love to see that.”

Armitage merely grunted and hugged Poe tighter, his lips shifting from Poe’s chest to his neck. “Not gonna happen.” The scruff of his stubble was itchy against Poe’s skin, but he couldn’t say he disapproved.

“Fine,” Poe shrugged. “I’m just gonna have to drag you camping without a razor for a couple of days. We’ll see what happens then.”

“Good luck, dragging me out into the middle of nowhere.”

“No fun?”

“No fun.” Armitage’s slender fingers glided over his chest now, tracing patterns that Poe couldn’t quite make out. It was exhilarating, the things Armitage came up with, seemingly out of the blue. “Drag me some place nice, please.”

Poe chuckled. “Fine,” he said.

“What about your crazy adventures then? You promised.”

He found himself grinning. “The craziest thing involves a camping trip. I don’t believe I’ve ever been with someone anywhere really weird, like on a stage.” He felt Armitage’s fingers digging into his side and laughed. “No, seriously… but the first guy I slept with was ten years older than me, and it was incredible.” Shaking his head, he looked down at Armitage. “Nice guy, really. Never saw him again after. I was in college and it was fun, but… well, to be fair, I like it better with you.”

“Thanks for comparing me to others…”

“I didn’t mean it like that… I like what we have.” Poe hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether it was too early to say things like this, especially since they had agreed not to make any promises. But hadn’t he dived into this headfirst, deciding he didn’t care about the complications? And why shouldn’t he tell the truth? He’d never been a particularly good liar or actor. “I like it a lot more than anything else I’ve ever had with anyone.” It wasn’t just physical attraction, although that played a huge part, no doubt about that. He liked uncovering the mystery that was Armitage Hux and finding that Armitage was a far, far better man than he’d ever let on.

Armitage grunted. “I get that,” he answered, his voice flat. He didn’t look up at Poe, but Poe felt him move in closer.

Poe’s eyes landed on that scar again. The one on Armitage’s shoulder blade. There were more. More on his chest and stomach, and of course the one on his shoulder. Poe had paid special attention to them this time around. “What happened here?” he asked, changing the subject abruptly and bracing himself for Armitage pushing him away with all his might. Armitage stiffening in his arms was to be expected. Armitage burying his face against his neck not so much. His hand balled into a tight fist and Poe felt the other’s breath hard and hot against his skin.

“I’m sorry,” Poe said, unable to withdraw his question, no matter how badly he wanted to, if only to stop Armitage from hurting. But he couldn’t. Because him caring about Armitage, or liking him, was a bit of an understatement. Poe had fallen for him. Hard. And he wouldn’t pull back until he knew more. Until his suspicions were confirmed.

Another deep breath. “It’s what happened when you broke something in my father’s house.”

Poe’s heart contracted painfully. There it was. The bit of truth he’d been aching for. To hear it was so different from guessing it. So different from seeing the scars and feeling Armitage’s pain reverberating through his own body. A shrill and yet faint echo of that pain. He couldn’t speak. His mouth seemed to be glued to the top of his mouth. Stuck like a fly on flypaper.

“It was during one of the first weeks… I came down one night to fetch a glass of water when I heard _him_ talking to a business friend. I was curious… listened at the door.”

Poe still didn’t speak. Words failed him. He could just about imagine that young boy, scrawny and tall for his nine years, just having lost his mother, stuck in a big house with a man and a woman he barely even knew. Armitage standing by a dark oaken door leading into a luxurious office as the man who was his father talked about _business._

“Something about one guy being unwilling to sell, I’m not even sure anymore. But it became clear very quickly that they were going to do something _drastic._ ” Poe felt him swallowing and he carefully raised his hand to place it on Armitage’s arm. Something, anything to make this easier for him. “And then I heard steps on the other side of the door. I must have jumped or something, because next moment that table with the vase had fallen over and my father was standing in front of me, shouting. There was just that one punch, but it was enough. I landed in the shards. Hard… his wife had to take me to the emergency room.”

Poe did his best to swallow the anger. To force it down, because it wouldn’t help Armitage at all. “Why didn’t he at least do it?” he asked through gritted teeth, because he knew the answer. The man was a coward. Nobody like that could face the accusing stares of doctors and nurses.

“Drunk… as usual at that time of night.” Armitage cleared his throat. There were more stories like that. Poe knew there must be. He knew there must be one for each and every scar. There must be even more for the wounds you couldn’t see.

“Come here,” he muttered, pulling Armitage closer so he could rest his chin on Armitage’s head. There was a soft rustling sound as Beebee jumped on top of the bed and Millie and her kittens started moving about as well. How strange that after such a big confession life went on as usual.

Armitage didn’t speak, but his muscles were tense, even with Poe stroking him. It wasn’t enough. It could never ever be enough.

“I’m so sorry,” Poe said again, but what he was thinking was: _If I ever meet him, I’m going to rip his heart out._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is also some impled smut and some beginning of smut. Also, talk about abusive Brendol as soon as Poe looks at Armitage's scar.
> 
> Talk about Kylux starting with: "But worth it. Every minute of it." ending with: "And then I moved to Les Miz and I was the direct understudy to Marius.”
> 
> Also implied after: "Really nice people, too.” and you can start reading again at: "Armitage raised his eyebrows at him."
> 
>   
> EDIT: I FORGOT!! SOME INSPIRATIONS for this chapter was found in this video: [CLICK](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zz287ACX0w) You know... six different Valjeans?
> 
> Sorry for all those theatre references. I'm a neeeerd!
> 
> Hope those warnings were okay for you? What do you think is gonna happen next? Which riddles do you still need answered?


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning in the notes at the end.

** Chapter 20 **

“The curtains aren’t even drawn.”

“That can be helped,” Poe grinned at him, his voice so low it was barely more than a whisper. The door to the secretariat stood ajar, but they were standing in the corner of Poe’s office so neither Dave, nor anybody walking past the office could see them. Poe’s hands were on his hips and he was standing so close to Armitage that a sheet of paper would barely have fit between their bodies.

One brief kiss, barely more than a brush of their lips, and Poe moved around, drawing the curtains shut. He was moving quickly, but as he walked, Armitage couldn’t help but admire the way his shirt hugged his figure, the way his jeans hung a bit too loosely.

Armitage scoffed and put his hands on Poe’s chest one he was back, even closer this time, Armitage's abdomen pressing against Poe’s belly. The file he had printed in the teacher’s lounge with his proposal for the Christmas Fair had been a fairly good excuse to sneak into Poe’s office. The folder, which had been thrown onto Poe’s desk the moment Armitage entered, lay abandoned on top of Poe’s laptop and the sun shining in through the window almost made the white of the paper shine. “And the door,” Armitage grinned against Poe’s finger as it landed gently on his lips. This was so easy. Far too easy, maybe.

He’d shown up in the teacher’s lounge, not because he craved the company of the other teachers, but simply as an excuse to have a chance to glance at Poe. He had even endured praise for the cake he had brought in a few days after starting here. But of course Poe hadn’t been in the teacher’s lounge. How could he be with all this extra responsibility he was now shouldering? Poe had come over to his place after school both previous days, looking exhausted and tired, and they’d barely done more than read, talk a bit and fall into bed. It was an almost domestic situation, something Armitage still couldn’t quite wrap his head around, but it had been the most natural decision in the world to have Beebee stay at his place that morning.

“Shut up for a minute, will you?” Poe shook his head and quickly replaced his finger with his lips and Armitage’s fingers dug into his shirt, pulling him closer. Kissing Poe was so easy. It made every inch of skin tingle with anticipation. It made his toes curl and warmth spread to every limb. Already breathless, he kissed him back, revelling in the soft sounds as their lips met and parted again, at the sensation of Poe’s tongue against his and Poe’s breath on his cheeks. Hot and already familiar.

He felt Poe tugging the shirt out of his pants, and start getting to work on his belt, opening first it, then with breathtaking slowness first the top button, then the fly. It wasn't much, just to get enough access. With a pounding heart, disbelieving Poe was actually doing this, Armitage didn’t protest. Instead, he pressed his mouth against Poe’s neck, his eyes shut tight as Poe stroked him with one hand and held him tight with the other. This could go wrong. So terribly, terribly wrong, but the though was driven clear from his mind when he felt the pressure building up even more and he had to focus instead on not making a sound. On breathing evenly as Poe kicked the door shut mere moments before Armitage came into Poe’s hand. Panting. A trembling mess in Poe’s arms. He knew he’d soiled Poe’s shirt at the very least, but the thought didn’t stick. All he could think about was how wonderful this was. How lucky he was to have Poe here. Holding him, his hand on Armitage’s neck, his breath warm and calming upon his skin. “Was this okay?” Poe muttered finally, his lips on Armitage’s temple.

Armitage nodded, still breathless. He looked up, blinking into those calm, deep brown eyes. “You’re insane, Dameron.”

Poe grinned and let go of him, casually reaching for a box of tissues to first clean up Armitage, then his hand. His white shirt really was ruined. “People have called me worse,” he smiled.

“Your shirt.”

“I have a spare,” Poe said, pointing at the gym bag beside his desk. “In case I get to teach amidst this turmoil, you know?”

Laughing Armitage pulled him close again, before Poe could even get the idea of turning away to put on another shirt. It wasn’t exactly a tender kiss, more sloppy than anything, but he needed to taste him. To show him again how much he cared. How desperately he wanted to return the favour.

They weren’t anywhere close to the window looking out into the school yard, but one shout from fairly close-by drove them apart. “Should’ve waited until the club started, huh? Could’ve seduced you properly then.” Poe laughed, his hands sliding from Armitage’s hips to his hands. “Tonight?”

“Tonight.” Armitage nodded and dug his hands tighter into Poe’s shirt. Had this really just happened? He was still weak in the knees, still desperate for more, but there was no time for that. This wasn’t even close to being an ideal place. “I’ll see you then.”

“Okay,” Poe said. “Rey said Leia’s awake. I’m gonna visit her before, though.”

Armitage nodded. “Okay.” He knew Poe needed to see her. He knew Leia Organa meant a lot to him. He looked up to her, not just as principal, but also as a person, and Armitage thought that adoration was justly earned. Every teacher here seemed to respect her. Armitage had only taught at two schools, but at neither one the headmaster had been this liked this much by the faculty. From what he could gather, she was approachable and determined to keep the school’s reputation up, despite the lack of funding. And he knew that her approval meant a lot to Poe. He wanted to do well. He didn’t want to let her down.

“I gotta go. The children are waiting.”

Poe nodded. “Looking forward to hearing them,” he said with a smile so breathtaking, it was hard to turn around. “And you!” Armitage chanced another glance at him and the tenderness in Poe’s eyes made his heart clench so painfully in his chest, he had to

Leaving Poe’s office, he caught Dave’s eye and quickly lowered his gaze. Already an admission, he felt. One that Dave barely needed. He quickly slipped out into the hallway and heard Dave call to Poe that he had a visitor coming over in the next half hour or so.

Armitage walked past the Teacher’s Lounge and towards the Music Room. He only had a couple of Physics lessons, but he barely cared. He had to admit, he was looking forward to this first attempt at setting up a choir. The prospect of it, asking children to come join him in the Music Room, had mollified him. Had made it easier to accept this new place. He loathed to admit it, but he felt more at home here than at his previous school.

“Nick, would you please close those windows?” he asked the moment he entered the room and spotted several children, all of them from his classes, sitting on tables, talking amongst themselves.

“Huh?”

The sound would have bothered him a few years ago. Now it made him grin despite himself. Damn it, he was happy, wasn’t he? Mostly because of Poe. He knew that. Poe played a huge part in that soppy smile on his face. But it wasn’t just that. They’d had dinner with Rose, Finn and Rey the previous evening and it hadn’t even been

half bad. Talking about books, about movies which Hux had never seen. It had been nice. “Please phrase that differently.”

“Huh?!” Nick repeated eyes wide, and with Mark nudging his side he nodded. “Uhm sure!” He jumped off his table and moved over to the wide-open window.

“For acoustics,” Armitage said, ignoring his desk and moving to sit on one of the desks himself. What had become of him? A few weeks in this place and already he was sitting on furniture that was not intended to be sat upon. “Alright, the idea is,” he began, watching Nick retreating to sit next to Mark, “to set up a choir for the Christmas Fair. We’ll be practising carols and-“

Christopher’s hand shot into the air. “Mr Hux, why aren’t we performing something real?”

“Something real?” Frowning, Armitage crossed his arms over his chest. He had expected this. The terror he’d felt the previous week had somewhat subsided, either because he’d already gotten used to the idea of the students knowing about it, or simply because he couldn’t care less. Because of Poe… how could one person entering your life change everything so profoundly? He couldn’t remember when he’d slept so well the last time. Simply feeling Poe’s presence near him made falling asleep so easy.

They had talked so much. About Poe’s mother. About the time after her death. About Finn and Poe, how it had ended. About Armitage… Poe simply wanted to know everything. And it had been hard at first, heck it was still hard, but every time Armitage started talking it seemed to flow out of him, old wounds cracking open again, but some of the pain seeped out in Poe’s embrace. Seeped out, to make him feel lighter. The pain was still there. The humiliation, the terror. But Poe knowing about it. Poe caring for him despite those scars, was something Armitage had never expected.

Being in school, teaching and getting the students involved in his subject, allowing them to grow, had become easier too. With this secret out, his inhibitions had been wiped away. Maybe this was what Poe had meant. Authenticity.

“You know, a play, a musical, whatever.” Gillian shrugged, her face crimson from excitement.

“We can’t set up a play any one of us would be proud of in four weeks.” Armitage shook his head. “Forget about it.” And there it was, he’d said it.

“So, we can do one?!”

What had he done? Armitage found himself smiling. “Yes, well, maybe.” Seeing the wide, excited eyes of the children in front of him was more exciting than setting up this choir. Had he really just given in? Taking a deep breath, he found his mind racing, chasing after a play they could perform with these kids. “Alright, let’s do it.” He nodded. They would do this. They could pull it of. Maybe not just with these kids here. Maybe more would join. “I’ll think of something until next week, I promise.” He got up and moved around his piano to the desk where a stack of papers was waiting. “Alright, I know, you all know some basic musical theory, but I would like to see where we stand at the moment.” He picked up the paper and looked at the notes and the lyrics printed there. “Today we’re just going to sing and see what works, then I want you to come up with carols or Christmas songs so we can decide on what to do. Now, I want you to read the texts. Familiarize yourselves with them. You have fifteen minutes.”

Mark got up and came towards the front to take the stack from Armitage to hand it out to the rest. Immediately the students started reading, looking at the lyrics printed on three sheets of paper. Armitage was sure they knew all of them. He’d been careful to compose a selection of a few songs he knew they might like. And they appeared enthusiastic enough. He had made a wider announcement in each class he taught and had then proceeded to talk to the best students in his class. And it seemed to have paid off. Every single one of these students had at least some rudimentary understanding of notes and how to read them.

He was just sitting down behind his piano, when Mark returned with the rest of the papers to put them on Armitage’s desk, but he didn’t go back to the others, who, expectedly, had started chatting amongst themselves. “Mr Hux?” he said quietly, throwing an almost anxious look over his shoulder at the others.

“Yes?” Armitage looked up. The boy’s brown eyes kept blinking too much. “Do you want to go outside?”

“No.” Mark cleared his throat, then looked back at the group. At Nick, Armitage noticed. Nick, who grinned widely at Mark, blue eyes flashing. “Mr Hux, there’s this rumour…”

“Another one?” Armitage faked a laugh, though he felt his throat going tight. He had a feeling of where this was going.

“Yes, well, my sister’s friend said-” Mark continued, lowering his voice even more so only Armitage could hear him, “And… and I know it’s none of my business, but are you and Mr Dameron dating?”

There it was. It had only been a question of time, and Poe barely tried to hold back, had even kissed Armitage in public the previous evening, declaring to the whole world what was going on. Not that Armitage minded. Going places, holding hands with someone wasn’t new to him. But he’d only ever done it in London before. Not in a remote American small town. He’d expected his heart to plummet. To feel shame creeping up his neck, but the look Nick and Mark had exchanged made him feel something else. Responsibility. Because a child was seeking reassurance. From him. From Armitage Hux of all people. He nodded, carefully. “We’re dating, yes,” he said, keeping his voice low. The secret, which had never really been one, was out anyway. It was another part of him laid bare for the world to see, and he found he didn’t much care.

Mark’s eyes widened in surprise and something that Armitage could only give one name to: hope. “Really?”

Armitage nodded, his chest swelling with pride. He was dating someone. Officially dating someone and not feeling ashamed or humiliated by someone finding out. This was more than just a fling you could show around. This was serious, or rather, was beginning to be. He had this strange feeling that Poe would react more enthusiastically to a question like this, but Armitage found, he handled it quite well.

He was dating Poe Dameron. Magnificent, beautiful, caring, guitar-playing, nerdy, perfect Poe Dameron. Who could say how on Earth he deserved that. “Yes,” Armitage confirmed. “Yes, really.”

The relief flooding Mark’s eyes was overwhelming. Yes… yes, he _was_ dating Poe Dameron, wasn’t he? Grinning he nodded. “Off you go then, I need you to familiarize yourself with the songs as well.”

“Okay,” Mark said, heading back to Nick and the others who were already starting to hum and singing the songs in low voices, reminding Armitage that he still had a lot of work to do with these children.

“No, I get that,” Poe said, suppressing a sigh. He was standing in front of the window, looking out into the now empty school yard. Classes were over by now, but the clubs were still on-going. In the far distance he spotted Rose training the football team while keeping track of Poe’s soccer players as well. He really needed to ask someone else to take over that responsibility when he got the chance.

“Poe, we really can’t do this any cheaper, I’m sorry.”

“Alright,” Poe sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “How long does the offer stand?”

Rose’s father let out a long breath and Poe could literally see him doodling on a piece of paper, the way he did so often. They had given Poe an estimate on the flooring for the gym. Better to employ a local guy than anybody else. But the price was quite steep, even with the discount Wedge Tico-Antilles was offering. “Listen, kid, we have a couple of big jobs coming, up, but I can make room for you in the next two months. Will that be enough?”

“Maybe… I’ll let you know as soon as I can, Wedge. Thank you so much.”

Wedge grunted. “Alright.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll talk to you later then.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Poe hung up, still holding the phone in his hands. This wasn’t going to be easy. How were they supposed to come up with the funding for a new gym floor in two months? It was downright impossible. He scratched the back of his neck and turned around to write some more emails, when he heard a soft knock.

“Mr Dameron?” The voice was deep, almost rumbling and the accent almost immediately recognisable.

Poe’s head snapped around to see a tall, big man standing in the doorway to his office. He was wearing a carefully tailored black suit which looked out of place in this office. Poe was not used to people dressed like this. Dressed to impress. And that was clearly what the man was doing now. Shoulders straight, he walked in without invitation, his icy green eyes trained on Poe. He must be in his sixties, Poe thought, ignoring the hand the bearded man with the reddish grey hair was extending to him.

“I usually wait for my secretary to announce visitors,” he said coolly and trying to push down the feeling of nausea he felt at the presence of this man.

“Well, you shouldn’t have sent her home, then.”

“I don’t keep my employees here after hours,” Poe said frowning, ignoring the man’s assumption his secretary was a woman. His throat was tight, his palms sweaty. He had an inkling who this person was, and he didn’t like the idea of him being in his office right now. But the resemblance was uncanny. “How can I help you, Mr Hux?”

The man’s eyebrows rose for a second. “I’m sorry I’m late. We were stuck in traffic.” The accent sounded weird in Poe’s ears. Every consonant felt like a slap in the face. Maybe it was just his desire to strangle the man. Knowing who this was, knowing what he’d done to Armitage made him want to scream out loud and throw him out of this school.

“Like I said, I wasn’t expecting you.” Hell, how could he have?! He only hoped Armitage hadn’t run into him. That would be downright disastrous. His heart pounding, Poe crossed his arms over his chest. “So, like I said, tell me what you want so we can get this over with.”

Hux’s eyebrows rose even higher. “Principal Organa did not consult you?” Hux asked, pulling up the chair sitting in front of Poe’s desk and reached into his chest pocket and produced a packet of cigarettes.

Incredulous, Poe stared at him opening the packet and taking one out before offering the packet to Poe. “You can’t smoke in here,” he said firmly. “Light that thing and I’m going to have you thrown out.” It was beginning to dawn on him. Hadn’t Dave announced an appointment without being able to give a name? Well, not an appointment per se, just a visitor. So this was him then… but what the fuck was he doing here?

“Are you?” Hux chuckled softly, the sound turning Poe’s stomach. Those hands shuffling the cigarettes back into the chest pocket had hurt Armitage. Had hit him. Punched him. That voice had tormented him for years.

Balling his hands into fists, Poe wished he were a more violent person. “So, what do you want, Mr Hux?” He couldn’t bring himself to call this man just by his last name. It was Armitage’s too. Poe had used it lovingly. He couldn’t say that name now without putting some distance between this man and the name.

Hux nodded gravely and folded his hands in front of his stomach. His fingernails were the same shape as Armitage’s, Poe realized, and the thought twisted his gut. He looked up into Hux’s face again. Into those eyes which were so much alike and yet so different from Armitage’s. And suddenly Poe understood why Armitage had so vehemently protested to his suggestion of growing a beard. How tortuous it must be to look into the mirror and only find a loathsome person looking back. But Armitage was different. There was more softness in his features. More warmth in his eyes.

“I have talked to Principal Organa. About my company taking up sponsoring this school.” The smile didn’t make him look more friendly or more approachable. It made Poe feel sick to his core and he felt a shudder run down his spine.

“Why?” Poe asked frowning. “Why would your _company_ be interested in that?” He nearly spat the word, feeling how wrong it tasted on his tongue.

And then Hux leaned back, smiling lavishly at him. “Our CEO has a special interest in helping schools reach their full potential. We are seeking to buying the local wharf and of course that means we want to invest into the school.”

_Invest_. Poe almost flinched at the stark contrast to the word Hux had used mere moments before. What a verb to use when talking about education.

Outside, Poe spotted the first students heading back towards the school’s main building. Club’s were over now, too. For a brief moment his thoughts drifted back to the rotting flooring of the gym. To the estimate Wedge had given him. To Rose begging him to finally buy new dictionaries. To the ancient computers in the library and the lack of wifi. Swallowing hard, he turned his attention to Hux.

“We are not interested in big companies _investing_ in this school,” he said, fully aware that, as soon as the board got wind of this offer, things would look differently. “I suggest you leave.”

Hux nodded and got up from his chair. “My CEO will get into contact with you, Mr Dameron.”

CEO… of course…Ben. “We-“ he began and was cut off, when Hux stepped up to him, reached past him to grab the folder still lying on top of Poe’s laptop. Poe caught a waft of brandy and balled his hands into fists.

“With a written proposal for the investment,” Hux added, making Poe swallow hard as Hux looked at the neat handwriting on the paper cover. “You like written proposals?” He started opening the folder and Poe quickly snatched it out of his hand before Hux could see the post-it note Armitage had left him in there, his heart pounding wildly.

“Leave,” Poe hissed, on the verge of completely losing his patience.

“I see,” Hux smiled sickeningly and took a step towards the door. “Give my love to my son when you see him.”

The singing was a complete disaster. Armitage almost wished he cared. The utter enthusiasm with which the students were singing, not giving a damn about how bad it sounded, sometimes even doing it on purpose. Within minutes Armitage was laughing so hard he had to hold his belly and tears were running down his face.

“Mr Hux!” Gillian laughed. “We’re making Mr Hux cry!”

Still laughing like a maniac, Armitage had to lean against the desk right behind his piano stool. “No!” He was still chuckling as he wiped his face. “No, I’m sorry!” Taking a deep, steadying breath, he started playing the melody again, nearly choking on his own spit the moment the kids started shrieking again. “Is this too hard?” He got up and moved between the desks back towards the children sitting at the back.

Mark nudged Nick’s side. “Sorry,” Nick mumbled. “We can do this.”

Shaking his head, Armitage looked down at his watch. “Listen, time’s up anyway.” He was still grinning. He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy teaching. “Remember to write down the songs you’d be interested in performing, I’m going to work on something then. I’ll see you on Friday.”

“Mr Hux, thanks for today,” Gillian said, Mark trailing behind her and smiling shyly at him before making his way out of the room. Armitage stayed behind, starting to put the chairs and tables back to where they were supposed to be. He knew he should have let the students do it, but he was notoriously bad at reminding them.

A slow, deliberate clapping sound made him pause. It was out of place. Almost eerie. “Well, aren’t you happy.”

Swallowing hard, he turned around, recalling the last time he had heard that voice in person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Armitage's brother turns up in the paragraph in which Poe is on the phone. There is also some metion of Ben Solo in that bit.
> 
> Whoops! Ended with a cliffhanger!! So? Thoughts? Ideas? Suggestions? I want to know what you think!! 
> 
> 2 more chapters to go, I think


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at the end.

Armitage stood there, his arms hanging limp at his sides as he stared back at Ben. Tall, his chin-length dark hair held back in a ponytail. A stark contrast to the perfectly tailored suit and clean-shaven face.

Ben’s shoes clicked softly on the worn floor as he strode inside the Music Room and with every step he took Armitage felt his muscles tense up. He’d almost expected seeing him. How could he not, with Leia in hospital in this very town, but he’d never have expected to see him here. Tall and lean and handsome, occupying the Music Room with unimaginable ease. “No greeting?” Ben asked, one brow raised as his deep voice filled the air. It was this voice most of all that had drawn Armitage in back in the day. That voice more like that face, which looked somehow far too young and vulnerable. Too young for that voice. Too innocent for the person hiding behind it.

“Ben,” Armitage said, moving away from him. Back to the desk. He wished he knew why this was so unnerving. Ben had called him. Had told him he’d be here. And Ben had also made sure he got this job. At this school. Why? To keep tabs on Leia? Not very likely. He hadn’t called Armitage once until a few days ago. “How is your mother?”

Ben shrugged, following Armitage, one hand in his pocket. “I haven’t been to see her yet. We have a business appointment first.”

We… whatever the hell that meant. He pondered for a moment, starting to shuffle the papers on his desk and quickly closing his tablet. Ben didn’t need to see the background picture. Ben didn’t need to know about the cats or the dog sitting next to their box. “I hope she gets better soon.” He said, having regained his composure somewhat.

“Do you like it here?”

What a question. Something Ben had rarely ever asked him before. Poe was the one who made sure he was alright. “You know… I didn’t think I’d get used to it.”

“Used to it,” Ben echoed, dark eyes narrowing as he sat down on the abandoned piano stool. Armitage regularly forgot how massive Ben really was. Just a bit taller than him, Ben Solo was all muscle. Strong, with a broad chest and even broader shoulders. It showed even more when Ben was standing, but seeing him sitting there only vaguely diminished his impact. “Doesn’t sound good.”

Armitage shrugged. What business was it of Ben’s? He picked up the stack of papers and threw them into the top drawer of his desk, buying himself the time he needed to come up with something worthwhile to say. But before he could, Ben was speaking again. 

“Listen, I was thinking… if you ever decide to come back to London, I’m sure we could find a place for you at First Order.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Armitage prompted, his heart just having missed a beat.

“You heard me… I could always do with an assistant.” Ben was smiling now, though that smile never reached his eyes. Armitage stood stock still as Ben got up again, moving in closer and Armitage didn’t move back. “Could be fun.” He raised his hand, his fingertips almost touching his cheek when Armitage heard steps outside.

Next second, Poe was standing inside the door, the new shirt he was wearing at least one size too small. His eyes grew wide the moment they met Armitage’s.

Letting out a long breath, Armitage shook his head. “You’d better go, Ben,” he said, eyes still trained on Poe, who was still standing in the doorway, unblinking, just staring at Armitage, his face ashen. God, what this must look like to him. Shaking his head again, he finally managed to take a step back.

“Ah…” Ben followed his gaze. “I see. You’re Poe, right? Poe Dameron? My mother’s second-in command? Best soccer trainer in town?”

“You bet,” Poe said, hands now on is hips, his chin held high. “What do you want here, Solo?”

Ben ignored him, just took another step towards Armitage to put his hand on his cheek. Armitage froze, when he felt the familiar dry fingers caressing his skin, the thumb touching his lower lip. Pulling it down. “Think about it, Armitage, won’t you?”

Armitage stared up at him, eyes fixed on Ben’s, his heart pounding. What was he even doing here? Anger, hot and flaming swelled up in the pit of his stomach, and it was easy enough to slap the hand away, but he was unable to utter a word. Ben’s presence, even now, months after it had all ended, was making it impossible to push back.

How had he done it at first? Been cocky and daring? Armitage couldn’t remember. But at least Ben dropped his hand, a triumphant smile on his lips, as though Armitage’s rebuffal hadn’t happened. “I’m going to wait for your call.”

“Don’t,” Armitage said, cursing himself for how flat his voice sounded. How feeble and weak. When things had ended between them, he thought he was okay with it. All of it. But only as time passed, only as he put some distance between himself and Ben, did he realize that what he’d had with Ben Solo had been nothing. Nothing at all. “Go.” At least he managed to add a little force to that word. Not that he had any impact on Ben.

Still smiling, Ben took a step back, eyes trained on Armitage as though he were something to be gained. Something to have. That look would have been enough to make him feel weak in the knees. Now, all Armitage wanted to do, was smack Ben’s pretty face and be done with it. But, as usual, he just stood there, unable to move, watching Ben retreat towards the door and walk past Poe without acknowledging him.

Poe… Poe who appeared to be rooted to the spot, eyes trained on Armitage, his face, for the first time, completely unreadable. There was no smile playing around his lips, no frown on his face. Nothing to betray even the slightest trace of anger.

Quickly, before Armitage could start seeing it set in, he turned around to clean the blackboard. He wasn’t sure he would be able to face it. Poe was angry and rightly so. Armitage hadn’t pushed away soon enough. Hadn’t made sure that Ben stayed far away from him. The sponge was still damp. Yes. Concentrate on that, he told himself. Focus on cleaning the last traces of the day before you lose your nerve.

He heard steps approaching, but still he didn’t turn around, just wiped the dark green surface of the board, watching the colour darken and the surface starting to reflect his own face. He could still feel Ben’s thumb on his lips, his face burning with humiliation at the memory. Why _hadn’t_ he shoved him away? Why? Was he really that weak?

Hands, big and firm were placed on his hips and Armitage stopped halfway in his movement. Poe’s reassuring presence was there. Right behind him, his warm breath on his neck. Slowly, Armitage dropped his hand, the damp sponge still clutched tightly in it as he stared at the halfway cleaned board. There were still half the notes he’d written down for the ninth grade. Like a memory of a time long past, when the real thing that was so far away from him should be Ben and all the memories that entailed.

Poe stepped closer, his hands sliding around Armitage’s middle and Armitage finally dropped the sponge when he felt Poe’s forehead rest between his shoulder blades. 

“Poe,” he said, “I swear, I-“

“Sh.” Armitage felt Poe shake his head against his back and Poe’s arms encircled him completely then. “You looked terrible. I’m sorry I didn’t punch him when I saw him touch you.”

Armitage swallowed hard, blinking angrily at the tears starting to well up and burn in his nose. Tears of shame and gratitude and relief and despair. “He wasn’t that big a jackass when-“

“I’m sure he was,” Poe cut him off. “But there are things we don’t see sometimes… not when we’re… involved like this.”

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Armitage put his hands on Poe’s. “Yeah, maybe…” He cleared his throat, ignoring the two tears sliding down his cheek. They were burning like fire, but Poe’s arms around him, the comfort his sheer presence provided was more than he could have wished for. They made him feel lighter somehow.

“Do you think he loves you?”

Armitage scoffed. “No,” he said, his voice still trembling with the effort of just staying upright. “No, Ben Solo loves no one but himself.”

“Do you… I mean… did you?”

“No!” Armitage said more emphatically. “No, never.” It was another bit of weight off his shoulders. “Just… you know.” He let out a sigh and turned around in Poe’s arms, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Just sex.” There it was. That chuckle Armitage had wanted to hear. It was like balm. Soothing.

He felt like Poe was about to say something else, felt the twinge in his chest, the pang that reminded him that he wanted to hear it, but instead he said: “I wasn’t expecting him in here.”

“No.” The smile was gone. Armitage couldn’t find a trace of it in Poe’s voice. “Listen.” Poe dropped his hands to Armitage’s hips again, but he wasn’t pulling back. That was something. “He didn’t exactly come alone.” He paused. “Your father was in my office just now… tried to sell me on the idea of First Order sponsoring the school.”

His father… Armitage closed his eyes, unable to step back. Unable to move or say anything. So much for a quiet life here. So much for staying out of the way of these people. Clearing his throat, Armitage wiped his face and stood up straight.

“He’s a real piece of work. I’m sorry.”

“What for?” Armitage croaked, his insides icy cold. “You didn’t invite him here.”

“No.” Poe’s face was set. “No, and I never will… but we might be facing some other problems.” He took a deep breath, but before he could start, Armitage shook his head.

“Let’s just get out of here,” he said, steeling himself. He knew what would be waiting for him once he looked at his phone. He was sure there would be another email from his father. And he’d be damned if he was tempted to do this here.

“Right… I’m done with work anyway…”

“Let me drive,” Armitage said. They had arrived here in two separate cars, just like they had every day for the better part of a week now. But if there was one thing he knew it was that he shouldn’t be alone right now. Driving Poe to the hospital might be just the perfect excuse. Rey had volunteered to take Beebee for a walk anyway. It was the perfect solution.

“Sure… you really want to come with me to the hospital? You know… they might be there.”

Armitage shook his head and reached for his school bag to put his tablet inside. “No,” he answered, closing the bag and slinging it over his shoulder. “No, Ben said they have a business appointment. “

Poe’s face darkened, but he didn’t respond. Instead, he took Armitage’s hand in his. Deliberately. As though this small sign of unity would mean anything to the world outside, when it really meant nothing to anyone but them.

But it meant a lot. To Armitage at least. The warmth and strength of Poe’s hand was something he hadn’t thought he wanted in his life until it was his to have. For as long as it was his to have.

And then he thought of Mark. Mark, and the surprise and relief he’d seen on the boy’s face. Squeezing Poe’s hand, he led him out of the Music Room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot of reference to past Kylux and Ben in this one. Better to skip this chapter if you want to avoid Kylux. Quick summary: Ben is there, he's being a jerk, offering to give Armitage a job at FO, then Poe arrives, Ben leaves and Armitage and Poe have a little heart-to-heart.  
> Armitage then offers to take Poe to the hospital.
> 
> Thank you, thank you THANK YOU for all the lovely comments! They mean the world to me! And they make it easier for me to get through the day :-D I'd love to hear your thoughts on Ben now. What do you think Armitage wants Poe to say? Hmmmm.....


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at the end.

** Chapter 22 **

Armitage had never much liked the smell of hospitals. The antiseptic, the general air of waiting and high alert reminded him of the hours he had spent in one, waiting for his mother to be better while a nurse picked shards of glass out of his skin. Every single time he'd been brought in, a cut to his forehead being the cause, or a broken, or some other injury from “falling down the stairs” or “tripping. He recalled the shame of those incidents as much as he recalled the long-past terror of waiting, the hope that ultimately everything was going to be okay. Every time he walked through the sliding doors of a hospital, he felt it all came back to him, assaulting him like a barrage of emotions he couldn't escape.

His mother had died. That car crash hadn’t killed Armitage, but ultimately it had taken her.

His father had made sure he’d been in places like this plenty of times afterward. Hospitals were places which had seen the loss of his dignity. Even at twenty years old, the last time he had ever been stupid enough to follow his father's invitation to come home over semester break, he had felt that way. Terrified and humiliated as he sat in the emergency room with a few broken ribs after one of those beatings and remembering those hours spent waiting and hoping and feeling his life falling apart into shards so tiny it was nearly impossible to pick them up again.

If it hadn’t been for Poe, Armitage doubted he would have walked into this place of his own free will. But if there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was being alone right now. Not after what had just happened. He was still shaky, the laughter from that afternoon’s choir practice almost forgotten. It was still lingering there at the back of his mind, but Ben’s visit had overwhelmed him to say the least.

His heart wasn’t pounding anymore, but he felt it heavy in his chest. Swallowing hard, he kept his eyes on the white linoleum floor as he walked along with Poe. Leia was no longer in intensive care. That was something, but he still wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do when Poe went in there. Try to ignore the smell, probably. He was only glad he’d brought his school bag along. At least he might distract himself with work.

“What should we make for dinner?” Poe asked, ripping Armitage out of his thoughts.

“What now?”

“Dinner, Armitage.”

Right… that. Armitage cleared his throat and shook his head. “It’s all fine.” They had reached the staircase and started climbing. Of course the elevator would have done just fine, but Poe seemed to have caught on to Armitage’s desire to move.

Poe sighed. “Alright. I’ll whip something up.”

Nodding, Armitage let Poe take the lead. Damn it, he was supposed to be there for _Poe_. Not the other way around.

Quickly enough they reached the third floor. The smell didn’t get worse, but still Armitage felt as though the walls were pressing in on him. There was just no place to escape that scent in this place. Of course there wasn’t. It was all he could do to hold on tight to Poe’s hand as they walked along a windowless corridor.

There was a small waiting area towards the middle of it, terrible paintings, prints of pseudo post-modern artists hanging along the side of it. “Do you want to come in?” Poe asked, but Armitage shook his head.

“I don’t think I have a place in there,” he said and Poe nodded absentmindedly.

“Okay… I’ll see you later then.”

“Right… give…. say hello to her from me?”

Slipping his hand out of Armitage’s, Poe approached the door bearing the number which the receptionist had given them. He brushed his hand through his curls, then he knocked and entered.

With a heavy heart, Armitage dropped into one of the uncomfortable chairs and peeked a look into his schoolbag. Anything to take his mind off things. Even looking at the notes for the choir seemed like a better option than staring at those paintings, all the while remembering things he’d rather forget.

Like that doctor approaching him, asking him where his father was. Where his grandparents were. That concerned look on his face as he sat down next to Armitage, who hadn’t heard the words yet, but who knew, deep inside that now he was all alone in this world.

Blinking Armitage searched his bag. He couldn’t deal with that right now. He really couldn’t.

And then his eyes fell on the thick book he’d packed that morning. Armitage didn’t even know why exactly, but he’d packed _The Riots of Alexandria_ on his way out of the door as he was following Poe. Maybe this was it. The perfect medium to distract himself from what was going on around him. To escape this place, if only for a while. Anything but this grizzly painting and this terrible smell.

Leia was so pale Poe she looked grey against the white of the pillow on which she was propped up. But at least she was awake, her big, brown eyes standing out against her papery skin.

“Poe,” she said with the ghost of a smile on her lips.

And that did it. It made it easier for him to approach her. To fake a smile of his own. “Hey, boss,” he said, holding up the little wooden angel he had bought in the hospital gift shop. It wasn’t as though Leia was a religious person, but it seemed appropriate. She’d had a guardian angel after all, hadn’t she?

Carefully he put the figurine, which was barely bigger than the palm of his hand, on her nightstand. “I figured a bit of extra luck couldn’t hurt?”

Leia laughed softly and shook her head at him. “Look at you, all thoughtful.” She blinked, looking even more tired than she had these past few weeks. “It’s beautiful, thank you.”

Poe nodded. It was a plain figurine, nothing but carved wood. There wasn’t even a face, just the silhouette of the wings and the shape of a woman hidden beneath a long, wide robe. “Graceful, huh?”

She smiled some more, but didn’t reply.

“How are you doing?”

“Splendid.” She laughed croakily and reached for the half-empty glass sitting next to her. The sun was already setting outside. “How about you?”

Poe shrugged, tempted to tell her about the visitors they’d had today straight away, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it. Not straight away. “I’m alright,” he said, pulling up a chair. If it hadn’t been for Leia’s situation and the incident back at school he might even say that he was doing great.

But, as usual, Leia seemed to read his thoughts. “Rey tells me you’re dating someone.” She was smiling now. “A certain new colleague?”

Letting out a long breath, Poe brushed his hand through his hair again. “Is that gonna be a problem?”

“Only if you let it be one. But you’re smarter than letting it become a problem.” She raised her eyebrows in a way only she could and Poe felt that spark of admiration again. That spark he’d sensed the moment he applied to be a teacher at his old high school. Leia had made the transition from being a student to being a teacher downright easy.

“He’s… he’s incredible.”

Leia gave him a knowing look as she sipped on her glass. “I figured you liked him.”

“How?”

“The way you stared at him the moment you laid eyes on him. Poe, you’re not exactly an expert at hiding your feelings.”

Chuckling and far less embarrassed than he thought he’d be, Poe threw a look at the door, behind which Armitage was waiting for him. He was almost tempted to call him in, as though introducing Armitage as… what… his boyfriend? His lover? His hot part-time affair? No… no, none of these words felt right. “No, I’m not.” He shrugged instead. “So, when are you getting out again?”

“Desperate to vacate the throne?”

“You could say that.”

Leia shook her head. “In a few days… let’s discuss matters later.”

Poe froze. Those words had a finality about it he didn’t like. Not at all. “Leia…”

“No.” She smiled. “Really. Not now… tell me what else is new, please, I’m bored out of my skull.”

“You just woke up… are you sure?”

“No, I just got out of intensive care. I woke up an eternity ago.” Shaking her head, Leia sat up a bit straighter. She was taking it too lightly, of course, but if these past weeks had taught him anything, it was that he wouldn’t be the one to persuade Leia to take her health seriously. “I’ve been awake for a bit longer. Now… tell me.”

Poe was more than a bit relieved to find Leia interested in the goings on at school. And he was glad to tell her, his heart growing lighter with every minute he spent talking about the organisation of the Christmas Fair, about the tons of cookies Chad had already baked, about the decorations Rose had made in French class, or the café which Mary’s class was planning to set up. He wasn’t sure though, he should her about the estimate Wedge had given him just that morning. Or about Hux’s offer.

He bit his lip once he was done talking about the Fair and chanced a look at his hands. He should probably leave soon. He could see that Leia was getting more and more tired, her eyelids starting to droop. “Leia, I should probably tell you that Ben is on his way here,” he said quietly. “He’s got some sort of business plans here and wants to visit you too.”

Leia’s eyebrows were draw together in a deep frown as she leaned her head back. “Is he…” she muttered, shaking her head. “Who’d have thought… he hasn’t been here in a while… how do you know? Hux?”

Poe flinched at the name and it took him a moment to realize she wasn’t talking about Brendol Hux. He cleared his throat. “He told me, yes, but Ben was at school today.” There. It was out. “I really shouldn’t bother you with this. He wanted to talk to Armitage… they… they were a couple… of sorts.” There. Another piece of information. A piece which described it well enough, Poe thought. He bit his lip and cleared his throat. Might as well come out with the full truth. If Ben Solo showed up here, he was bound to tell her. And Poe had the vague feeling that news about this so-called investment had better come from him. “He sent one of his cronies to talk to me,” he added quietly. “To talk about sponsoring the school. I threw him out, but I guess the board won’t hate his proposal.”

To his utter surprise, Leia was grinning up at the ceiling now. She shook her head and wiped her hand over her face. Her eyes were glistening softly as she spoke again. “Poe, I guess I need to sleep a bit now… do you mind? I promise, we will talk about this some other time. But please hold him off until then. You can do that.”

No. He really wasn’t sure he could do that at all. He was not the fighter Leia was. He was not as strong or as witty or as resilient. But he nodded anyway. No need to worry her even more right now. “Okay,” he said, “I’ll visit you again once you’re out of hospital.”

“And thank you for this,” she pointed at the angel, her finger thinner than he had ever seen it.

He got up slowly and took her hand into his. “Get well soon, okay?” he asked. “We need you. I need you.”

“You really don’t. You’ve got this.” No reassurance that she would be back. No word about when she could get out of here. Nothing. Just this promise that she believed in him.

“Take care of yourself.”

“It’s all I can do, Poe.”

Poe suppressed a sigh as he got up. He hesitated, just for a moment, looking down at her smiling face and the newly formed wrinkles in the corners of her mouth. In these past few years she had become more than a friend. Leia was family. And he was sure that a lot of people felt that way. He stretched out his hand to touch hers. Her strong fingers squeezed his and he managed a crooked grin, his chest aching as he bent over the bed and kissed her forehead.

“Tell Hux I want to be invited to your wedding.”

With a scoff, Poe let go of her. “Are you gonna propose to him for me?”

“No, I’m gonna let you do it.”

“Bye, Leia.” He laughed, moving towards the door.

“Bye, Poe.”

Armitage kept his eyes trained on the pages of the book, unwilling to look up at the sound of approaching footsteps. He’d been well emerged in the story, which was depicting the religious riots in fifth century Alexandria in such gruesome detail, he felt his eyes burning from staring at the page. The protagonist, an accidental time traveller who had fallen in love with the region’s Prefect, was trying to help those being suppressed by the winning side and failing. With every step he took trying to prevent the disaster he was seeing unfold, things got worse, all the while the Prefect kept trying to protect both him and as many people as possible. The story was heart-breaking. But that wasn’t the only thing that drove Armitage to reading. The history was well-researched. Not that Armitage knew a whole lot about the Roman Empire or about religious disputes, but the world this author had created was so believable, the characters so challenging and true, he felt himself slowly drifting back into the plot the moment he opened the book. 

But now there were those footsteps approaching and his heart hammered wildly, knowing full-well there was no way he’d be able to hide the cover from the person approaching him now. So, instead of looking up, of facing the challenge, he kept staring at the page and the dark letters on it, like the coward he was. Like the weakling his father knew he was.

What he didn’t expect was the set of worn sneakers entering his field of vision. “What’re you reading?” asked a light voice and Armitage looked up carefully. Sure enough, there was Rey, one hand on her hip, a large plastic bag in her other.

He felt his face grow hot and he quickly closed the book, back cover facing up. “Nothing much.”

Raising her eyebrows, she sat down next to him, eyes trained on the book. “ _The Riots of Alexandria?_ Do you like it?”

“Have you read it?”

She was smiling now. “Tell me,” she prompted.

“Yes,” he sighed, deciding that hiding this from her might be a bit too late. He should have thought of it when he opened it up in here. Well, better her than his father or anybody else he might know. “Yes, I do.”

Rey nodded. “Thank you.”

Shrugging, he picked up his bag, then he froze mid-movement. “Why are you thanking me?” he asked, frowning at her. Why was she even bothering talking to him like this.”

She shrugged, her ponytail bobbing slightly as she leaned back. “Is Poe in there?”

“Rey...”

Grinning she faced him and that look she was giving first the book, then him, made his eyes pop.

“No!”

Her grin widened. “I- you…”

“You bought it at Finn’s shop, right? It’s the only shop that sells these around here. Too ambitious, I guess. But he really wanted it, I suppose. He did all the proof reading for me. And it’s selling alright.”

“You wrote this.”

Rey nodded, still smiling brightly and blushing at the same time. “I did.”

Armitage blinked, turned to book around so he was looking at the cover. So… so Rey had written this? A historical young-adult gay time-travel romance? He let out a huff, then he started to laugh. It didn’t come as easily to him as it had done in the classroom, but he felt the laughter bubbling up in his chest like a spring of fresh water. “Good job!” he exclaimed. “I like it!”

Rey shrugged and looked at him with something that looked an awful lot like contentment. “Thank you.” She nodded appreciatively and sighed heavily. “I-“

“Will there be a second part?” Armitage asked, clearly taking Rey by surprise.

“What?”  
“I like the characters, the plot, you did a marvellous job, and I wish more stories were as well written, especially for young adults. They need this kind of stuff. I wish I’d had a book like this in my early twenties. Seriously.”

“It’s very niche.”

“Niche and cliché and violent and sexy.” Armitage grinned and turned the cover around to look at the silhouette of the boy on the front cover. “You’re really good… what else have you written?”

“Just weird stuff here and there. Fanfiction? If you know what that is?”

Grinning, Armitage shook his head. “I didn’t know you were such a nerd.”

“You got me wrong, then, didn’t you?” She nudged his side and her head whipped around when the door to Leia’s room opened and Poe stepped out. “Thanks anyway,” she said, getting to her feet and patting Armitage on the shoulder. “I’d love to know more and keep your comment in mind.”

“Keep what in mind?” Poe asked, stepping to the side to make room for her.

“His praise of my _genius_ mind.” Winking, she walked past him into Leia’s room, the plastic bag dangling from her hand.

“You praised her genius mind?” Poe prompted, closing the door behind Rey.

Armitage put the book into his bag and stood up. “Later,” he said, only now feeling the wave of relief washing over him as he thought about it. Finding a kindred spirit in Rey was probably the last thing he would have expected. “Let’s get home.”

“Home…” Poe mused, then he nodded. “Fine.”

“How is Leia?” Armitage asked the moment they started walking again and their hands met on their own, fingers intertwining. Poe’s hand fit so easily into his, it was crazy. Like they had been made to mould perfectly into his.

Sighing, Poe led him back down the corridor. He looked tired. Tired and spent. He bit his lip and shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said and fell silent.

Only now, as the silence settled around Poe, making him look grim and thoughtful, did Armitage realize he hadn’t thought about the smell or his surroundings for the past few minutes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning and spoilers:  
> Mention of past abuse, hospitalisation and loss of a parent in the first paragraph.
> 
> Mention of Ben after: "He was still shaky, the laughter from that afternoon’s choir practice almost forgotten." And safe to read at "His heart wasn’t pounding anymore, but he felt it heavy in his chest."
> 
> More mention of Ben after: "He could see that Leia was getting more and more tired, her eyelids starting to droop." Poe tells Leia about the proposal of sponsoring the school. Safe to read again at: "To his utter surprise, Leia was grinning up at the ceiling now."
> 
> I hope that warning was okay and I didn't miss anything.
> 
> Also, thank you so so much for all those kind, encouraging comments! I'm trying to keep up the pace and your feedback helps a LOT.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at the end.

Poe’s car stood in the parking lot right outside the hospital. They had only taken a few steps outside, when Poe saw Armitage turn his head and felt the soft tugging at his arm as Armitage stopped walking, hand clutching Poe’s as though for dear life.

Poe didn’t have to ask what was wrong. He recognized that stiffness in Armitage’s shoulders, felt how every fibre of Armitage’s body was strained, as though ready to take flight. And of course Poe only had to follow Armitage’s gaze to see what he was staring at.

They weren’t far away, Ben Solo and Armitage’s father, striding towards them, Solo in the lead, Brendol Hux a significantly less impressive stature trailing a few feet behind him as they were walking towards the hospital. Solo raised his eyebrows at them, coming to a standstill before them. Armitage’s hand twitched, his fingers closing more tightly around Poe’s.

“So this is what’s going on?” Solo sneered, looking at them with such disdain, Poe felt his insides starting to burn. “Well, I suppose you couldn’t find a better fuck around here anyway.”

“Shut up, Ben,” Armitage shot back, taking Poe completely by surprise.

“Oh… right. There’s that spine I’d missed back at the school.” Solo laughed softly, the sound so cold and mirthless Poe felt an icy shudder run down his spin. As though that deep sonorous voice was enough to sniff the heat out of the very air surrounding them. “Tell me when you get tired of this one, will you?” The superior look, the way his eyes roamed first over Poe, then over Armitage, made Poe want to lash out, but Armitage held on even tighter.

“Let’s just go,” he muttered, taking a step towards the parking lot.

“Running away. Yes, that makes sense, too.”

Armitage didn’t reply, but kept on walking, pulling Poe with him, who barely got a look at Hux before they reached Poe’s car. “I’d better tell Rey they’re coming,” Armitage muttered, letting go of Poe’s hand and walking around the car to the passenger side to get in.

Poe, however, turned around. Solo wasn’t even standing there anymore. He’d vanished into the building and Poe felt his stomach twist into a painful knot when he met Brendol Hux’s gaze. Brendol Hux, his face so much alike his son’s, staring at them with a gaze so expressionless he might be looking right through them.

Armitage was desperate. Poe felt it mounting with every touch, with every sloppy kiss as he pressed into Poe, making him gasp as he dug his fingers into his skin, pushing him hard against the mattress. Grinding against him, teeth pulling at his lips.

Gasping, Poe reached up and placed his hands on Armitage’s cheeks. “Slow down,” he whispered, breathless already. There was no denying what Armitage was doing to him was more than arousing. Already he was painfully hard, Armitage grinding against him doing little to make this last a bit longer.

Armitage’s skin was hot, his eyes shut tight. He’d barely allowed them both to shed their clothes before throwing Poe and himself onto the bed. Poe was still wearing his socks.

“Armitage.” Poe’s voice was hoarse, his body aching for release. But this wasn’t what he wanted. Not right now. Not if Armitage was hurting this badly. Any other day he’d gladly join in a fast game, yearning for a quick release only to take it slow after. But this act of despair felt wrong.

It seemed to take Armitage a lot of effort to pull back. To open his eyes and look down at Poe. His eyes were feverish, his lashes glistening with moisture. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, starting to pull away as the realisation of what he was doing hit him like a mallet. He started pushing himself up, but before he could leave the bed, Poe wrapped his arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace, Armitage’s back pressed against his chest, his head resting against Poe’s arms.

Poe’s groin was still throbbing, his breath still coming in gasps, but it all hardly mattered. “Don’t be sorry. We can do this. Let’s just take it slow, okay? Real slow.”

He knew exactly what was going on. If encounter in front of the hospital had rattled Poe, how must it have affected Armitage?

“Poe, I’m sorry I hurt you.” He sounded small. So small and weak, curling in on himself. The fact that he let Poe see this, that he said these things, the words leaving his lips alone, was more than Poe could have hoped for a week ago.

“It’s alright. It was kind of hot.” Grinning, Poe propped himself up and kissed Armitage’s temple. “You’re hot.”

Armitage was trembling now, his eyes bloodshot as he looked up at Poe. “Poe…” for once he appeared to be lost for words. Poe had never seen him like this. Quiet, yes. Reserved, absolutely. Not exhausted and so… sad. Swallowing hard, Poe reached around him, sliding his hand over his torso, his lips trailing down his neck.

“Come on, relax.”

With a scoff, Armitage turned his head. He stared up at him, unblinking, lips slightly parted as he breathed heavily. “Kiss me?“

Poe grinned. He hated seeing him hurting like this, but he had to admit, there was a certain charm to the glistening eyes, to seeing his need to be near him. His need for Poe. His embrace. His touch. Poe couldn’t remember ever feeling this humbled by someone asking for him like this. Nobody had ever looked at him like this. Armitage needed him, and, no, this wasn’t ideal, but it might be a nice distraction and if it made Armitage feel better, then wasn’t it his job to comply? Not that he’d find it in him to turn Armitage away. Not like this. Probably not ever. One week… and already he was desperate for more. _No promises._

Well, fuck that too.

Fuck the risks and everything that was hurting and wrong in this world. “Of course, love.”

Armitage’s eyes grew even wider and Poe heard him catch his breath. Whether it was because of the last word or because of Poe’s hand starting to slide up and down his cock, Poe couldn’t say. And before Armitage could answer, Poe leaned in, kissing him, his hand moving at the same rhythm as his lips. Armitage was kissing him back, greedily, the hot lips brushing against his, his tongue silky and cunning, every movement making him harder and as Armitage shifted against him, pressing his butt against Poe’s groin, Poe feet a moan escaping his lips and into Armitage’s mouth, his hips pressing into Armitage’s.

“I want you,” Armitage whispered, his voice so hoarse and barely audible against his lips. “Please.”

Poe propped himself up, revelling in the view and the feeling of Armitage’s cock, hard and demanding, in his hand. “Turn around for me?” Poe whispered. “On your back. Come on.”

There was not a moment of hesitation. Armitage’s legs wrapped around his hips, the touching of their cocks making Poe’s knees nearly buckle. He couldn’t resist. His heart was pounding wildly as he bent low over Armitage, pressing his lips against Armitage’s. It was all he could do not to start giving in further straight away.

Feeling for the tube they’d used the previous times with one hand and holding himself up with the other was no easy task in his current state, but he managed it somehow, moving his lips away from Armitage’s lips and down his neck. He could taste the sweat of the day, and sucked in the incredible scent, kissing Armitage’s neck, his chest. Armitage threw his head back, a long breath escaping his lips the moment Poe flicked his tongue over one of his nipples. The sound was like music in his ears. This voice…this incredible voice.

And there it was. That cylindrical container, right beneath the pillow. Small wonder Beebee or Millie hadn’t found it yet.

“Keep going.”

“Hey, stop pushing me.” Poe grinned up at him, but he only saw Armitage’s pointed chin, because Armitage was staring up at the wall, his shivering thighs holding tightly onto Poe, pressing into his sides.

“For Christ’s sake…”

“I wouldn’t have taken you for the religious type.”

“Dameron!”

Chuckling, Poe sat up, spreading Armitage’s legs wide with his body. He felt flushed. Sweaty already and panting hard as he poured some lube into his hand. “I thought you were patient.”

“Stop assuming things about me and just-“

“Just what?” Poe was still grinning, the view sending chills through his body. Armitage was grabbing the sheets now, staring up at him with a face so red Poe could barely make out the freckles anymore. Gently, he rocked his hips against Armitage’s, causing the other to let out another downright desperate moan.

“Tease…”

“I’ve been called that.”

“Poe!”

“Armitage.” He liked this. Somehow, he would never have thought he’d be into this, but Armitage Hux had to be the most beautiful man he’d ever come across. Especially when he was looking at him from below, his smooth skin flushed, chest heaving, his cock stiff and hard against his stomach. The tiny golden curls around the base were even more seductive from this angle. And those eyes… beautiful. Pleading. Trusting… trusting. Armitage trusted him. It was so clear in this very moment, so clear and beautiful it was almost tearing him apart. “Okay, relax, let me do this, alright?”

Armitage laughed, his thighs quivering even more as Poe put one hand to his hip and let his finger slide around Armitage’s hole. This was a new position for them. Usually Armitage was the one who on top, but Poe felt his heart pounding as his mind raced at the thought of the possibilities they had. Normally it had only ever been one way or the other for him. To find Armitage ready to take control as well as leave it over to Poe was downright exhilarating. With burning eyes, Poe watched Armitage squirm, felt him forcefully relax his muscles so Poe could stretch him, eyes turned on Poe’s. Dark and green and desperate. For Poe. For more of this.

Trusting.

There it was. That word, which had taken over his entire world within seconds. It was worth more than their first kiss, or Armitage telling him some parts about his past. This was so much more. There was no barrier between them. Nothing to prevent Poe to search his soul. How on Earth did he deserve this?

Well, he’d have to find a way to make it count. And might as well start right here. “You’re so beautiful,” he muttered, watching Armitage squirm with pleasure as he brushed his fingertips over his prostate, so deep inside.

“Shut up, you gorgeous man.”

Chuckling, Poe kept pushing him, working Armitage open gently and slowly, always making sure he wasn’t pushing Armitage too far.

 _Make it count_ , he reminded himself. _Fuck the no promises policy._

When Poe was satisfied, when he was sure he couldn’t take staring down at a heavily breathing Armitage anymore, he reached for the little square packet and it seemed to take his trembling fingers forever to put on the condom. “Are you ready?” he asked huskily and Armitage nodded again, his hands reaching out for Poe.

Well if that wasn’t the invitation he needed, then what was? Smiling, Poe leaned forward again, weaving his fingers through the those held out to him, and steering himself into the right position. Slowly, infinitely slowly, he started pushing in, his forehead pressed against Armitage’s, making sure that the other was comfortable, while the sensation of heat and tightness around his cock made it harder and harder to focus on anything. Anything but the heavy panting, and those sea-green eyes and the warm breath on his lips.

It was so simple. So easy. Rocking them both, getting captured by Armitage’s legs, feeling the heat growing nearly unbearable as he pushed in further and listening intently to the moans of sheer pleasure. Moans which made him shiver and move faster. Which made him pick up pace, as he kissed Armitage, grinding against him, pushing in and out, unsure of where his body ended and Armitage’s started. It all became a blur and at the same time Armitage’s face was thrown into sharp relief, the shape of his beautiful face searing itself into his mind.

And then Armitage’s eyes widened, his fingernails digging into Poe’s hair as he came, pulling Poe with him with that alone.

When they finally lay still, Poe couldn’t even move. He was entrapped in Armitage’s legs, which were still holding him as much as those beautiful arms. Those nimble, elegant fingers brushed through his hair, tender and calming and Poe forced his face up so he could look at Armitage. His heart contracted painfully when he saw the tears staining his cheeks. “Did I do something wrong?” Poe asked, pushing himself up a bit so he could see Armitage better. But he knew that wasn’t it. It probably wasn’t… or could it be? Had he read the signs wrong? Had he hurt him? “Ar-“

“I love you, Poe,” Armitage whispered and the words took a moment for Poe to register. Armitage loved him…

“Armitage…” He stared down at him. At the tear-stained face and the truth shouting out at him from his eyes. He nodded slowly and leaned in again, his mind racing with the implications of those words. No promises. Those walls had completely shattered and Poe couldn’t even tell when it had happened. He didn’t care. He couldn’t. “I love you,” Poe whispered against Armitage’s lips before he shut him up with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben Solo appears in the first paragraph. He's a complete jerk and jealous, and Brendol Hux is there too, his ugly-ass cronie. Skip it if you don't feel comfortable with it, please.
> 
> Also, there is an intensive smut scene in the second paragraph. To be fair, the entire last part is smut.
> 
> I've never felt too confident writing smut. There are so many talented people out there and I believe I have learned a lot about them, but this is the first time I'm really including dialogue, I believe. Tell me what you think, please. I'm open to criticism ;)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at the end of the chapter.

_I love you._

When was the last time someone had said those three words to him? When was the last time he had spoken them? Armitage couldn’t remember, but if pressed, he probably would have said that the last time he had exchanged them with someone had been with his mother. He tried not remembering. It kept him going most days. It kept him pushing through the day, but right now all he wanted to do was remember.

His urge to say those words. Everything that had led up to this moment of when they had spilled from his lips. One confession he had never made to another man before.

Poe’s arm was still around his middle, sleepy drowsiness in combination with the heavenly heaviness of his arm trying to pull him under again, but already the sun was creeping in through the door, falling at the foot of the bed where their socks now lay.

With a satisfied sigh, he put his hand on top of Poe’s. This had happened, hadn’t it? Had this really been him last night? Desperately clinging to Poe, begging him to sleep with him? He felt raw. Not just from what they had done, but his chest seemed to be split open, his heart exposed for Poe to take. Even now, hours after it.

There was a soft meowing and Millie slowly made her way towards him, pressing her head against his chest. Beebee had joined them at some point during the night, the way he always did, and was now fast asleep in the hollow of Poe’s knee. How strange, that now he let animals sleep in his bed… that Poe was here, still underneath the same blanket as him, his nose nuzzled against his neck.

Millie’s fur was as silky as ever, her soft purring the perfect sound for this moment. Armitage pulled her closer. “You want food, huh?”

She gave no response but pressed her forehead against his, one touch enough to let Armitage know that she wanted food above all else. Well, it was high time to be getting up anyway.

He carefully extricated himself from Poe’s embrace, almost feeling sorry to leave him behind, but Poe could sleep in a bit longer. Picking up Millie, Armitage walked past the now empty box. All the other kittens were already busy in the living room and kitchen. He took care not to step on any of them as he moved over to the counter and placed Millie on top of it. Right at the spot where he had first fed her milk. “You really changed my life, you know that?” Armitage muttered, wondering when had been the last time he’d walked around his house naked. How things changed…

He picked up the can, poured some food into a bowl for the kittens, prepared the next bowl for Beebee and the third one for Millie. It had become routine already. Feeding nine additional mouths like it was nothing. He put the bowl with the food for the kittens down on the floor, where the seven small cats were already assembled, assaulting the bowl the moment it touched the tiles. And this was when Millie complained. Loudly.

“Keep your hat on.” Shaking his head, Armitage put the bowl before her and took a moment to watch her eat. He’d have to shower, get everything ready for the school day. Wake Poe… with a kiss? With something more intimate? Would they have time for that? A look at the clock above the couch told him that they wouldn’t. But who cared? They had all the time in the world now, didn’t they? This could wake until evening. “He loves me,” Armitage whispered, burying his nose in Millie’s fur, his heart pounding wildly and his lips stretched into a manic grin. Poe loved him. What a concept! What a thought!

“Yeah, he does.”

Armitage flinched, his head snapping around and he nearly knocked Beebee’s bowl to the ground. There he was. Standing in the doorway, still completely naked, leaning against the door frame with his arms folded over his chest. Gorgeous and magnificent as ever, his golden skin and every contour of his body perfectly highlighted by the sun streaming in through the kitchen window. The shadow of his beard was nearly as distracting as the muscular forearms.

And this man loved him… To have said it was one thing. To have the words accepted and returned was something he would need a few weeks to wrap his head around.

Tentatively Poe approached him, side-stepping the kittens while Beebee was still lying in bed, pointed ears perked up, watching them both. “You love me?”

Heart fluttering, Armitage pulled him closer, hands on Poe’s hips. They fit perfectly into his hand. Just like Poe’s body fit perfectly against his. Like two pieces of a puzzle. “How often do you want me to say it?” he asked, their lips almost touching as Poe pushed him against the counter.

“Every day,” Poe said and it looked like he was about to add something else, but instead he captured Armitage’s lips with his.

Two weeks later Armitage had almost gotten used to all of this. Choir practice was going far better than he would have thought possible. Even being in that classroom again didn’t disturb him, apart from the moment he first set foot inside it again. Once the kids and he had decided on the songs they were going to perform, things went smoothly, and if it hadn’t been for Poe whisking him home every single evening, he would’ve said those hours spent building up the choir were the best thing of his entire day.

But work wasn’t the only thing in his life anymore.

There was Millicent. There was cuddling the cats, making plans for the kittens; two of which would of course go to Rose and Rey, while the other five had been offered a home by Poe’s dad. Well… and there was Poe. Beautiful, kind, funny, magnificent Poe, who turned out to be an average cook and a perfect lover.

Armitage even managed to hang the framed poster in the living room on a for once cloudy Thursday when Poe was still in school and he’d got home early. The poster now hung right above the couch and the kittens were demolishing his brand new couch. There wasn’t a whole lot he could do about it. They went to work the moment he and Poe left the house. Not even Beebee seemed to want to stop them.

Shooing them away at least gave him a respite for a couple of minutes. He stood back, hands on his hips to look at the poster. It looked alright, he thought. He was sure he could have found a better place for it, but right now he was just looking forward to Poe coming home and seeing the picture. His lips would form that beautiful smile again, his eyes would gleam with pride and adoration. Progress. That’s what he would call it.

 _How pathetic_ , Armitage thought, grinning to himself. _To think you’re still grovelling for approval_. But he was. And he wasn’t feeling pathetic about it. Wasn’t it a miracle that Poe wanted him? Wasn’t it insane that Poe loved him? That, from all the places he could have ended up, he’d wound up here, only to find the one person in the entire world who would think him worthy of love and affection? So, why shouldn’t he grovel a bit? He’d earned this. Finally there was shame free, grovelling. Grovelling which was met with nothing but pure love.

Love… there it was. That word again.

The soft knock at the door was the queue for him to take another step back and pick up little Chandler, one of the guys who would be moving to Poe’s father in just a few weeks. Armitage hadn’t quite managed to wrap his head around that yet. Letting go of these kittens would be harder than he would have expected. But for now, Chandler let himself be carried by Armitage as he headed for the door. Chandler was definitely one of Poe’s favourites with his mostly grey pelt, black ears and white chest. Maybe Armitage should keep him after all, if just to please Poe. He should bring this up straight away.

“I haven’t even started dinner,” he said, opening the door. It was as though he had run straight into a brick wall.

He fell a step back. One mistake. Big enough to ruin it all. Without waiting for an invitation, Brendol Hux strode into his living room, the kittens rushing back to the bedroom. Only Millie remained. Millie and Beebee and Chandler. Three little animals. The only support he had right now.

His hands were numb, his head buzzing with fear as Brendol walked into the centre of the room. “It stinks in here,” he said, his voice holding the exact same trace of venom Armitage remembered so well. “When did you decide to be a zookeeper too?”

Armitage tried swallowing, but it was all he could do to stand there in the open doorway, Chandler in his arms as he stared at his father, head held high, unwilling to drop his gaze and invite a taunt that would undoubtedly be worse.

Brendol sniffed once, then he let his gaze wander over the furniture, the kitchen, the small workspace, the piano. Finally, his gaze lingered on the frame which Armitage had just hung up on the wall. His insides churned when Brendol approached it, hands in his pockets. “I thought we had decided you are done with this nonsense.”

He still couldn’t answer. His mouth was dry, his tongue taking up every bit of space in his mouth. Thick and heavy it lay there, unwilling to move. Making him look foolish. Foolish, but not impertinent. There was a thin line he couldn’t cross.

“Well?” Brendol prompted, his voice fierce now as he spun around to face Armitage. He hadn’t changed at all in the past few months. The beard was still as thick as ever, though no longer as fiery red as it had been when Armitage was still a boy, the eyes still as intimidating. And there was that familiar waft of nicotine and brandy. It had entered the room along with his father. It was lingering in the apartment, hovering between them. An invisible cloud that would not do the slightest bit of good if Brendol decided he’d had enough.

“What do you want?” It must be the bravest thing he’d ever said to his father. There was no trace of politeness in his voice. No sense of pleading or despair, though his heart was telling him to run. But if he left now, Beebee and Millie were left to Brendol’s mercy. And Armitage knew exactly that Brendol would take his anger out on the animals.

The first reaction was Brendol raising his eyebrow. Then he took a step towards Armitage, one hand in his pocket, the other hanging lazily by his side. Armitage made sure to keep that in mind. He knew that stance. And he knew he was walking on very thin ice. He took a deep breath and gently put Chandler on the armchair which Poe had brought in that very weekend. “Is that a way to greet your father?”

Armitage’s throat was tight. He only just brought up the strength to look up again. His heart was hammering so wildly in his chest, he was almost sure Brendol could hear it. The words were halfway to his lips, before he managed to swallow them down. One tiny act of defiance that might cost him. Shaking his head, Armitage moved towards the kitchen counter. Anything to put space between himself and his father. Before he’d even gone two steps, he felt his father’s hand clutching around his arm. Hard. With the brute strength he remembered.

“I’m a grown man,” Armitage said, forcing his eyes to turn icy cold as he glared at his father.

They were the same height.

They had the same eyes.

Their noses were exactly alike.

The only difference, apart from age, were the lips and the roundness of Brendol’s face.

The sneer now appearing on Brendol’s face was so much like the one Armitage had seen on his own so often. Mirrors didn’t lie.

“Let go.”

He didn’t. Instead, his fingers tightened around his arm. “A grown man?” Brendol scoffed, his breath hitting Armitage straight in the face, reminding him of how little he was in the face of… this… “No spine, no ambition. You sicken me.” Brendol pushed him away, his fingers finally releasing their iron grip

Only just did Armitage manage to stop himself rubbing the place where Brendol had grabbed him. This was routine. Just one of those normal every-day terrors of his adolescence. No use answering. No use snapping back. God, how he hated himself. Every minute he spent not shooting back was a minute closer to losing more of his dignity. Millie jumped on top of the couch, Beebee just stood there, glaring at Brendol.

“I’m talking to you.”

Armitage managed a curt nod. “I am aware.” A few years ago he would have answered differently. _Yes, Sir._ Those two words were hanging on his lips, but he wouldn’t let them out. He couldn’t. His eyes shifted to the poster for the blink of an eye. Poe loved him. Poe would want him to stand up to this monstrosity. But how? How, when his muscles were frozen? How, when all he could think about was finding ways not to make himself even smaller.

Brendol’s eyes narrowed and for once he looked as though what he was about to say was disdainful to him. Talking down to his son was familiar territory. Insulting him, making sure he stayed in his place was normal.

This was different.

“Mr Solo would like to offer you the position as his _personal assistant_ again.” He was baring his teeth as he spoke these words. Harsh and cutting. Sharp like knives. But they were nothing but blunt instruments. Nothing Armitage could even be tempted to react upon. “To be _available to him_ especially in this place.”

He knew it was dangerous. Knew the ice he had placed his feet upon was more slippery and far thinner than ever before. But he laughed. Bitterly, his voice barely his own. So this was it. Ben had sent Brendol here to humiliate his father. Was that supposed to be a peace offering? Well, it might be a pathetic one, but Ben Solo wasn’t exactly known for finesse.

As he’d expected, his mirth brought colour to his father’s face, making his cheeks turn blotchy and red beneath the beard. But Armitage wasn’t done. He knew very well by now that Ben Solo’s companionship had protected him for a while. Clearly that hadn’t ceased. One word of his father acting out on him to Ben and Brendol would find himself wishing he’d never been born. Ben Solo did not like people messing with his toys. “Tell him he can go fuck himself,” Armitage said, every single word a weight off his shoulders while he kept his voice level and low. “In those exact same words. And you too by the way.”

Brendol’s eyes widened, his muscles tense, his free hand balled into a fist. For the fraction of a second he looked ready to pounce. To wipe the icy smile of Armitage’s face. But he didn’t. And Armitage knew why. The rabid dog hadn’t been tamed. He was on a leash. That leash may have been let loose a few weeks ago to allow Brendol a sense of control. The impact was bad enough. Armitage had lost his job. But he wouldn’t lose this one. He wouldn’t lose what he had. Not because of Brendol. Maybe Ben would find a way to take this away from him, but he hadn’t done it yet.

Armitage fixed his gaze on Brendol, a sense of triumph taking over, dulling the pain in his chest. He was not brave. Not willing to risk more than he already had, but for now he had won. “Get out of my house.”

Sneering, Brendol approached him, and though Armitage sensed the danger of his presence, the sheer violence in his stance, he didn’t move back. “Well, let me tell you something else,” he hissed. “First Order has taken over the wharf. Solo has just signed the contract.”

“So?” Armitage saw the tell-tale glinting in his father’s eyes, felt the smelly breath on his cheeks. He knew it was coming, but he still didn’t move. Not even when Brendol grabbed his collar and pulled him closer.

“You listen to me, boy, you take that job Solo is offering you, or I swear to God-“

“So you want me to be his boy toy? Interesting.”

The muscles in his stomach tightened automatically. This was routine. Brendol’s fist connecting with his stomach still left him winded. Breathing hard, he reached up to push the other man away. What a weak little man this was, Armitage thought, but before he could do anything else, the next fist fell on his temple and his head was thrown to the side. From the distance he heard Beebee barking. _God no. Not Beebee._ The barking turned into a squeal of pain as Brendol kicked him to the side. Armitage blinked against the red in his one eye. He couldn’t see, but somehow he managed to dodge the next hit and escape his father’s grasp. He reached for something, anything. Breathing hard, the edge of the bar stool was all he found.

“You listen, boy,” Brendol growled and Armitage finally managed to stand upright again. Where… where was the knife Poe had used to cut bread that morning? But he couldn’t look for it now.

_Keep your eyes on him._

_You have to see it coming._

“What?!” Armitage hissed, still blinking at the blood pouring into his eye.

“Solo will basically rule that school of yours now, no matter what you do. So I suggest you comply with his wishes.”

Armitage laughed again, the sound alone was enough to twist his own stomach. “Fuck off.”

Brendol wiped his mouth, his eyes cool and calculating but Armitage saw the wild fury there. The fury that made him want to lash out again. But something was holding him back. No… not something… the very idea of Ben Solo finding out about this. With a snort, Brendol half-turned to the door. “See you at the funeral then.”

“What funeral?” Armitage laughed, inadvertently copying his father’s tone. But Brendol didn’t answer. He turned around fully and headed straight for the door.

Armitage blinked again, wiping at the blood still pouring from his split brow into his eye as he frantically searched the counter for the kitchen towel. “Beebee?!” he asked, his voice low, desperate for the call not to reach his father. The door was still open. He knelt down and within seconds Beebee was by his side. Not wagging his tail, but clearly not injured. He looked okay. With a sigh of relief, Armitage sat down on the tiles, the kitchen towel pressed against his forehead, Beebee nestled, trembling against his side.

And then he saw him.

Poe standing in the doorway. Ashen-faced. Holding his school bag in his hand like it was made of lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Brendol appears and once again displays his "A+ parenting skills". There is serious abuse (physical and mental) in this chapter and it starts with him showing up at the door. There is also violence towards animals in this bit.
> 
> Ben Solo is also mentioned, along with implied Kylux, which is the thing that drives Brendol up the wall in the end.
> 
> Quick summary: Brendol is sent to tell Armitage that Ben wants him to be his "personal assistant" and Armitage basically tells him to fuck off. Brendol hits Armitage and kicks Beebee, who is trying to defend Armitage. But Brendol is too terrified of Ben to do any more and hurries off with the remark that Armitage will "see him at the funeral". When Poe shows up, Armitage is sitting on the floor with Beebee next to him, and something dawns on him.
> 
> SORRY! Cliffhanger! And I'm sorry for this violent chapter! I really wanted to focus on this confrontation and have been itching to share it with you for a while now. Tell me what you think of Armitage's reaction and of my terrible cliffhanger, please ;)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning for mention of character death and grief. You've all seen it coming, I suppose.

“What the-“ Poe stared down at him, still rooted to the spot in the doorway. “Armitage…” He sounded breathless, his voice shaky and wheezy. He dropped his bag and kicked the door shut, the sound resonating through the empty apartment. “What the fuck?”

He crossed the distance between them and within seconds he was kneeling in front of him, gently forcing Armitage’s hand away to take a look at the wound while Beebee put both his front paws on Poe’s legs. But Poe pushed him away, his eyes focused on Armitage, who was only waiting for the shame and humiliation to set in.

“I’m gonna take you to hospital. Then I’m gonna kill him,” Poe whispered, teeth bared. “What the _fuck_ , Armitage?”

“No.” Armitage shook his head and raised the soaked-through kitchen towel to his brow again. “It’ll pass. Don’t worry about it.”

“You need stitches”

“No, I don’t. It’s better already.” Shaking his head ever so slightly, he kept pushing the towel against his brow.

“I-“

“Leave it, please.” He was in no mood to talk about this. He wasn’t sure he had the strength to. Not when Poe was already sitting in front of him, seeing all of this. Closing his eyes, he lowered his head, all energy drained from his body. “I’m sorry, I meant to clean it all up.”

Poe was silent for a few moments, then he stood up again and Armitage heard him move around, rummaging through the cabinet in the bathroom. Within seconds he was back, sitting once again in front of Armitage. “Come on, let me take another look.”

Turning his head away was the first, natural move.

“Don’t be an idiot, Hugs.”

“Poe…”

“Let me take a look, or I’m gonna call the police.”

That did it. “You’re gonna have me arrested?” he whispered, trying to sound light-hearted, but Poe didn’t even attempt to fake a smile. He didn’t answer either.

His hands, warm and tender, gently lifted the cloth off Armitage’s face and Armitage was surprised how easy it was to let him. Easier than telling him about all the other stuff his father had done to him. He watched Poe scrutinize the wound, a heavy frown on his face. Then Poe took out the small bottle of antiseptic and poured a small amount on a snow-white strip of cotton. “It’s not really bleeding anymore,” he said quietly before he started treating the wound.

Armitage could have done it himself, but he knew that Poe needed this. Needed this sense of control. “I’m sorry,” Armitage said again and Poe’s eyes narrowed.

And Poe didn’t say a word, just cleaned the wound and Armitage’s face, his fingers sure and determined. He put a band-aid over Armitage’s brow and shook his head. Then he sat there across from Poe, hands limp in his lap. This was probably the worst bit. Watching Poe see him like this. Seeing what had been his every day life for such a long time.

“Poe…”

Poe shook his head, shutting Armitage up with this one single motion. The anger in his eyes was slowly dissipating, but that stare was still boring into him, still peeling away every layer of protection Armitage had built around himself over the years until he sat there, empty and open. Nothing but a shell with all his fears laid out in front of him. Like that one cut had been enough to destroy the walls he had set up around himself.

The thing was, with every touch Armitage felt less vulnerable. The cracks in his armour were still there, but he didn’t mine Poe seeing them. Touching them. He didn’t feel like Poe should not be seeing this. Like Poe shouldn’t see the shame and the anger and the helplessness. Who could he trust with all of this, if not Poe?

When Poe finally spoke again, it was with a raspy voice, the anger only thinly veiled by a pretence of calm. “What did he want?” It was as though every single word had to be carefully contained, so Poe didn’t shout. So Poe didn’t storm off and make good on his promise.

Armitage scoffed, a trace of that mirthless laugh still stuck in his throat. “Offer me a job at First Order… doing… God knows what… I told him to fuck off. Then this happened.” He was cut short by his own hiccupping breath. He was thirty-five. How was it that he still let his father do these things to him? How come, he let himself be pushed around like this?! Biting his lip, he shook his head. What was there left to say?

Armitage took a deep breath. The last words his father had said to him still lingering in his mind. “Is… Leia?”

Poe dropped his gaze so quickly, it was answer enough. Without another moment’s hesitation, he reached out and took Poe’s hand in his. “Poe…”

“Luke found her this afternoon… still lying in bed…”

So this was it. After weeks of being sick, when everyone had thought she was finally getting better, when everyone was sure she was doing fine. How was this fair? How could this be? Now of all times? Poe’s hand was limp in his, no tension in the small muscles there. “I’m sorry,” he said again, a completely different connotation to this phrase. “I’m so so sorry.” Leia deserved better. Poe deserved better.

His heart still thumping wildly, he pulled Poe in and Poe fell against his chest, shuffling so he could sit more comfortably only when Armitage buried his hand in his hair. He felt his body trembling, felt the shuddering breath against his skin. Poe had loved her. Leia, to him, was more than just a colleague. She was more than a friend. Her opinion had meant the world to him and he’d relied on her.

Trying to ignore the singeing pain in his chest, Armitage pressed his lips to the top of Poe’s head. How incredible was it that he knew all this. That he felt this. This aching in his heart just from knowing that Poe was hurting. It drove everything else away. The terror of the past hour. The fear. The pain. All that was left was the warmth in his chest. Warmth, because he was triumphant. He loved Poe. Loved him so much he could feel the other’s pain.

What a selfish little creature he was. He’d known it for a while, but he couldn’t help himself. Poe needed him and Armitage would provide.

Poe let out a soft whimper. “What am I gonna do?”

“You’re going to keep going,” Armitage said. “Step by step. You’ll be Principal and you are going to be great at it.”

There was no answer. Poe dug his hands into Armitage’s shirt. Poe hadn’t been talking about that. Not about his professional career. Of course he hadn’t. “I-“ he began, but he broke off and Armitage didn’t push him to say anything else. Not for a while. Not until Poe was ready to speak again. “I have to prepare something for school tomorrow.” He sat up, but before he could do it himself, Armitage raised his hands and wiped the tears from his face. “Will you help me?”

“You don’t even have to ask, love.”

The theatre was packed. From where Armitage was sitting with the rest of the faculty, he couldn’t see the students, but he knew they were there. All of them. The order of this morning was Assembly rather than Homeroom. He had helped Poe put the posters up that very morning. He’d been there for him, holding him as he couldn’t sleep. Kissing him when it all became too much. Getting him to take a shower in the morning to get ready for school.

Everyone stared at him that morning, and Armitage couldn’t blame them. There was a slight bruise on his temple and the band-aid spoke volumes. Normally he would have called in sick until he was sure people wouldn’t stare anymore. But it was a luxury he could forego easily enough. Poe needed him to be here, so damn the stares and the way they reminded him of Brendol. He’d gone through this before, after all.

He sat there, listening to Poe, to the words he had put together to tell the students about Leia. About how she had spent most of her life making sure this school was running smoothly. About how much she had cared about the students and faculty. About all the things that mattered. Towards the end, his voice hitched somewhat, and Armitage felt that twinge of pain in his chest again.

Poe paused, his eyes roaming over the students assembled in front of him. There had been murmuring before he had stepped up to speak to them. It had died down the moment he had picked up the microphone to address all those faces he knew and all those faces Leia would never lay eyes on again.

“Leia Organa,” he said finally, his voice slightly hoarse, but firm once more, as he neared the conclusion of his speech, “was more than a teacher. She was a pillar of this community, of this school. She did her best to make everyone feel welcome. She encouraged open communication among the students and the faculty. She made sure nobody’s voice was left unheard.”

Armitage shifted in his seat. He couldn’t say he could relate to everything Poe was saying. He hadn’t known Leia long enough for that. But he felt the impact she’d had on Poe. On Rey. On this entire community.

“Her family,” Poe said after a short pause, his eyes pointedly avoiding Rey, who was sitting next to Armitage, “will hold a private funeral. Therefore we will put up a condolence book in front of the theatre, so those wishing to pay their respects to Principal Organa will be able to do so.” He stopped for a moment, surveying the students assembled before him. This was taking a lot out of him, Armitage knew, and Poe was doing his best to seem composed. Relaxed. But there was an edge to his words. Something that made it clear to the whole room that Leia’s passing was affecting him, but also that he would do all he could to keep this place going, and going well.

_Authenticity_ , Armitage thought. _This is what this is. Showing weakness when others need to see it._

“I am sure you are all eager to get back to your friends. To your classes, and the afternoon clubs. To get on with your life and have me stop talking already.” Poe managed a smile. “Principal Organa would have shut me up a few minutes ago.” The smile grew wider and there was a glistening in his eyes which made Armitage catch his breath. “So I will. Get back to class. Get back to learning. Keep Principal Leia in good memory.” He took a deep breath and nodded. “Thank you for your attention.”

Armitage slowly turned his head to look at Rey. She was pale, but composed as she stared at the edge of the stage in front of them. He really wasn’t sure she was supposed to be here. How could she even think of teaching in her condition?

But they were all here, weren’t they? Poe and Rey and Rose… every single member of the faculty had shown up. Even Dave was sitting a few chairs down, right next to Chad, who was wiping his face with a large handkerchief.

Then Dave was first to get up, opting to hurry up the stairs leading up to the exit before anybody else. He probably had a ton of stuff to organize with Leia now gone. Behind them, Armitage heard the soft shuffling of feet and low murmurings of students as they followed Dave’s example.

Rey remained seated, her hands gripping the arm rests of her chair so tightly, Armitage could see the white of her knuckles. “Do you want me to watch your students?” he asked in a low voice and her head snapped up.

Shaking her head, she got up and reached for Rose’s hand. Leia had been her aunt. Rey hadn’t grown up here, but Leia had made sure she settled in here alright along with her father. “Thank you,” Rey said, her voice barely more than a whisper before she and Rose started on their way out of the auditorium and back to teaching. Back to everyday life.

Armitage looked up at the stage, to where Poe was now sitting, hands folded in his lap.

“You did well,” Armitage said, cocking his head. A small compliment. Better than nothing in the light of what had happened yesterday.

Poe shrugged and scratched his nose. “I’m not sure I can do this…” he muttered. “The board will want to appoint another Principal and soon. Who knows what’ll happen here then.”

“They’re gonna pick you, aren’t they?”

Another shrug. “Who knows. What with First Order now in the picture… who can tell.” He hadn’t forwarded Brendol’s message yet, but it was surely only a matter of time. And once First Order was the biggest employer in town, it was only a matter of time as well before they gained even more influence over the school.

“I typed up a letter last night,” Armitage said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. What a strange feeling this was. To go back to work when everything was mayhem. But he was already late, and the kids needed him. “Letting the parents know what happened. You can use it if you want. Or edit it.”

The tired smile spreading on Poe’s face was painful to watch. “Thank you. I’ll take a look.” Poe had barely slept that night, and it showed. Not that Armitage was well rested either.

“Okay.” Why were his hands trembling? He reached into his bag, pulled out his tablet and swiped across the screen. “I’ll forward it to you.”

“How?” Poe asked with a frown and it seemed as though the sorrow was temporarily forgotten. “We don’t have wifi.”

“No, but I’ve been using my phone as a hotspot for a few weeks now.”

“You what?”

Armigage’s head snapped up, relief washing over him when he didn’t see anger, but confusion on Poe’s face. “I-“

“What’s a hotspot?”

With a grunt, Armitage pulled him close, not even bothering to look over his shoulder to make surethat nobody was watching them. “I’ll tell you later, you loser.”

Poe blinked at him and Armitage reached for his hand unceremoniously to pull him up the stairs towards the exit. “I don’t appreciate-“

“No, I know. But I have to get to class before the kids start decapitating each other.”

Poe tugged at his hand, pulling him to a stop with that movement alone. “Thank you,” Poe said quietly. They were close to the open door now, and Poe’s eyes darted to the corridor beyond, where students were still standing and chatting. No doubt they could see the two of them talking. No doubt they saw their locked hands.

“For trying to keep them all intact?” Armitage nodded. “It’s what I get paid for, you know?”

Poe released his hand with a soft snort and stepped closer. “Of course.” A genuine smile now flickered across his face as he leaned in and kissed him briefly, causing a bit more mumbling in the corridor. “I’ll see you later.” His hands on Armitage’s hips gave a soft squeeze, then he turned away, heading out into the corridor where the students parted for him.

With a sigh, Armitage looked back at the now empty auditorium and the stage with it’s black backdrop, unsure of what that view evoked in him. Right now… right now it meant nothing. It couldn’t mean anything. But somehow… somehow, he had this strange feeling that one day, when all of this was over, when they could forget about First Order and Brendol… maybe then it could.

Brushing a hand over the band aid on his brow, he turned around and started making his way to the Physics Lab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a confession to make.... I'm a pantser. So... I wish I knew, but I don't whether this fic is going to have one more chapter, or two. But one thing's for sure: there'll be a sequel. Does that help?
> 
> Let me know what you think, please :-)


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning at the end of the chapter.

The soft murmuring had an almost numbing effect. It didn’t make him forget the funeral, or Luke’s eulogy, but it was oddly reassuring in the madness of it all.

Poe was sitting on one of the comfortable chairs in Leia’s living room. This was the house Rose and Rey would move into eventually. Not straight away, but at some point. Leia, apparently, had left it to them in her will.

He kept glancing at Solo who was standing a few feet away in the open dining area, a mug of coffee in his hand as he talked to Armitage.

Poe found it strange to see the two of them talking. Strange. Yes. That was the appropriate word, because there couldn’t be anything else going on. Not judging from the way Armitage kept himself upright. Not with the way his jaw was set and he had already half turned his back to Solo.

At least Brendol wasn’t here. At least Solo had shown a morsel of decency and left his rabid dog in a place far away.

“Stop staring at them,” Luke whispered as he sat down on the armrest of Poe’s chair.

“Does it make me look needy?” Poe asked, raising his eyebrow at his own coffee instead. The murky brown substance was dreadful. Armitage had made it. Somehow Poe doubted he would ever get the hang of it. And that thought made him smile despite himself.

“Very much so.” Luke’s heavy hand fell on his shoulder. “It’ll be alright,” he added, nodding.

“What exactly?” Poe didn’t know Luke too well. He’d only ever met him on Leia’s birthday, or at Rey’s or Rose’s. Luke Skywalker was a marvellous mechanic, but a bit of a loner. 

Luke sighed. There were deep shadows under his reddened eyes and for once Skywalker seemed at a loss for words. “You and him. I have a good feeling about that.”

Not that Poe needed reassurance from a guy who avoided social contact whenever possible, but Poe still appreciated the sentiment. “Armitage is a good guy,” he said quietly. “Solo really isn’t.” How could he be, when he used his former boyfriend in a play of power with one of his employees? What kind of a person did that? And how could he possibly be Leia’s kid?

“No, I suppose he is not.” Luke clapped him on the shoulder again. “I hear the district is still discussing your application as Principal.”

Poe nodded again. Principal. He wasn’t sure he even wanted the job. It meant giving up teaching altogether. It meant fully admitting that Leia was gone and wouldn’t come back. He bit his lip and shrugged. On the other side of the room Rey, Rose and Finn were talking quietly, Rey still looking as downtrodden as she had every single day since Leia’s passing. “We’ll see how the district and the board decide…”

“They’d be damn stupid not to take you. Leia put all her faith in you, and you haven’t

let her or the kids down once.”

“She said that?”

When Poe looked up again, Luke wasn’t looking at him anymore, but at Rey. “Rey and Leia both. You’re the right person for the job. Everybody knows that. And it’s not the worst idea to have someone as young as you in a position like that.”

Poe didn’t answer. What was there to say? Was he supposed to thank Luke for his kind words? Was he supposed to tell him he was sure any other person could do the job just as well?

“Well… Poe, I guess I’ll see you at the Christmas Fair. It’s still on, right?”

Poe shifted uncomfortably in his seat, but he looked up again, turning his head to Armitage and Solo, who were still talking. Armitage had turned back to face Solo, but his shoulders were stiff, his eyes staring straight ahead. “We’ve put so much effort into it already,” Poe said quietly, getting to his feet, “I doubt Leia would have wanted us to cancel.”

“No, she wouldn’t have,” Luke said with an appreciative nod and Poe had to admit, that nod was weirdly comforting. Already he had received a few mails from parents, asking whether in light of recent events holding a fundraiser such as this was the best idea. He replied to each and every one of them with the same words. The Fair and especially the school it was supposed to support had both been close to Leia’s heart. The effort the kids had already put into it could not be ignored. It would have been nothing but another blow that nobody needed

Taking over responsibility like this was hard, but not nearly as hard as he would have feared. On the contrary, it was almost like the past few weeks had been a dry run with Leia’s presence still there as a safety net. Reassuring him. Making him believe in himself.

Especially her words when he had visited her in hospital that day had become clearer over the course of the last couple of days. She’d meant to retire. To leave it all in Poe’s hands. He knew that now. Well, here he was. And he wished she were back. And she would not get the chance to sleep in for the rest of her life, unbothered by unwelcome paperwork. The most selfish thought crept into his mind, forcing him to close his eyes and press his lips into a thin line. He wished he didn’t have to do this alone. “Thanks, Luke,” he said, looking around the others. At Rey, Rose and Finn, still talking quietly. They had always been there for him. They would be there in future when he needed them again. Chad was busy in the kitchen, Poe knew, packing up the food, so everyone would take doggie bag home with them. Heck, even Ben Solo had managed to show up, at least without any obvious kind of agenda, other than cornering Armitage.

At least, at this very moment, he felt like things could actually be okay again some day.

Armitage shook his head at Solo, then he turned away and headed for Poe, his hand immediately stroking up his back. He wasn’t pushing Poe to go, probably never would, but Poe knew he was anxious about the kittens. Not long now and they would be gone from their every-day lives forever. Their eyes met and the stab of jealousy he had felt moments before vanished as though it had never been. “What are you talking about?”

“The Christmas Fair.” Poe smiled and shrugged. “I’m tired,” he said, although he wasn’t at all. _Tired_ wasn’t even beginning to describe what he was feeling. He was exhausted and alle he wanted to do was curl up on the couch with Armitage and their eight cats and Beebee, always dreading that one of them might fall off.

“We should go then,” Armitage said. The bruise was still clearly visible, though he had taken off the bandage. The cut didn’t look too bad anymore, but Poe felt ready to punch something whenever he thought too hard about it or the person who had caused this. For a second his eyes fell on Solo who was still standing in the dining area in his meticulous suit, both hands in his pockets, his face unreadable.

“This looks surreal,” Armitage said quietly as his eyes roamed over the packed entrance hall, where most of the stalls had been set up.

“What exactly?” Poe asked. They were standing to the side, observing the hustle and bustle. Finn was walking past the stalls on the other side of the big room, talking quietly to Kes. They were both holding mugs filled with Christmas punch.

“Well, it’s about thirty degrees outside.”

“Sounds about right.”

“Celsius.”

Poe nodded at the thinly veiled annoyance in Armitage’s voice and held back a grin. There must be about a hundred people in here, which was quite a success, given that the event was scheduled to end within the hour. Every single visitor, not all of them parents, stopped at the picture and the condolence book which had been laid out at the far side of the entrance hall. Poe hadn’t expected it at all, although he’d always known that people had loved Leia. To think that she was having this kind of impact, even now, almost brought tears to his eyes.

“I mean, that tree in the middle is fake.” Armitage said, sounding almost whiny.

Poe passed a hand over his face and looked at Armitage. He had opened up so much, had spent so much time here in school to make sure the kids got enough rehearsal time, showing them that he cared and that he wanted them to do as well as humanly possible. “Yes, it’s fake.” Poe reached up to touch the small of Armitage’s back. He couldn’t remember ever being so proud of someone. “Ever thought of the impact on the environment to get a real Christmas tree to the desert?”

With a snort, Armitage looked down at his phone and Poe’s stomach twisted into a painful knot for a second. But then Armitage let out a sigh of relief. “They’ve landed.”

“Good.” Poe didn’t have to ask. The two people they’d successfully avoided these past few days had taken off the previous day. “Talk about environmental impacts. Flying to London and back here every other week is pretty bad too.”

Armitage shrugged and shoved his phone back into his pocket. Poe would have to get used to this, he thought. To having other people vying for Armitage’s attention. “First Order isn’t known for their involvement with Fridays for Future.”

“No,” Poe sighed, as Kes approached the choir and stuck a crisp bill into the jukebox. A mere second later Christopher stuck his head out of the top of it to ask for Kes’ request. “I really should go over there and help.”

The first hour or so had been slow going, but once people found out what the kids were doing at the jukebox stall, things went alright. And the choir was actually quite good. Armitage had worked a little miracle there. “You’re gonna hate the song my dad’s gonna pick.”

Of course he did. Armitage loathed _Last Christmas_ and the way he rolled his eyes every single time that song was requested, was downright hilarious. Poe bit his lip when it happened now and tugged at Armitage’s shirt.

Gillian was at the piano. Mark and Nick were pulling the rest of the group with them as they started the song.

“It’s not even a carol.”

“Well, it’s what you get for letting the kids choose,” Poe chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. In the far corner Chad and his group of kids were almost out of Christmas cookies and next to him Rey and Rose were still making crêpes and sugared almonds. You could get a sugar high just from being in the same room. The money they made here wouldn’t nearly be enough to fully restore the gym, but this way they’d be able to put some money aside and finally buy the supplies they desperately needed.

“We’ll be getting a fake Christmas tree too, I expect,” Armitage sighed, watching Mark and Nick perform to their hearts’ content while Finn was rummaging through his wallet to demand another song directly afterward.

“Well, if by _we_ you mean Millie and Chandler and yourself, then I suppose that’s up to you.”

“You know very well, who I mean, you buffoon.”

Poe nodded, his eyes grazing over the picture of Leia again. His heart leapt at what Armitage had said, and yet, at the same time, he couldn’t find it in him to show it. The wound was still too fresh, and no matter how often he told himself that Leia had always insisted on life going on, no matter what, that twinge of sadness still lingered. “Well,” he said, “if you can resign yourself to an environmentally friendly tree of recycled plastic…”

Armitage grunted and threw him a sideways glance. “Ridiculous.”

“Well, ridiculous is what you’re gonna get with me, Hugs.”

There it was. That half-hearted sneer and beneath the treacherous sea-green eyes. “Curse you, Dameron.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: The funeral takes place at the beginning of the chapter. 
> 
> Ben Solo is there, talking to Armitage. To avoid, skip reading at: "Leia, apparently, had left it to them in her will." You can keep reading at: "Stop staring at them"  
> Another possibility for skipping ahead a bit is at "Armitage is a good guy" until "I hear the district is still discussing your application as Principal.”"  
> Next fragment after: "everyone would take doggie bag home with them" until with "He wasn’t pushing Poe to go" Armitage returns to Poe.  
> Also, please scroll until the next paragraph begins after. "The cut didn’t look too bad anymore, but Poe felt ready to punch something whenever he thought too hard about it or the person who had caused this"
> 
> ___
> 
> Final Note:
> 
> Thank you all so very much for reading this and following this story. It was such a pleasure to read your comments and interact with you on various platforms! Thank your for welcoming me into the gingerpilot fandom! It really brought me back to Star Wars!  
> I'm going to start working on the sequel tomorrow, but that'll probably be slower going, given that I still have two fics in the works that I want to finish this month. :-)
> 
> Thank you all so much, and please follow me on Tumblr (sourlander) or Twitter (sourlanderGE) or instagram (sourlanderwrites) for updates and some weird, nerdy stuff. I'm looking forward to seeing you there and to reading your comments and reading your fics! 
> 
> You guys are my heroes and you restored my faith in the Star Wars fandom.
> 
> May the Force be with you all.


	27. Note - Update - Note - Update

Dear all,

thank you for staying with me and this story! I already started working on and posting the sequel, called "The Beauty Underneath".

If you're interested, just follow the link leading to the series!

All the best,

Sourlander

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate your feedback, as always. Let me know what you think.


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